to be getting a bit fed up with comments about how 'different' my dc3 looks?

[LetThemEatCake]

dark haired family, dc3 is randomly blonde

although not so random really as dh was also blonde until 6.

getting bored of people saying "OMG!! he's so blonde!!" But no big deal, just boring.

But twice in last week - "he doesn't look like he should be yours" from one and "are you sure he's yours?" from another. Which, stupidly, panged and rankled.

thumb please can I have a genetics made easy lesson??
None of us have blue eyes- me Dh dds1 and 2 or our parents but dd3 has still got blue eyes at 4 months.

Can they still change colour now or is it genetically possible that she could have blue eyes?

(she's def dh s though the postman is rather lovely..)
By the way op yanbu but it's just one of those daft things people can't help themselves saying like all the random rubbish about 'are you trying for a boy/girl' when you re pg when really how do you 'try' for one or the other??

I find the best way to deal with such is a straight out challenge.

Look them right in the eye and say "What are you implying?" or "What do you mean by that?" or "What are you trying to say to me?"

If nothing else, it's fun to watch them blush and stutter

girlsyearapart

Yes it is possible for brown eyed parents to have a blue eyed child.

In simple terms, if someone has two brown alleles, they will have brown eyes.
One blue, one brown allele, they will have brown eyes.
You need two blue for blue eyes.

But both parents with brown eyes could pass on a blue allele, giving blue eyes.

OP-I wouldn´t bother too much tbh.

Just one of those things that people say I think without any meaning behind it.

'Why do you want to know?' will also do the trick nicely.

Ithink that i can beat all of you!My 4ds are different colours and dh and I are parents to them all.I am mixed race with brown skinand hubby is white.Ds 1,3 and 4 are white with blue eyes,and dd2 is darker than me.Ds 3 has skin that is very pale. Ds 4 had blonde curly hair when small.People are thrown as dark skinned ds is second child followed by more white ones,and you can actually see people staring from child to child and us trying to work it out.Supermarket queues and waiting to get on trains\ zoo trips ect are unbelievable.Italy last year was horrendous!If i go out with dh and boys we look like i am a girlfriend out with dh on an access visit! I dont get offended as it is unusual.I joke that i always did like being awkward.Dd gets upset though when people stare.

I tend to deal with irritating comments with irritatingly foolish answers.
They often don't like their inanities being teased.

Cousin used to say that her DS2 was found under a red cabbage.

I get the same as my DD looks nothing like me. My DH gets "You can't deny her"
Also frequently mistaken for a boy as I don't dress her in head to toe pink.
People are just daft!

Isn;t this just small talk?

We get comments on the dc blondeness/looking alike/looking/not looking like me all the time. It doesn't really mean anything. Just smile and nod.

People take offence at such trivial things-it is merely small talk! People look for a comment to say-makes a change from the weather!

When DD1 was small i had a man say to me "is she yours" me "yes" he then proceeded to say " she cant be shes blond" [umm]. I am very dark and DD1 is light brown NOT blond.

DD2 6 months looks just like her Dad and yesterday someone said to me " she must look like her dad coz she doesnt look anything like you".

Tbh when i am out with my DDs you would think either of them are mine.

Ds is a redhead and neither dh nor I are. I've dyed my hair red intermittently for years so I frequently get comments that he gets the red from me. When dd2 was born in may she came out red as well. Ds who's 12's first comment was the milkman from Cornwall (where we lived when he was born - we now live in ireland) must have followed us here.

Im always amazed at how easily offended some people on here are. People are just making conversation. In reality they probably don't give a fig what colour hair your rugrat has, they are just finding something to say.

Honestly, i cant remember ever being offended by an off the cuff remark from someone. Perhaps i am a glass half full type of person who always looks onthe positive side of things.

Someone even got upset about people talking about the weather!
Reading MN leaves me hardly daring to make any remark to a stranger! I agree with Geepers-they don't actually give a fig! They are making conversation-I don't know how people have the time to analyse off the cuff comments.

Yes you must be.

Even the paediatrician made comments about DS1. His exact words, "don't you think he looks odd? Not like other little boys?"

I was quite put out. He looks fine, just a bit white

Comments are constant though, and most are positive, I am a natural blonde but dye my hair dark brown which puzzles the easily confused. Lots of "but how can they be yours?"

Both my sister and I who have mediterranean dark eyes and hair, both ended up with blond blue eyed babies.
Both her dd are blue eyed like their dad but one of the girls has dark hair, the other one has got darker as she got older.

My DD has got a lot darker, but her is still lighter than the rest of the family as DH has black hair although with blue eyes.

DS has inherited the greek cypriot clolouring and his hair is exactly like mine with dark brown eyes.

DD used to get a bit upset when she was little because she did't have dark hair like the rest of us but she seems okay now

I did used to get a few comments on how much they looked alike even though they had very different colouring, but now they have lost childhood facial chubbiness the only way they look alike is the shape of their eyes.

I had all of this stuff said about me as a child and even now as an adult i still get it.
My mum, dad and brother are right handed, have dark brown hair, darkish skin and dark brown eyes and i have blonde hair, pale skin and very very blue eyes and am left handed.

It used to get to me but then as i got older i liked being different especially as everyone for as long as i remember has commented on how gorgeous my big blue eyes are :-)

I'm not bothered because it is totally bloody obvious two women can't both look like their child, but I think it must be very hurtful to parents who have adopted or fostered a child, or who have had a baby through IVF/donor eggs or AI etc.
Or dads who for whatever reason are not the biological father of the child.
Best way is have a smart comeback for those ignorant enough to comment.

Nosied on your pictures and flippin heck, he's adorable!!!

As you where :o

Genes are wonderful things, aren't they?

I think it's just people commenting on how blonde he is rather than specifically being shocked that he is different to the others.
I've got 2 blonde ones (I'm dark!) and my youngest is very blonde. His hair is pretty much White. I always get 'oh wow he's so blobde' from everyone even though he looks just like his brother and dad.
I think people just think it's cute and like to comment on it

Each of my dc have a feature that makes them very different either from the rest of the family or from their peers. Yes people do comment, sometimes even making incorrect assumptions about my dcs' parentage.

TBH I don't care! My dc are beautiful, unique individuals, and the features that people comment on are part of their beauty. I'm perfectly happy for this to be noticed. (I suppose I might feel different if the feAtures were disabilities or deformities.)

And when people make the assumptions about parentage, well I just find it funny.

How do you think I felt.......as soon as I came round from the anaesthetic after ds2s birth the obstetrician was stood there and said in a broad scottish accent ' do both of your sons have the same parentage?'.......to which in hysteria screeched to Dh 'is he a black baby?' ......there was a HUSH in the room and lots of looks.

Fortunately dh understood my panic I dont know my true father and there is a possibility he was afro carribean........

Even now with 3 ds they all look vvv different.

People have asked me if they have the same Daddy (they do) but generally I just say 'dunno Im shag happy - you know me' that shuts 'em up.

We get this a lot! DD is mixed race and looks precisely like DH in every way apart from having the exact same shade of blonde hair as me.

A woman on the bus once told me, after enquiring about the origin of DD's name 'but I thought them people always had to be a bit darkie, you know'. The rest of the bus, to whom it was obvious that DH was the man holding her, went absolutely silent...