AIBU to ask you all to help me plan my defence so DH doesnt murder me when he gets home

[Ray81]

So inspired by a thread on Chat re deep cleaning your house i started it this morning. I did the kitchen, wiped all walls down, kick boards, table and chair legs, oven etc etc. then started on the front room, stairs and porch.

Well when i did the porch the carpet is so Dirty in there and was realy annoying me, i knew we had some carpet left over from doing the bedroom in the loft so went and got it out. Was enough to fit in the porch . Ripped carpet up [very satisfying] but lo and behold i am NOT a carpet fitter and therefore cannot fit the new carpet, beleive me i have tried.

So i am left with a floor without carpet and i dont think DH will be very impressed. I think i am going to pleased insanity . I have just added one more jon to the thousand he has to do bless him.

anyone know of any other defense thats better then the insanity one if so pass them this way please.

Present it as a fait-accompli. Just say you thought the old carpet needed replacing, and that the leftover carpet would look good in the porch. However, once you saw it in there you decided against it, took it up again, and will be getting some lino/tiles later in the week.

I'm with WB. Make it look like a work in progress, demonstrate enthusiasm tempered with a dollop of ineptitude, and if he's anything like my DH he won't be able to resist taking over. This is the only way I've got my DH to do anything round the house for years!

And to think I was raised a feminist

Tell him you were sick on the carpet.

Get nice tiles in, they are easy to clean.

Littlemiss - Nope no Ipod thingy hiding under the carpet damn and blast

I think the work in progress is a good idea too. I dont think it will get him to take over tbh. Put it this way the kitchen still isnt finished and he started it 2 yrs ago. He is a nitemare at finishing things.

I may get some lino later in the week as has been pointed out this would be much easier to clean the carpet i was going to put dowm was cream so probably NOT the best idea.

Definatley dont think i can delude myself that he wont notice as just picked up DD from school and first thing she said was "wheres the carpet gone." oh dear.

I agree about having a carpet in the porch - just wrong. A carpet in the kitchen is a travesty. Worst of all is a carpet in the bathroom. We moved into a house years ago with a bathroom carpet, which we immdiately ripped up; we had to replace the floorboards round the loo as well because they were sodden with piss [boak]

anyway I would tell DH that you got dog poo on your shoe and it destroyed the carpet and that tile/vinyl would be far better poo repellant surfaces.

Apricotworms - am liking the poo idea.

Now just have to make up my mind which one to use.

"Dh so sorry DD1 was sick on the carpet, then DD2 had a massive poo and that went all over it, then i threw up on it too, and then when i went out to put rubbish in bin i got dog poo ALL over it, so i HAD to take it up"

Beleivable I think so {grin]

Tell him there were fleas in it.

Years ago we had a horrible carpet in the kitchen of all places - in my defence it came with the house, I did not put a carpet in the kitchen. It was way past its best but I couldn't afford lino so kept it.

One night I went downstairs at 3:00am unable to sleep to make a cup of tea. A flea jumped on my foot. I was so pissed off I took th whole carpet up (17ft long). Dragged it out into the street and dumped it in a neighbour's skip.

DH got up in the morning to find no carpet in the kitchen. He was very puzzled, I denied all knowledge.

Tell him you threw up on the carpet then go straight to bed with a good book.

"One night I went downstairs at 3:00am unable to sleep to make a cup of tea. A flea jumped on my foot. I was so pissed off I took th whole carpet up (17ft long). Dragged it out into the street and dumped it in a neighbour's skip.

DH got up in the morning to find no carpet in the kitchen. He was very puzzled, I denied all knowledge."

This thread is the best ever. I LOVE you ripping up a 17 foot carpet in rage at 3am and dumping it on a skip.

You sound like my gran - she was a nutter. She refused to pay the council to take things away, so we used to fly tip stuff in the middle of the night. I remember once pushing an old twin tub washing machine down a rough path in the middle of the night. And throwing an old rattan chair over an allottment wall.

what unruly sun said at 14.01

ok one hr to go til dh gets homme will let you all know of his reaction.

Boring but tell him the truth .

Dh would just roll his eyes at me and take over. I think...

Marking my place to hear hubbys thoughts lol

Holy crap this has made me laugh. My own escapades include ripping out a downstairs loo carpet (I know!) because it stank, and finding the lino tiles underneath encrusted with wee. Scrubbed those, then pulled them up. We had bare concrete for a week. These things always happen to me when I'm unemployed for short stretches of time.

There's nothing wrong with carpet in the porch! The cream isn't brilliant but it was only langusihing in the loft so it doesn't matter if it gets grubby and you end up replacing it later on - alternatively - you can clean it

GOML, DOG - you both constantly remind me why I love you both!! PMSL

I'd get a few packs of tiles or some wood or laminate flooring.The new capet is only going to get manky too isn't it?

Laying a carpet properly isn't easy.They don't just meet the wall with a raw edge - you really need the tool that pulls it tight and curls it under, + gripper rods otherwise it will look like crap

Oh suprisingly boring reaction,

DH "what have you done"
Me "pulled the carpet up"
DH "why"
Me " because it was dirty and doing my head in tried to put the cream carpet down and couldnt"
DH "probably best to put lino down realy will keep it cleaner"
Me "MN will be so disappointed in you was expecting for me to have to be naked with carpet tassles on tits to distract you"
DH " Ummm will go and come back you could try that too"
Me" no bloody chance now" lol.

Love my DH to bits is sooo chilled.

What can i do tomorrow? Wonder what it will take for me to get reaction

.

Oh how disappointing! Good for you though.

Oh no I was expecting shrieks of woe.

Mind you DP doesn't even take any notice any more.

I love the fact he is very laid back about major stuff, however gets annoyed over tiny problems.

So, I can rip the sink off the wall and look all confused about puddles of water everywhere = no problem.

I smash his favourite cup = he nearly cries.

Ahh, 6 month old...perfect. You must Know how bad milk vomit smells when it is left on the carpet and it went through. You couldn't bear the thought of that smell so...