ok,not their grandad (that name is reserved for someone special)although he is my father.
my parents divorced when i was 9 and my father fucked off to spain and never saw us again.
my mother then married an abusive alcoholic (she was on the rebound and he hid it well,had his own business,seemed handsome/charming etc)
we were all miserable until she finally divorced him.
so,all in all,my db and i had a pretty miserable childhood.
we both have our ishoos.
my mum met a lovely guy when i was in my late teens,and my kids call him grandad.
my eldest dd,who is a very perceptive 4 year old,asked me yesterday who my daddy was.
i have to say my heart dropped.i still find it hard to talk about.
people who know me know this and don't mention him.
i don't want to tell her that he went away.she is really sensitive and may worry that my dh could do this to her.
would it be better to tell her he was dead? (i wish he were,then i wouldn't have to lie)