Why do people NEVER say "Thank You"??

[IDismyname]

Its's great to see people thanking others on the "Secret Santa" thread. I seem to have spent the last few weeks doing things with friends who have yet to even text to say Thanks.

I had 3 friends for lunch a few weeks ago - cooked them a nice lunch - not a word of thanks from any of them. No text. Nothing.

Spent 2 hours volunteering and running village shop. Nothing from the chap I was helping.

Drove a friend to Gloucester and back (2 hours each way) and no offer towards petrol, no offer of a coffee and no word of thanks either. She even sent me an email the following day about something else!

Had brother, wife and 3 kids overnight while bro and wife went to wedding, so I babysat till they came home. No thanks, no box of chocs. Nothing

Am I getting old and grumpy (methinks 44 a bit young for that...) or is there another reason?

Manners cost nothing (as I keep telling ds), and sending a text takes seconds.

What is up with everyone??!!

Rant over....

I think the best way to look at it is to feel sorry for people who have been so badly brought up they can't even say thank you to someone who's done something nice or helpful for them. Then never, ever do anything to help them out again

I always say thank you and have taught my DC to do the same (inc when someone stops to let you cross a road, opens a door for you etc). I am very hot on manners.

I usually say something if someone doesn't thank me to be honest - a sarcastic "no problem" might remind them to be polite next time.

My friends always thank me for doing things - I am often organising evenings out for example. If I were you I would either say something or find new friends.

I generally find people say thank you. If they don't, a very loud. 'you're welcome' sorts it out.

I usually say a sarcastic "my pleasure" or somesuch when people ignore the door-holding etc. But I still ahve the (intensely petty overreaction) of wanting to dismember them with a rusty spoon.

YANBU - those things would annoy me too. Where I live, there seem to be the two extremes. Generally people are gracious but I do notice the opposite as well.

YANBU, sadly there are more and more people who have absolutely no manners. I have also gone out of my way to help friends and distant relatives and none of them have bothered to say thank you. Just last week one of my many cousins was desperate for a personal statement for UCAS which I quickly whipped up for her and emailed..........did she even say thank you...Nope. I find that sort of behaviour shocking

It's a southern thing

And what happened to the little wave or smile when you let someone out at a junction or let them through when you have right of way - eh? Eh?!

It's still here (mostly) whitelies, in London iTigress

I think you're right JamieLeeCurtis, still here (in the south-east) just that as I get older and grumpier it rankles when you get ignored .

Funny someone mentioned Scarborough, we've had some wonderful holidays there with the dcs, but I have never in my life experienced the same degree of rudeness on the buses anywhere else. Every single time we'd get off to leave at our stop we were mown down by a grey army behind us, pushing and shoving to get off.

I've never had birthday cards or presents from my brother since he was old enough to have to buy them himself, so I don't bother with cards for him anymore. He never even sends my mum a card on mothers day

the worst thing is his kids are being brought up the same way, never a thank you for Christmas or birthday presents. I'm not old fashioned and don't expect a hand-written thank-you letter, but last year I even saw them on boxing day and there was no thanks.

I rarely come across a lack of basic manners when out and about. No way I would manage to maintain a friendship with someone I considered rude.

I did however become completely fed-up with the lack of acknowledgement, let alone thanks, from the 8 children I used to sent presents to on their birthdays and christmas. I simply stopped doing it and just buy them gifts when I am with them, they can usually just about manage a thank you when I am there at the time! I know that SIL (mother of three of them) is a bit annoyed with my new policy but I don't give a stuff.

I find most people generally courteous, except at DD2's school.
It's strange, because all the mothers I have spoken to seem very nice and the children quite well behaved. However, at home time there is only one narrow gate to get in and out of and I don't think there has been one occasion where the flow of people has stopped to let me in. They see me standing there for ages but all keep filing past as though they somehow have right of way and not one of them ever says 'thank you' to me for standing there and letting them through. I could just barge my way in, but that would be rude, wouldn't it?

Oh SeaTrek - I'm with you on that one. Only my sister's boys and one pair of sibling nieces ever thank me for gifts. I choose them carefully, wrap, pack and send them overseas and never even get acknowledgement that they arrived. At one point, my BIL was telephoning around, telling us not to forget his DD's birthday next week when a. Nobody has ever forgotten his DD's birthday, b. Nobody has ever been thanked for his DD's birthday presents and c. He rarely even sends a card to any of our DCs on their birthdays!
I think it's just an intrinsically selfish gene, causing poor manners.

Other way round for me, I'm consistently surprised and grateful at how courteous and helpful people are, in general. Sometimes the thoughtful things strangers will do are really lovely - e.g. the customer who came over to help and packed my bags for me in the supermarket this week because I had a crying baby plus a toddler and was struggling. Got a big heartfelt 'thank you' from me!

I always acknowledge people if they have helped me or let me past with the buggy.
However, people often do not thank me if I do the same, particulary pensioners!
My theory is that they have spent all their working life being polite to people and now they have earned the right to be as rude as they like!:o

I say thank you a lot to random strangers and if someone's done something for me, but i am not very good at texting after I've been to dinner to say thanks- is it not enough to say thank you at the time? i just have too many things to do to remember to send a formal written 'thank you' afterwards, and I don't expect it from people either. And i never expect to receive written thank you cards etc for christmas/ b'day presents so I don't send them. i say thanks when they're given. i apologise to the world at large if I appear rude because of it.

When people don't say thank you and I think they should have, I say "You're most welcome."

I also acknowledge thanks never given by other drivers when I have given way. In exaggerated hand-up-head-nod fashion.

I suspect one day I will get thumped.

YRNBU - manners cost nothing

Its very ignorant not to show manners & common courtesy

IMHO

as a teacher, I and colleagues often make a bit of a game of seeing how many kids (and / or parents) say thanks at the end of a trip. Astonishing how many dont, even when it has been residential which means you are on duty 24 hrs for however long the trip is and have managed to bring back all the kids mostly in one piece (sometimes not if its a ski trip!)having had a educational / valuable / fun experience. The worst eg I ever saw was when returning from a 3 night overseas educational trip the coach parked up blocking the entrance / exit of the school car park so that we could unload the bags without them getting soaking wet. The first kid who grabbed his bag jumped in dad's car and dad then proceeded to hurl abuse at the coach driver and teachers because he had to wait unitl everyone else's bags were offloaded before he could leave.

I think it's because the generation who grew up during the 80s were taught the "me" culture so manners and consideration fell by the wayside.

Unfortunately it's that generation who are now parents and are teaching their kids likewise.

Is it just me who keeps reading this in the Discussions of the Day section as "MN'ers dying out"?

I am a stickler for saying thankyou and i have brought Wilf up to be the same. Since he was 11 years old he has been taught that when we are on the Tube he stands up and offers his seat to others. He also holds doors open for people. If i hold the door open or step out of my way to let people past and they dont say "thankyou" I always say "THANKYOU!" very loudly within their earshot!!

Going against the grain but I dont get this thing that you have to send someone a text or card to thank them for dinner - saying thanks and making it obvious you enjoyed it should be enough. Most of my friends don't text thanks afterwards and tbh the one I know who does., I find excessive.