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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To remove my sons advent calendar over night so he wakes up without a calendar?

69 replies

QuintessentialShadows · 03/12/2010 20:21

My son is upset about his choice of Advent Calendar....
And I am miffed about that.

I bought him the Lego Knights Kingdom calendar, it was the one he wanted. He had wanted one from the moment it was in the shops.

In addition to this calendar, he has a lovely handmade calendar with pockets. I have filled the pockets with different sweets. Chocolate lollies, lollies, kinder, marzipan, jelly sweets, etc.

He has been moping the whole evening. I ask him what it is, and he tells me he is sad because he made the wrong Calendar choice.

Not that he does not like his lego calendar, but he would ALSO want a Haribo jelly sweet calendar he now has seen in the shop....

I am sad. It is soooo spoilt, and greedy, and unappreciative.

Aibu to just remove them both while he is sleeping?

I just listened to him, and told him calmly I found his attitude upsetting and greedy, and unappreciative, and could he please go and get himself ready to bed. Good night.

Should I confiscate his calendars?

OP posts:

panettoinydog · 03/12/2010 22:51

I wouldn't take them away. You;ve told him he sounds like a greedy, selfish person (which is what I would have done) and so I would expect him to say no more about it.

classydiva · 03/12/2010 22:52

Tell him that some children don't even get one calender and he has two and should think himself lucky.

ChippingIn · 03/12/2010 23:12

Quint - well done {grin]

FGS some of you are strange. He is 8 of course he doesn't understand the 'value of money'. He made a choice, that in hindsight, he regrets - there is nothing wrong with that. He was sad about it, he was not tantruming, Quint asked him what he was moping about and he told her - why should he be punished for being upset at a decision he had made, that he now regrets?? If Quint had bought it as a suprise and he'd moaned about it that would have been completely different!

DirtyMartini · 03/12/2010 23:39

I think he sounds like a sweet kid. It doesn't sound like he is cynical or whiny or demanding. Quint has handled it, it's all good now and people should stop making humphy remarks implying he is unappreciative.

8 year olds are people too -- cut them some slack. Stuff like making a decision about which advent calendar to ask for is a really big deal at that age and if you get it wrong, you do feel sad.

Shame on those of you who cannot remember being 8!

A1980 · 04/12/2010 00:16

I don't know why he was given two in the first place. I had a one paper calendar to share with my brother when I was a child. We also had a candle. Two calendars, one filled with lego, the other with sweets is excessive. Particularly when he is getting two rewards every day for counting down to Christmas when he is going to get spoiled rotten with presents. Perhaps he's acting like a spoiled child because he is a little bit spoiled.

I would be tempted to take them away but if/when he kicks off about them being removed tell him he can have them back but if complains again you will take them away completely and he wont get them back.

Or, as others have said, you've told him what you think so leave it. If he complains again, pick up the calendars in front of him and tell him you'll give them / throw them away and also tell him he'll wont get one at all next year and then follow that through.

greenbananas · 04/12/2010 00:33

A1980, a year is a very long time to wait to follow that through!! Much too long for an eight year old! I do hope you are joking...

I know this might sound weird, but we have 2 calendars because DS is 2 years old. I plan to get another one every year . We will keep the old ones flattened under our mattress for use every year. None of them will ever have chocolate in because DS has food allergies - and because I think nativity scenes are actually more exciting than chocolate.

What on earth is wrong with 2 advent calendars??? You bunch of old scrooges!!!

Morloth · 04/12/2010 00:34

This sort of attitude in my very indulged 6 year old gets a response of 'Suck it up sunshine'.

I would give him a heads up that if he keeps whining he will have no calender at all.

My DSs are very lucky boys indeed so I am not listening to any spoiled whining.

A1980 · 04/12/2010 00:40

greenbananas I was joking. I was also going to remark that the OP herself wouldn't remeber the follow through a year later!

DreamTeamGirl · 04/12/2010 00:43

It sounds liek you handled it all really well in the end
FWIW I owuld have reacted in the 'you spolit little brat' way too, but would not have been as quick as you were to say sorry/ wrong, and agree a compromise with him, so again well done.

For those wanting non chocolate calenders- have you tried the repository at your local catholic church? We have 3 or 4 different oens that are very pretty.

greenbananas · 04/12/2010 00:44

Ah, sorry A1980 - clearly I have no sense of humour

A1980 · 04/12/2010 00:45

Not at all greenbananas. I didn't make it clear that i was kidding the first time. Truth be known, I couldn't be arsed to type anymore at that point!

Imarriedafrog · 04/12/2010 00:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greenbananas · 04/12/2010 00:55

Ah but I AM a scrooge - I only will only buy ONE each year and then save them all under the bed in the hope that they will become old favourites What a stingy mummy I am!

Original poster

QuintessentialShadows · 04/12/2010 10:25

Lol, lots of good comments here.
thisisyesterday - I get you, but I made a special bargain with ds1. I did not mention this as thought not relevant, and I am sorry to drip, but DS2 was sad because he had lost the pieces for the first two days, he had put them on the side as he was going to ask ds1 to help build them, but they got lost. (I have been hoovering) I asked ds1 if he wanted to give ds2 the pieces he was missing, as ds2 is loving his calendar and was sad about the missing pieces. Ds1 agreed, and I then offered to pick up a bag of haribo in town today. I think good deeds should be rewarded.

The second advent calendar is handmade, from my sister. The boys have one each of them. I love to put them up because they are beautiful, and it makes my sister happy to see them up in our house. We saved sweets from Halloween to put in it, and I filled the rest up with mini chocolates and percy pigs from Marks and sparks, coffee coin from starbucks, chocolate lolly from hotel chocolat, which I bought for them on a recent trip to London.

They open the lego calendar in the morning, and have a sweet from the other calendar after dinner, in lieu of pudding. (well, they may get some icecream for pudding today, as we guests.)

I absolutely LOVE Christmas, and the run up to it. We have advent candles which we light every sunday, we go shopping for fish and bake gingerbread men which we take to the nuns at the local carmelite monastery. (well, not just men, we use women, pigs, reindeer and angels and other cookie cutters too)

OP posts:

panettoinydog · 04/12/2010 17:27

There's nothing that says 'Christmas' to me quite like shopping for fish.

Extending · 04/12/2010 18:33

I would expect an 8 year old to appreciate that Lego is more valuable than chocolate or a sweet. I had an 8 year old who most certainly did. And if they don't, perhaps it's because they are growing up with the perspective that both grow on trees!

Spoilt whinging is not accepted in this house!

Original poster

QuintessentialShadows · 04/12/2010 19:21

Extending,I suppose that for a boy that has built a remote control cereal dispenser with his Lego mind storm, along with an automatic milk pouring device for a fully automated lego breakfast experience, tiny bits of lego knights kingdom just wont seem as attractive as a daily jelly sweet.....

Polish nuns eat fish for Christmas.....

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 04/12/2010 19:25

Extending - I see it quite the other way - he didn't want the most expensive one, he wanted the one which would give him the most pleasure. He chose the lego one forgetting how simplistic the pieces are and now he thinks he would have got more pleasure out of the one with Haribo in it. You have to see this as him being disappointed in his decision - not as being spoilt.

QS - he sounds very creative! It's no wonder with all that brilliant lego this is seeming a bit tame! He'll remember next year :)

panettoinydog · 04/12/2010 21:20

well if it's good enough for polish nuns...

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