i can't bring myself to leave ds with anyone

[biliouspoo]

how unreasonable unusual is it to have a 6 month old baby you've never let out of your sight?

that's not quite true, i've been away for up to an hour before, but that's all.

if i use a baby sitter suddenly now won't the poor boy be desolate and get a bad case of separation anxiety?

would it help much if I wait until he's ten months? I've heard that babies are particularly susceptible to suffering from maternal deprivation between 6 and 9 months. Is there anything in it?

I think one of your previous answers sums it up - you says that after an hour (when your dh is looking after him), he cries for you.

You ds will cry for a variety of reasons, too hot, too cold, uncomfortable, bored, tired, hungry/thirsty... It seems that the easiest answer for your dh is to assume that the restlessness or crying is due to hunger/thirst and to bring him to you. It is then easy for you to assume that he needs YOU, and that if you can settle him, then perhaps he was missing you. Another loving adult could equally well provide your ds with many of the things that would meet his needs and comfort him.

I think your feelings are perfectly natural. Babies do get unsettled and cry and (please don't think I'm judging anyone here)sometimes it can be a case of how well the carer at the time is prepared to deal with it. I know my husband would panic and say how much our son needed to be with me. In hindsight I can see that yes, he did need and want me but it wasn't the end of the world if I wasn't there straight away. Babies are very immediate with their emotions and crises pass. What matters most is how things are happening over time. If your son builds up the security of knowing that you always come back that will help. It is really hard leaving them I know because that's exactly how I felt but routine and lots of loving affection (and being cared for by people who are caring towards them) help babies adjust. I think maybe seperation anxiety results more from unexpected or irregular behaviour and maybe the result of not being cared for properly during parent's absense. Take it slow and easy. If you don't start work for another six months that's quite a long time; try not to worry too much :)

I think it's not unusual - they still feed a lot at 6 months. I don't think I'd left DD at that age.

I didnt leave my babies until I was ready too. My children so up to me! They are well adjusted school children now and we havent suffered!

DH used to bring DS to me for feeding at every whimper when he was small, it's an annoying thing they do but not a hanging offense - the answer is to leave the house! Make sure the baby is fed and leave some EBM if you can and just go out and leave them to it.

can't find your thread thesecondcoming

My first didn't like being held by other people, even as a tiny baby and there was one awful visit when she was about 5 months old when the in-law came from abroad, and they didn't manage to get one cuddle where she didn't cry for me. I despaired of getting her to be less clingy, she also didn't like parties, being held by others, and would go to my mum or husband a bit, but always preferred family members. Then she skipped off to preschool aged three, and was absolutely fine. My second was not cling as a baby and was happy to go to anyone (she did get separation anxiety later on).

I don't think you are being precious, there's lots of reasons why babies tend to prefer one or two main carers at this age and asking about if this is normal seems very sensible to me.

DS is 7 months and i'm clingier to him than he is to me!

I leave him occasionally to spend time with DH, he is either with my mum, MIL or SIL.

I find that while we are in the car to and from where we are going I am really anxious, but once we are there I am fine.

To start with I wouldn't be more than 5 mins away from him, but now I will go 20 mins away, but not the cinema so that I can get back easily.

I'm probably a touch PFB. (But he is ebf and I don't express now that he is on solids)

tsc, yes you did - thanks

but your dh is much better than mine. At least mine can't cook, clean or shop. He will fetch chocolate if asked though. And sing.

He can't cook, clean or shop? Or look after the baby? Lazy rather than incapable I assume.

It is very handy if he can't cook etc! Not only would I leave him with the baby, but I would get him doing the rest. It sounds as if you are letting him be the extra DC!

Yeah, it wasn't so much of a big deal when we were both working full time, we'd eat during the day and not do meals at home apart from at weekends. I actually like cooking and he couldn't be less interested in it, so i've always been happy that he just eats nearly anything I cook. Now there's three of us though and I'm at home a lot there's a lot more cooking going on.

Wouldn't really call him lazy - he's just not a very practical sort of person.