to think that it can be easier to raise a family in a

[darleneconnor]

small flat than a large house?

Inspired by a few threads kicking about at the moment.

To put it in context, 4 of us live in a 2-bed 1st floor Victorian flat. We have 3 big rooms, a tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom, small hall with a huge hall cupboard.

Because it's small it's cheap so we have enough disposable income despite me not earning just now. Our fuel bills are only £50pcm. It doesn't take long to clean/tidy. With no stairs we aren't forever taking things up and down and didn't need a stairgate. Or a playpen, or a monitor.

I used to to feel guilty think that the DCs were missing out, not having a garden or their own bedrooms but now I'm starting to think we are actually quite fortunate.

If you don't use a playpen, your children are clearly much better off, will grow up to be self-regulating adults and will learn more quickly. If you live in a confined space, your children will benefit from constant adult contact and will be able to see you go to the loo, all of which are good, nay necessary. YANBU.

OK, have just re-read that and you might think I am serious! So on a more sensible note, YANBU as there is no harm in children sharing a room and as long as you all get out regularly, to the park or wherever, they do not miss out a whole lot on having a garden. Plenty of families with gardens where DCs never venture outside. Don't feel guilty think your DCs are missing out, sounds like you have it quite good compared to lots.

you raise some good points but really a garden is massive ++++++ for my family,i also love gardening so we could live smaller but would have to have a garden

I'm happy with our little house. I just wish it came with a big garden!

YANBU

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and the other day I suggested to my DH that we could downsize so I don't have to go back to work.
I'd rather live somewhere smaller for all the reasons you stated.
He looked horrified though... Looks like I'm going back to work :(

YANBU. We are just about to buy a small terraced house with a mortgage payment less than 1/10th our net salary. Because it's a terrace it's cheap to heat and will give us bags of money for "fun" stuff. My kids will have ponies rather than a drawing room. :)

I think your logic is flawed.

Most people live in a small flat/house because that is what they can afford. Has no impact on the ease of raising a family.

YABU ..

I would love a bigger house. The idea of actually having a bit of 'grown-up space' really appeals and the opportunity to throw the children (boys) out in the garden ... just having somewhere that doesn't have piles of toys and other detritus would calm me down and I wouldn't be quite so strung out!

DH and I grew up in big houses - our mums didn't have half the issues I have with my children.

I live with noisy DH and two noisy, sociable teenagers. A big house is a must.

my house it far easier to clean than my flat ever was, the garden also mean i don't need to go out everyday as the garden is full of out door toys and is better than any park.

YANBU. i live in a 2 bed flat with oh and 2xdd. we are on the market at the moment but cant see us selling soon. i am moving to get closer to family and the natural progresion is to a house but i love the single level of a flat. the children can wander to there bedroom as they are only .8 and 15 months i dont have to sress about stairs. we do have a comunal garden that i do use in the summer

I've just moved from a flat to a bungalow with a garden. I would of coped ok in the flat, but drying clothes would of been a pita.

we live in a flat, would love a big house and garden but you just make the best of what you have and as you say there are benefits to everything. personally i think the area you live in is more important than the house/flat i would rather live here in london in a flat then in the middle of nowhere in a massive house, definitely. and ours is quite cheap for the size/area but its because we live in a basement, and sometimes i do think i really wish we did not live in the basement as not good lighting etc, but the size makes up for it so cant have everything

wait untill they are teens.........a house with a room far away from you is a must then

Agree with 2 shoes - the teenage years demand space!!!

just because you live in a house dosent always mean you can get away from the kids

im in a house and still find/follow me room to room it does my bloomin head in,cant pee without somebody calling/tracking me down

and i have two nearly twelve yrs old and a 4yr old

only time i will get peace is when they move farrrr waayyyy i think

lol

its not really a must though is it, for those of us who can't afford it?

I live in a flat and the benefits at the mo for me are there are no stairs to hoover, dont have to worry about stairgates, you always know the kids are safe as they arent far away, less floor space to clear.

It does make it easier to do stuff as I lived in a house when I first got married and my husband and I were tramps at keeping it tidy. We didnt even have kids then so I do enjoy that part of having a flat!

I grew up in a big house with enormous garden. On paper, it should have been idyllic. BUT it was (and is) invariably freezing cold, and always needed stuff doing - loads of weekends spent helping parents with DIY, running repairs, and the like: not just "clean-the-bathroom" chores. All cash went on mortgage or doing the house up, all energy went on the same. And at the end of it, you end up with a house which has rooms which are barely used....
I don't understand the "bigger is bettter" mentality for housing, TBH. Most people just use the extra space to fill with furniture and "stuff". Also -sorry to sound like a sad hippy- it's not exactly environmentally positive to have the excess building materials, heating, lighting, and "stuff" a big house needs.
IMO "big enough" is the "right" size of house, which doesn't actually mean 6 bedrooms, 348 bathrooms, and 4 reception rooms.....

I agree about the flat - and if you have a lovely public park nearby, you have a massive green space with lots of company for you and your DCs and you don't have to tend the garden.

There is a lot to be said for flats when you have small DCs.

To be fair we do use our garden and garden room extensively.
When the weather is nice, there is nothing better than taking tea in the sunrise. Ditto a glass of something cold and bubbly at sundown.
And DC are the sort who free range in and out all weekend and holidays.

However, I don't see it as a be all and end all.

Flats invariably have attached neighbours. I don't like having to consider other people wrt how much noise we make .

YANBU. I love 2 bedroom holiday apartments and cottages - so easy to keep tidy and you can see what everyone's doing, esp imp when the dc were smaller. I can see your point and think you sound very sensible and your dc will benefit from living in a contented home.

There's no right answer surely? But it's nice to read a thread where most people are happy with what they have!

FWIW, I live in a tiny terraced house, and I used to wish I could afford a bigger one. We've been here for 6 years now, and are getting close to the point where that extra money will be available, and d'you know what? I think we'll probably stay!