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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to be cross at given 6 days notice to be "glam" 5 weeks after birth?

43 replies

Towanmummies · 28/11/2010 22:09

ok, meal next friday planned with DP's 5 female ex-workmates, who i love dearly and who have happily accepted me as one of the gang that DP has been in for ages. all good.
text from one of them last night- "btw, we've decided to go glamorous and dress up, because we don't get the chance very often."
FFS this woman had a baby earlier this year- does she not realise that 5 weeks after DS1andonly my tummy wobbles and my previously 36B has turned into 36E making almost all of my clothes unwearable?? DP is so cross and protective it's sweet. but really- are we being unreasonable??

OP posts:
BelligerentGhoul · 28/11/2010 22:11

YABU. Just put some nice lipstick on. Nobody will notice your tummy because they'll all be worrying about their own.

LoopyLoops · 28/11/2010 22:11

Explain to them. They won't have thought about it.

redflag · 28/11/2010 22:13

I was forced to go to a hen night 3 weeks after the birth of my baby, and i actually looked better than the others, made more of an effort.

Just relax and have a nice time, you will forget how knacked you are once your eyelashes are stuck on x

Meglet · 28/11/2010 22:13

yanbu.

Go in your pj's Grin.

stickersarecurrency · 28/11/2010 22:13

YABU. They won't have thought to dress down to accommodate your wobbly bits. And at least they thought to warn you. Jeans, heels, sparkly top and some glitzy jewellery would be my take on this.

HairyMclary1979 · 28/11/2010 22:14

get a nice top, you can pick these up in charity shops if money is tight, to flaunt those puppies of yours get the right style and hey presto you dont have to worry about you wobbly tummy. make the most of it and have a night off from being mummy, you'll feel better for it.

Dansmommy · 28/11/2010 22:14

Well, what were you going to wear? I think you're panicing a bit unnecessarily, tbh. I'm 6 months post baby and my tummy wobbles! Get some magic knickers and get on with it.

Original poster
Towanmummies · 28/11/2010 22:14

3 of them are mummies- 2 had babies THIS YEAR... they should SO have thought of it. grrr. DP is thinking of going in her jammies covered in baby sick and sets of luggage under her eyes..... to make a point.

OP posts:
SevenAgainstThebes · 28/11/2010 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 28/11/2010 22:17

I think it's nice that they warned you. It would be a bit U to expect them not to get all glammed up, on the grounds that you have had a baby and don't feel you will be up to it.

igetmorelovefromthecat · 28/11/2010 22:18

Count yourself lucky you are getting a night out! My DD2 is just over 4 months and there's not a chance I am going anywhere, she is far too demanding!

Just get a loose flowy top that flaunts your boobs and hides your tummy, and enjoy yourself!

psychomum5 · 28/11/2010 22:18

but why can;t you be glam?? 5wks after a baby you won;t be expected to be thin and glam, but it is noce to dress up. and surely it is a chance for a new pretty top/outfit you make you feel fab and sexy again and like you a bit rather than just 'mummy'.

I am sure that is how they meant it.

enjoy, have fun, and go treat yourself. :o

HairyMclary1979 · 28/11/2010 22:19

dont forget it's their xmas get together as well and they deserve to dress nice if they wish, like an op has said at least they have warned you

Hassledge · 28/11/2010 22:19

Yes, if they fancy tarting themselves up for a night you can't expect them not to because you've had a baby. Just focus on the make-up, and heels if you can do heels - a load of lippy, etc., and no one will notice what else is going on.

redflag · 28/11/2010 22:19

Towanmmies, I think you are being a bit excitable, they probably think glaming up will do your ego good, and it will, it did with me anyway.

We went to a strip club full of women and it was excellent to see everyone dressed up to the max. (very funny considering our hen was marrying a woman, but she loves blokes too)

It made me feel like a woman again for five Min's, rather than a baby feeding machine.

ladyfirenze · 28/11/2010 22:20

life doesn't stop because you've had a baby! can't you order a frock online and get it delivered in 48 hours? On the day of the meal go back to bed in the morning with dc, then rise for a light lunch, omelette or something, and spend the afternoon bathing, blow drying hair, faffing about with eyebrows, nails etc, then come evening, get dc ready for bed and into whatever you're taking to restaurant, and you can put some slap on and don your frock! enjoy Grin

redflag · 28/11/2010 22:21

I mean full of hens, and the strippers were boys ha ha ha sorry its been a long day

zipzap · 28/11/2010 22:22

Wear whatever you were going to wear, put on some bright lippy and jolly nail varnish. If you feel up to it and happen to be out at the supermarket you can get a tacky festive brooch or reindeer antlers or santa hat or whatever so that you are making a nod towards being festive.

If anybody says anything, point out that you ARE glammed up - you have on make up, no babysick or baby poo on you and you are awake wearing clothes rather than pjs &dressing gown...

Sorted Grin

Original poster
Towanmummies · 28/11/2010 22:25

hmm, maybe i am being oversensitive. normally i am much happier in blokey clothes, can't fit into any of my pre-preg jeans but mat ones now too big...am still adjusting to the boobs issue i think.

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 28/11/2010 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onmyfeet · 28/11/2010 22:27

I don't think they were bu. Besides, you can always decline going on the grounds that you don't have anything glam and do not want to buy anything new. What were you planning on wearing before? Could you buy a comfortable outfit that you can also wear over Christmas season? Assuming you will be nursing for a while, you will get some use out of it.
Or maybe you can glam up something you already have? Any dressy maternity clothes that you don't mind re styling? Or perhaps you can borrow something from someone else to wear?

narkypuffin · 28/11/2010 22:27

If you have the cash, get a new bra and a sparkly tunic type dress/top. Wear with spanx type high waist pants to hold all in and leggings. Add lipstick.

It's not ideal timing but I'd take it as an opportunity to enjoy a break and not worry too much. There are bound to be people there who've never given birth and have bigger arses and wobblier bits. You'll be fine.

Firawla · 28/11/2010 22:38

i dont think they are bu, you are saying that bc they have had dc this year they should understand you dont want to dress up but probably its bc they have had dc earlier this year they dont get many chances to go out and dress up so they wanna take that opertunity, so they are probably thinking you would understand that too as you're all in a similar situation. im sure you can find something, and will look nice, dont have to go ott just as much as you feel comfortable. and at least you did have the notice, rather than telling this the day before. i wouldnt worry just try to go with it and enjoy urself

NeverEatYellowTaintedSnow · 28/11/2010 22:40

I think YABU, but I do understand why. Spanx style pants are your friend for this one!

amijee · 28/11/2010 22:46

YABU.

The way you feel is all in the mind - your hair will be thick, your skin glowing and you will still have all those lovely postnatal hormones making you look gorgeous.

I look back on pics of myself at 2 weeks post natal and I wish I could look like that again.

I have now had nearly 6 mths of sleep deprivation so I have designer bags under the eyes!!

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