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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be irritated by Mil dressing DD2 in DD1's clothes

65 replies

Fluffymonster · 29/11/2010 20:11

I know it's another Mil moan, sorry - but for heavens sake, DD2 is 20months, and DD1 is 3.5.

I was away yesterday and DP went to pick them up from his parents, who had been looking after them. The kids usually have tea there before coming home, and MIL gets them changed into their pyjamas for the car journey home, as they fall asleep there, and then by the time they get in, it's straight to bed.

So coming home today I find DD1's age 3-4 pj's strewn in DD2's cot. DP said that was indeed what she came home in. DD1 has also, at other times, been dressed in her pj's to go out, and put in daywear for sleeping in. Basically I'm thinking of putting labels on everything, but is that petty?

OP posts:

ProfYaffle · 29/11/2010 21:10

My dc are 6 and 3.5.

Dh gets their clothes mixed up.

They get their clothes mixed up.

I get their clothes mixed up.

I found dd1's pants in my underwear drawer the other day.

It's a great source of amusement to all of us. Maybe we should get out more

tethersjinglebellend · 29/11/2010 21:18

When my brother was born, my Dad took my doll's clothes to the hospital.

YABU

ItsGrimUpNorth · 29/11/2010 21:23

Why does it matter?

Did she give them bad food? Did she tell them she is their mother, not you? Did she try to breastfeed them? No. She made a simple error with clothes.

It's really not a problem. They're alive and well.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 29/11/2010 21:24

Tethers, that's hilarious! Doll's clothes to the hospital. Brilliant. Did they fit though?

mumeeee · 29/11/2010 21:27

YANU. It's on;y pyjamas and I have put the wron clothes on my girls when they were little,

Hulababy · 29/11/2010 21:31

I think yabu and a bit ott about it. It's PJs - does it matter, really?

DH is forever mixing up mine and 8y DD's underwear and tights and putting them int he wrong drawers. the amount of times I have found myself pulling on a pair of opaques and ondering why they only pull up half way past my knees.... lol.

SixtyFootDoll · 29/11/2010 21:40

YABU. DS1 came home from school once complaining of having had a 'wedgie' all day
He'd spent all day in his younger brothers trousers. Be grateful thst you hsve such a helpful MIL

SixtyFootDoll · 29/11/2010 21:40

YABU. DS1 came home from school once complaining of having had a 'wedgie' all day
He'd spent all day in his younger brothers trousers. Be grateful thst you hsve such a helpful MIL

tethersjinglebellend · 29/11/2010 21:42

They did not fit. My mother was not pleased.

usualsuspect · 29/11/2010 21:42

lol @ tethers ..my dp used to put my dds clothes on back to front all the time ...

Coralanne · 29/11/2010 21:51

My DGD and DGS are petty much the same size(2 years difference in age)

DGS unexpectedly stayed over one night and I put a pair of his DSs pink satin Dora the Explorer pyjamas on him.

He looked a bit perplexed at first but after a while I noticed him lying on the bed with his feet up the wall crossed at the ankles and gently rubbing his hand up and down his leg.

His comment "I love the feel of these pyjamas Grandma"

usualsuspect · 29/11/2010 21:52

at Coralannes DGS

prizeelliott · 29/11/2010 21:54

It is easy to sweat the little stuff I know... but my mother in law would rather eat her own shit than spend any quality time with our kids let alone look after them....until after tea....having got them ready for bed!!! You may not always see eye to eye but think you should appreciate that she is trying xxxx ps don't blame you for having a moan though!!! xx

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 29/11/2010 22:02

Oh for goodness sake, get a grip, when you have that GROW UP.

Coralanne · 29/11/2010 22:20

usualsuspect, It's the little things like that I love about DGC.

He was four at the time (now five) and so placid ahd georgeous.

You know what though!! It's his paents who have made him like that and I just reap the benefits.

Coralanne · 29/11/2010 22:23

make that parents

orangepoo · 29/11/2010 22:25

It may be that your MIL doesn't mind about this sort of thing. I have a kids with a similar age gap to you and there are some clothes which both of them wear. Perhaps your MIL is like this? I would have thought that as long as the child in the clothes is not uncomfortable due to something being really tight/hanging off, I would have no problem. If you sew labels into their PJs, you are going to make yourself look a little demented! And if your MIL has the same attitude as me, she won't are which child wears which clothes anyway.

LarissaFeodorovna · 29/11/2010 22:36

The other day I had to break up a fight argument between my 11 yo ds and my 8yo dd about ownership of a particularly ragged T-shirt featuring the logo of a local motorcycle shop. Both swore it belonged to them and actually both of them had worn it fairly recently. On closer examination the age label in the T-shirt turned out to say:

Age 3-4 years.

