Not to cook Christmas dinner - DH is saying I am

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As I've already had one post today telling me that I was unreasonable - I am prepared for the second.

My nuclei of a family is four - due to nature of family work/distances etc, my plan for christmas day is as follows:

Leisurely morning, nice cold buffet lunch (ham, bread, chocolates, sweets, nibbles)

3pmish go to elderly PILs for afternoon tea, taking cakes, mince pies etc with us.

5pmish go to my mother's, who due to her business, will have turkey and all the trimmings, and has said she'll feed us then.

This is supposedly where I am being unreasonable in DH's eyes, because we won't want christmas dinner then will we, because we'll already have eaten it in the day.

I said no, because of the cold lunch, which he knew about, and me not being bothered to cook all the trimmings for christmas lunch, when we can get 5* (literally) quality food, for free.

He has no problem with going to mum's and how much time we spend there, but is adament I should do christmas dinner at lunch time because that's when christmas dinner is. Who of us is BU?

When I was a child we had xmas lunch at three then it went to four...
I was always starving and the adults pissed.

But you are sorting food for lunch so I really cannot see the problem.

Thank you so much for the unanimous vote.

Mum owns a 5* hotel. They are doing lunch for all the guests at 12pm. Let me clarify we were invited to this, but both dh and I declined this in September, as we didn't want the pressure of the dc having to be on absolute best behaviour in front of paying guests, and not actually being able to see my mum, because of course she'll be working, and not sat down.

Therefore, we are going over at 5pm, as mum will be able to sit down with us, and have a proper meal, and we will have the full works.

DH has gone off to sulk seen error of his ways

Just to add on the Tuesday we are having the whole christmas day experience repeated, (and this time it will be about 1pm/2pm), as we are going to my dad's for "Christmas"!!!

BTW I have obviously spoilt him as I have done Christmas dinner for the previous 5 years, single handly, for 15 people. Including the year when I had second child the week before Christmas.

Surely the whole point of Xmas is the family being together RELAXED and ENJOYING each others company, not whats on the table at what time
Last year we had a buffet that I prepared at my in laws, i couldn't cook a full meal as was running back and forward to hospital wgere mt dad was seriously ill

why does the roast have to be at lunchtime?

tell him he is being a dick.

agree, let him bloody cook it. some men are so talibano eh

YANBU your DH is BU and needs to grow up.

We have our christmas dinner in the evening.
Our DC's don't eat much if we have a cooked meal at lunchtime plus we are both needed in the morning to de-box toys and things.
I disappear into the kitchen in the afternoon when things have calmed down a bit.

It's at 4pm because that's after the pub shuts. By then all the dc have picked at snacks all day because they are hungry and aren't interested in sitting down for 5 course Christmas Dinner. We have tried to discuss it many times! It's easier now the dc are older plus they are now sat at a different table.

Biggest issue was when they complained about their behaviour having completely ignored explanations that they couldn't go from breakfast until 4pm without eating......

Christmas dinner can be anytime of the day not necessarily lunch time!

I think people can get very attached to their christmas traditions!

YANBU to want to eat the big meal at your mum's in the evening. He is being quite U to object to not having xmas dinner at lunchtime, and he's being VVVU to be insisting that you have to cook it!