to be pissed off with the school

[welshbyrd]

My DD is 12. Always on time for school.

However, yesterday, due to the icy conditions, she arrived at 9am instead of 8.50am.

I had an car accident 4 weeks ago, and since have become a very nervous driver, hence her being late,

I received a letter this morning, from her school saying that as she was late yesterday, she had done a 10min lunchtime detention for arrivng late to school that morning

Im tamping, if she was late regular id understand, but she is never late, the weather was far from ideal, and the fact im still trying to get my driving confidence back,

The letter states, please speak to your daughter regarding this issue. Please contact such and such a person should i wish to discuss the matter further.

The problem is, i don want to discuss it further, as im really upset about it, however, not matter how much we discuss it, the fact she has already done the detention, means even if they do see that this is a one off, and usual circumstances, beyond her control,they cant stop or undo the punishment because she has already done it

AIBU to think they should have discc=ussed it with me first, before discipling her?

I don't see how they can have a blanket policy.What about kids who come in on school transport? We live in a rural area and they travel in on a coach hired by the LEA which is quite often late.I would be furious if thet were punished for it.

They can't undo the ten minutes of lunch break she was sat in the room, no. But I doubt she's traumatised for life by it. Honestly, schools do not have the time and resources to call every parent' of every pupil who is late just to talk through each individual circumstance. As others have suggested, write a quick note in the planner and sign it. Sorted.

Re: pupils travelling by school transport: there is a specific code on the electronic register system in most schools for the situation where the transport is late, so it wouldn't be the case that pupils would get sanctions

They dont get sanctions violet, its a lovely school. But they do get a late mark which upsets some of the children. Would definately upset my DS. Seems very unfair to me.

Im not sure if the late rule applies to bus driven pupils, Im pretty sure it does not apply, that makes it worse i think, my DD can not walk to school its to far, so like all the pupils that catch the bus, them arriving on time, is the responsibility of the driver, whether it be mums car, or school bus

Tummygoingslowly- I have been feeling much calmer about it over the weekend, however, reading some comments, regarding "I am quite shocked that some of you parents are 'really upset''raging' and calling teachers 'shit' and school rules 'petty and stupid'", has enraged me more. I dont intend on making a screaming phone call to the school,or intend on calling her school shit, or anything else as stated on one of my previous post, i will write a polite note in DD diary,I think I feel more upset that this was my DD ever detention,had she have been misbehaving I would stand by teaching staff, but her 1st detention for something beyond her control, i feel is a tad OTT

This HAS upset my daughter, she is in her second year, and this was her first ever detention which was my fault

thefirstMrsDeVere - the school registers are a really important document. They HAVE to be accurate, in case of emergency.
Our staff (and I assume all teachers) are instructed NEVER to mark a pupil present unless they are actually physically there in the classroom at registration.

The code on SIMS (which many schools use for registering) is specific for various types of lateness - therefore a pupil who is late due to school transport being delayed will be coded differently to a pupil who is late for other reasons.

Sorry if some pupils find it upsetting to get a late mark, but tbh, pupil safety and knowing who exactly is on the premises at a specific time is far more important

Fair enough violet. That makes sense but surely it should be given a differen 'mark' on those end of year reports. I dont know if they are the same in all boroughs but in ours you get a different symbols for different things.

i.e. a stroke for an unauthorised absence, a star for sickness etc.

A lateness for a transport issue should look different from other types of lateness IYSWIM.

I know its a small thing I truly I dont think its the end of the world but for kids with SNs these things can be very important.

Actually I believe most of the codes are national, so should be the same across all authorities.
Unauthorised absence is 0
Sickness is I
Medical appointment is M
Traveller absence is T

etc
I don't know specifically whether the late school transport code is a national one. I can see that it could be upsetting for SN children if they felt they'd done something wrong - I guess in this situation, if there are frequent issues with transport it would be a case of speaking to the school, as it's not fair on the children to be missing a lot of registrations

I think there's a lot of common sense missing here. It seems that the main reason for lateness was the weather. Well, even if you factor that in, and leave a bit earlier, it's quitie possible to underestimate the amoutn of extra time it would take, even if you HAD left earlier than usual. So you'd still be late.

At my school, when the weather is severe enough to cause general disruption, it's expected that everyone is in the same boat, including the teachers, and so it's EXPECTED that disruption is going to be caused all round. It would be expected that some pupils would be late. They MIGHT get a late mark for that day, but common sense would dictate that if numerous pupils across the school (who are otherwise usually on time) were late because of the weather then it would be stupid to put them all on detention without taking the unusual circumstances into account. It just would not make sense.

OP, if 99% of other pupils in the school got there on time DESPITE the bad weather, then in my view, the weather was not severe enough to warrant a relaxing of the usual rules for lateness.

So I suppose it would depend how many other pupils had been unavoidably late on that day as to whether I'd actually feel aggrieved enough to take it up with the school.

In fact, rereading your OP, it seems that your nervousness about driving was quite a bit factor in your daughter's lateness and it's the fact that you feel guilty over that that is causing you to be upset. As it's likely that you might be nervous driving in bad weather again and the same thing might happen I do think it's worth a little note to school to make them aware of the situation in case she is late for this reason in future. They MIGHT be a bit more lenient if it happened again, or they might just explain that rules are rules and policy is that they stick to them whatever the individual circumstances, in which case you explain that to your daughter and tell her not to worry if she gets a lunchtime detention and that it's just one of those hoops that you sometime have to jump through in school life!!

YANBU but unfortunately this is life - at least they care enough some wouldn't bother or notice. Sometimes you feel you should lie and say they had a doctors appointment or something!

Leaving early doesn't always garantee a prompt arrival at school - although it is important to get there on time. I don't understand why the form teacher didn't take on board the reason for the lateness and deal with it more appropriatly. A phone call home or standard letter without detention would have been enough. If she is late due to bad weather conditions again - write a note and send it in with her. State why she is late and that you think it's not appropriate for her to be given a detention given the weather conditions.

Curly - not everyone has an easy drive to school. While lots of people may live close to a school and can safley access it on gritted roads, some kids live in more rural/hilly non gritted areas you know!

Funny how schools do not have the resources to ask a child why they were late but they do have the resources (and money)to send an individual letter to each offenders parent on presumably each and every occasion . Goodness knows how much their postage bill must be every year and what alternatives that money could be spent on!

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think considering the weather conditions the school should be understanding. It is more important for a child to be 10 mins late but arrive in one piece than have been involved in an accident.

Even if you leave early and as the OP said there was no warning that the weather would be so bad, it is still not always possible to be on time. Would it have been better for the OP's dd not to have gone to school at all - I think not.

Updating - spoke to school this morning on the telephone, they were so apologetic , explained about accident. Lady was lovely on phone,I asked them to just bear with us in this weather, that I will leave an early as possible,road dependant she will be on time. DD did stun me this morning before school when she said he first lesson RE teacher on friday was late,, bad weather too, did not want to be cheeky and ask on phone if teacher had detention too

she said her first lesson, RE.

Gosh, spelling is terrible, waking up 30mins before normal, to get lovely children to school on time, is taking its toll

bet she has a planner or homework diary or something - why didn't you write a note in that? Think YABU - if you were going to work and nervous about driving you'd leave early - why not do the same for school. Sorry you're not enjoying the weather though - the driving is rubbish at the mo. Don't want to sound unsympathetic but...

I haven't read the thread, but LOVE the OP's use of "tamping", only heard the Welsh version before :)

Glad you've had a word with the school and hope you and DD are feeling a bit better about it now.

I'd have been tempted to ask about the teachers detention though

I would have asked about the teachers detention