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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that my sis didn't call me as soon as she had her baby

68 replies

mamaclaus · 30/11/2010 20:54

...she gave birth this morning and although I got an email from her DH, nobody called me. I can't understand it because we are quite close and she was pretty much the first person I called when I had both my babies. Or I think I can understand it but I'm upset at the reason...I have just moved to Canada and I don't think she wanted to call long distance from her mobile. Wouldn't any worry about cost go out the window when you've just had your first child? After waiting all day, I called her because I was desperate to talk to her and she said sorry and that she was planning to Skype me tomorrow. It all rankles a bit when I was planning to fly over on my own to see her next week...

OP posts:
Original poster
mamaclaus · 30/11/2010 21:28

Even though most of you are shouting at me, you are really making me laugh and feel better! Thanks for the perspective. I guess I was just so excited after giving birth that I just wanted to call her straight away. But maybe it is just me.

OP posts:
hairyfairylights · 30/11/2010 21:30

It's not about you, OP, it's about her. Give her a chance!!!

ThatllDoPig · 30/11/2010 21:30

I can understand that you want to feel more involved and close. Maybe it is compounded by being so far away physically. BUT do, please, try to cut her some slack. She has just had a baby, be united in your joy and wonder of it all, even if she isn't doing what you did in those circumstances. You will regret it if you let your feelings ruin this wonderful time for her, and ultimately for you too! Life's too short.

lunafire · 30/11/2010 21:34

YABU She just done the equivalent of a marathon, no matter how easy it was and is probably enjoying what little rest she can in between feeding her new baby. Which you prefer, a quick 3 second call with someone ratty and tired or a nice long natter with someone rested and elated?

exexpat · 30/11/2010 21:41

Maybe she was just leaving the letting everyone know up to her DH, and he thought it was safer to send you an email than miscalculate the time difference with Canada and call you in the middle of the night? (I had both my DCs overseas and had to think twice about calling family back in the UK because of different time zones).

BarbieLovesKen · 30/11/2010 21:42

Bloody hell!!! Shock

YABVVVVVVVVVVU Shock

ThatllDoPig · 30/11/2010 21:45
Bear Don't know what that means in mn language, just though you might like one, in amidst the shouting!
jugglingjo · 30/11/2010 21:48

Some people are being a bit fiery on here I feel mamaclaus !

Good to here from you, and that you're finding a fresh perspective on things helpful !

Surely that's a large part of the reason for having the AIBU threads.

Apart from the pure humour factor !

Love to you and all your growing family !

Just think nephew/ neice ! ( which did sis have b.t.w ? )

And a new cousin for yours !

Summerbird73 · 30/11/2010 21:59

sweet jesus - i am honoured to give you my first ever Biscuit

Hmm
Original poster
mamaclaus · 30/11/2010 22:09

ha ha - sounds like I am indeed a bit weird to be calling everyone I know as soon as I give birth. Sounds like most people put their feet up and ignore the rest of the world. Maybe I need to relax.

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 30/11/2010 22:11

i understand :)

i and my two best friends always call each other while in labour and afterwards (but maybe thats just us)... usually while in that 'high off drugs' happy state, to offer round the gas and air to anyone who wants some! because 'its just like weed and its free!' Grin

congratulations on your niece/nephew and enjoy your skype call tomorrow :)

MrsRhettButler · 30/11/2010 22:13

we have actually had a three way call while one of them was labouring Grin

you are not weird mama

Blu · 30/11/2010 22:15

Why not visit her once her DH finshes her paternity leave and goes back to work?
That's when I would really have valued company and help! Also, I was very protective of my dp's status as new dad and didn't want my (very lovely and vey much appreciated) female relatives making him feel edged out in those special first days.

SkyBluePearl · 30/11/2010 22:18

I really didn't feel like contacting anyone after my birth - was so exhausted and just wanted to bond and sleep! however i know thats not what my family wanted. Don't let it put a dark cloud over the arrival though

NoTeaForMe · 30/11/2010 22:22

I'm going to go against the majority and say YANBU!

I'd be really hurt if my sister did this! We have both recently had babies within 5 weeks of each other and we phoned each other within a few hours of giving birth, it wouldn't occur to us not to. I had my daughter at 6.42pm and at 9.30pm I rang my mom and dad, then my sister, then my grandad. (my husband rang his mom and dad!) And the birth was a little traumatic, and the stitching up afterwards definately was! When my sister had her son she did exactly the same! We are a close family though ....... -maybe we're the weird ones!!

KangarooCaught · 30/11/2010 22:23

She might just be gazing in wonderment at her nb.

MumNWLondon · 30/11/2010 22:27

YABVU.

When I had DS2 I texted family members and waited for them to call me, although had mobile off at certain times.

psychomum5 · 30/11/2010 22:27

not wading in on the YABU/YANBU, just thought I would let you have a giggle....

I never rang anyone after having any of my girls, DH rang his parents and they did the honours.

yet when I had DS1 (after three DDs), I rang everyone, sobbed a bit, was gleeful with others......was lovely.

now, I think if I ever told my DDs about that, they would vilify me and have a field day on MN yelling how unreasonable I was.

I you lot would agree with them!!

cograts on becoming an aunty tho, and long may you enjoy it:o:o:o

Summerbird73 · 01/12/2010 08:55

psychomum - totally with you on that Grin

Serendippy · 01/12/2010 09:03

Are you actually the sister who has just given birth and this is a backwards AIBU? Do I win the prize? I hope so, otherwise YABU.

theresapotatoundermysink · 01/12/2010 09:13

YABU, but you know that.

Your sisters probably in her lovely new baby bubble, nothing against you.

pleasechange · 01/12/2010 09:15

It wouldn't have crossed my mind to call anyone tbh. Everybody got a text from DH and of course he called his parents. My mum was there but I assumed she would tell my sisters asap (which she did)

diddl · 01/12/2010 09:47

I didn´t call my sister.

Thinking back, it didn´t occur to meBlush

Husband called both sets of parents & we left it up to them to forward the infoGrin

disappearhere · 01/12/2010 10:35

psychomum, seriously? Hmm

RunawayChristmasTree · 01/12/2010 10:37

YABU