And when I picked up my 8yo from school PE the other day the teacher said she'd had to keep telling her to pull down the legs on her tracksuit bottoms and stop messing about rolling them up, and could i please have a word with her. On closer inspection... Yup, you guessed it. The trackie bottoms were age 5, and just about reached her knees when they were pulled down. Poor, innocent child, told off by the teacher for her mother's failings. [snurk]

Original poster

Fluffymonster · 29/11/2010 22:42

I understand what everyone is saying about it not mattering in the great scheme of things. I know it's hardly a crime or a life-threatening issue.

My thinking is; it seems such a simple thing to check the label to see what ages the clothes are for.

Besides, age 3-4 trousers on a 20mth old baby is really obviously long - they'd trip over themselves as soon as they tried to walk.

If I was given a couple of outfits to dress someone else's differently-aged children in, I would look on the labels to work out which was which - that's all.

You wouldn't just pull anything off the rack in a shop before buying for yourself, you'd check it was the right size. So what's the difficulty in taking it out from the suitcase - it's not like searching through a haystack - the clues is right there on the label. It's a due care and attention thing.

It seems a bit disrespectful to just plonk them (the kids) in anything just because they can't do it for themselves.

I just don't get it...

But yes, there are more important things, and I'm lucky to have IL's that help out at all. Except I find it irritating. I can't help it!

[puts uptight control freakery/OCD tendencies back in the box]

OP posts:

Original poster

Fluffymonster · 29/11/2010 22:51

ApocalyseCheeseToastie

Look - people get irritated by different things. Perhaps my OP irritated YOU. It's not a mortal sin to do stuff that irritates - or to be irritated!!!

I've already said I know IABU.

OP posts:

LarissaFeodorovna · 29/11/2010 22:55

She's your MIL. It's her job to annoy you.

When dd1 was 3 my MIL took it upon herself to get dd1's hair cut into a completely different style without consulting me. That I did get cross about. Clothes, notsomuch.

Get your own back by sending your dc over in clothes you know your MIL disapproves of. I used to quite enjoy watching MIL try not to twitch when my then 2 year old ds was going through a phase of wanting to dress in his older sister's outgrown Barbie t-shirts, accessorised with pink nailvarnish.

Mwahahahah

Original poster

Fluffymonster · 29/11/2010 23:32

Hulababy - it's not just a one-off thing with PJ's. There's been occasions where DD1 was taken out and about all day dressed in a pair of In the Night Garden pyjamas, and another time when DD2 wasn't put in any nightwear at all the entire stay. I roll my eyes at that - but also get how it happens more, because she just probably finds it really difficult to tell daywear from nightwear.

One time she put DD1 in thick woolly tights underneath a pair of jeans, when it was a blazing hot day (people walking around in shorts and t-shirts).

Thinking it over, probably something in the background to this latest wrong-sized pj issue, is that it makes me wonder about other things.

DD1 has asthma and has been hospitalized with it in recent months. She used to just be given a Ventolin inhaler for use during attacks, but recently also been prescribed a Clenil inhaler, for the prevention of attacks, which she is supposed to have regularly morning and night. So anyway, I showed MIL the two inhalers and explained to her the different uses - Ventolin for only during an attack, and the Clenil regulary morning and night, to prevent. I also wrote it on the inhalers themselves. (Yes, control freakery maybe, but bear with me). Even while I was showing her and explaining, she interrupted me twice, to 'clarify' that the Ventolin was to be given morning and night - so I had to correct her twice as she wasn't listening, or looking at the dosage instructions on the labels stuck to them. In the end she said she understood.

Now it makes me wonder, iykwim. Like I said, it's a due care and attention thing.

Probably the irritation is masking a bit of a worry over the possibility that she doesn't follow medication intructions either.

OP posts:

Coralanne · 29/11/2010 23:38

Fluffymonster cut your MIL a bit of slack.
Maybe she was a bit frazzled when she was bathing, dressing them (by the way I agree with you, I don't really know how she mixed them up)

I'm a pretty young Grandma but when I have the 4 DGC at the same time it's like a production line and I'm lucky to have miss 7 to tell me that the clothes i've put on miss almost 3 actually belong to miss 18 months..

There is only one boy so I'am lucky there. Come February there will be another boy.

Don't know if I will be able to handle all five at the same time.

WhyHavePets · 29/11/2010 23:45

Ok, it is christmas so the perfect time to rectify this. Buy them each a personalised rucksack for christmas to use for sleepovers etc. Invest in a lovely set of personalised PJs and some slippers or something to make it special. Then pack their bags each day with their own clothes. That way there will be less excuse to have this problem and it should be easier for your MIL to sort out. No-one can be offended as it is such a lovely gift for a child and they will be thrilled to have their own bags to take around.

end of problem - hopefully and if it is not you know she is just being obtuse!

Morloth · 30/11/2010 03:28

DH and DS1 wear the same brand boxers, I am forever putting them in the wrong drawers, DS2 is now wearing DS1's old clothes and I get mixed up a lot as some of the stretchier stuff will still fit him in a pinch.

It doesn't matter even the tiniest skerrick of a bit and I think YABU to care at all.

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