AIBU or am I going crazy?

[AbsofLatkes]

Help me get some perspective. DP and I have a friend, who I am currently having a massive argument with.

This is the background - a couple of weeks ago, he was at a loss one friday night, so we invited him around for dinner. It was so nice, we decided to do it again. He lent us his hot plate to keep food warm. We agreed that we'd host it the first week, then he'd host it the next week.

Week 1 - I plan the menu and head off to the shops. DP gets phone call from friend "why hasn't abs called me? I need to tell her what to buy". DP says it's too late, I'm already at the shops, we'll talk later. When I get home (heaving shopping bags), I call friend to discuss, and he's decided that we HAVE to have x and y, so he heads off to Tesco to buy it but tells me "if someone's hosting, they should do everything". I do all the cooking
Week 2 - somehow, I can't remember how, we end up hosting again. Friend this time agrees to bring salads and wine, then asks last minute if he can bring another friend along, which is fine, because we really like the other guy. We provide the main course, plus some wine, host it in our flat, I do all the cooking.
Week 3 - Friend says he'll host. It comes to Thursday, and it turns from - us buying the starters to us buying everything and I do the cooking. Friend brings wine. By this point, I'm thinking this is a bit ridiculous. Friend is very apologetic, sorry sorry, I'll do everything next week. I vow to DP that all we're providing is wine.
Week 4 - this is supposed to be friend's week. I texted him earlier to ask how things are going. He goes "what should I get?" I respond "everything bar wine". He then comes back with (and I totally should have bet on this, as I knew it would happen) "I'll get the salads and some fish; I've had a really busy week and haven't had time. Could you get the main course?" I say no I can't - I'm very busy this evening, won't have a chance, I'm not his f*ing slave. Admittedly, I went a bit overboard with the swearing. DP started a new job this week, I've been crazy busy - it's not just friend who's in this situation. He then comes back - "stop being so ridiculous. I've done half the work. There's no reason to be so rude". We are now having a MASSIVE argument.

now ladies. AIBU or is he?

You really need to ask?

Arse.

Have you got "mug" tattooed on your forehead?

YANBU.

Just cancel or you'll end up losing your friendship over this.

Blimey is it worth it? Get a bloody take-away. Presumably the whole point is to get together and have a good time, but it doesn't sound like much fun to me.

He is taking the piss.

In your shoes, I'd call a halt to the whole thing.

You don't need to have a meal together every week.

Also in week 3, when we were speaking to him about what to buy he started going on about how he wanted us to get a kilo of chicken for 3 people. I was a bit about this and said a kilo's too much for three people so he said "yeah, it's so I can eat it during the week". So he was asking us to do his food shopping as well as all the food for dinner.

Although I would say don't bother getting in a row, just laugh, turn up with wine only and wait for him to order a takeaway. He'll get the hang.

Hully - this isn't half of it. Poor DP's being harassed by him daily to get him tickets for some football match as DP has good contacts. I'm the one who's being tough with him, and he's taking offense.

ARGH ARGH ARGH

If you invite him - you buy and cook. If he invites you, he buys and cooks. If he doesn't reciprocate you just don't do it again. No need to argue.

What is his secret power?

step away from the text and have a glass of wine calm down so when you next speak w him you can calmly state that the agree ment was you did 50 50 and lately you have done most hence you had assumed he would do all this week and the fact he seems to feel he doesnt to you make you feel used

YANBU (well apart from the swearring laughs)

I think his secret power is that he has no shame. Like with the first week, when he told me off for daring to choose what I wanted to cook and not consulting him first. AND he gave DP this long schpiel about the "right" kind of aubergine salad to buy.

I wish I was making this up, but I'm not.

He is a lovely guy in other areas of life, but sometimes - freaking hell.

I'm at work. Sadly they frown on wine drinking

Ah. The shameless. They get much and go far.

Sounds like an odd arangment anyway.

and he sounds barking!

The reason for the Friday night dinner is that it's Shabbat (Jewish sabbath) and it's nice to have a dinner, you chat and everything. If I was arranging it with a normal person, the normal rules would apply, of alternate invites and all that. Friend doesn't see it that way.

Spoke to DP - he's also fed up, so it's just going to be us and friend's no longer invited.

ok tripple coffee (with a promise of wine later)

Pombear anyone? I would just turn up with a bag and a bottle of wine and have done with it.

It is nice to have a dinner, you just have to make him behave with calm and pleasant non-tolerance of shameless misbehaviour.

he was on to a good thing and glad you have put an end to being put upon enjoy your Friday night.

The shameless misbehaviour should only occur two bottles of wine in, not during the organisational stages.

I am sooooooooo tempted to send him this thread, but he'd think you're all unreasonable as well.

Ooh Abso, when I was a little girl, my grannie made loction - it was lovely. I try to do it sometimes but it's never the same. This is what I do: nice fresh chicken, an onion, two carrots, may be a little chicken stock, and vermicelli. I remember having the clear soup with the vermicelli for a starter and then the chicken and roasties and veg with the extra clear soup as gravy.

Am I doing it right because it never seems the same or is just because I'm not using a kosher chicken.