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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

or is my brother a cheeky shit?

74 replies

birdynumnums · 23/11/2010 13:09

Brother is 30 so cannot blame youth for this. He is becoming extremely materialistic and is always boating that he earns more than the rest of us.

Now we have always sniggered at him behind his back because he asks my mum how much she is spending on his christmas presents and then presents her a list in which every penny of the budget is spent. He won't let her surprise him. Now we really are an age when he should stop asking what his budget is surely and allow my mum (who earns half of what he does)to cut back a bit.She is very generous anyway so probably wouldn't but it's the expectation of it all that riles me.

My dad (seperated from mum) has obviously decided to cut back in recent years and has taken to giving us 20 quid in a card (fine by me as he isn't a high earner and he is generous with our kids). This year my brother has outright asked him to buy him an item for christmas that costs 80 quid. He has obviously thought long and hard how he can get more out of him after the disappointment of opening his card last year. My mum told me he was laughing about it to her but I don't think it's funny - it's embarrassing.

I was going to get him a game for his playstation and was bargain hunting to get one for around 15 quid. He asked me what i was getting him (obviously so he can download the demo to see if he likes it and check out the price). He has helpfully suggested i get him a game that costs 40 quid. I told him to sod off so he has asked me for a voucher. I told him i don't like buying vouchers and now he has text me asking for a game that costs 25 quid. He knows im not earning at the moment as on mat leave and I actually turned down a meal the other day saying I was low on funds and was saving for the kids presents. Is this normal for someone of his age? Is he being savvy or just a greedy, cheeky shit?

OP posts:
healthyElfy · 23/11/2010 13:51

Get together and all buy him socks!

kenobi · 23/11/2010 13:53

Kitta - it may look rigid when written down but everyone knowing where they stand makes for a happy Christmas in my book! Yay for you!

On my DH's side we only do pressies for the kids (those under 16). On my family's side we do "secret santa' - we each buy one pressie for one of us but quite a generous one as we added up all the money we were spending on each other. We all spend the same amount so it works really well. And rather than sveeral random presents we each get one decent pressie (plus whatever our partners give us).

Anyway, I add my YANBU to the growing pile. And tell your dad to stand firm too!

Out of interest - what does he get you guys?

stealthsquiggle · 23/11/2010 13:59

YANBU. My 30yo DB has an Amazon wishlist (more for birthday than for Christmas) but it has an entirely reasonable spread of stuff on it and he would by happy for interpretations on a theme, or surprises - and the whole interrogating people and wanting to know exactly what he is getting - WTF is that about? If he wants stuff that badly he can buy it for himself - Christmas should be about nice suprises, IMO.

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/11/2010 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConstanceFelicity · 23/11/2010 14:08

Please buy him a goat. And come back to tell us his reaction.

MrsChemist · 23/11/2010 14:15

Get him the a voucher for £15 at the game shop and slip a note inside the envelope saying "I want, never gets"

sue52 · 23/11/2010 14:40

I think a goat is ideal present for a greedy individual like your brother. It might possibly make him think about people who are in need of the most basic necessities in life, then again it will probably just really annoy him. Good either way.

ChippingIn · 23/11/2010 14:43

Find a way of sponsoring a Donkey and give him it in a card telling him not to be an Ass!

(Not strictly the same animal I know - but near enough!)

Kitta · 23/11/2010 16:05

I'm still voting for the Oxfam Loo, it can become a theme, for his birthay you can buy loo cleaning stuff donated, loo Roll for next christmas.

chitchatinsantasear · 23/11/2010 16:10

Ooh, to add to Kitta's list - some Imodium because he's giving everyone the shits!!!

saffy85 · 23/11/2010 16:16

Write him a note saying that a doantion has been made in his name to say, a charity that buys presents for underpriveledged children. Suggest everyone else makes a donation to a charity in his name. He is a cheeky greedy fuckwit. He'd get sweet FA from me!

ModreB · 23/11/2010 18:02

Not a goat, what about a latrine

Actuallawyer · 23/11/2010 18:06

What about a nice framed picture from your DC? Who could fail to love that?!

verytellytubby · 23/11/2010 18:36

Greedy!

verytellytubby · 23/11/2010 18:36

And a bit odd.

Spinkle · 23/11/2010 18:41

when you're a grown up 30 year old male then xmas pressies are a token.

Tell him to grow up, grasping bugger.

SuePurblybiltByElves · 23/11/2010 18:43

He does not sound like a nice person at all and tbh I'd resent getting him anything.

What does he get you?

roses2 · 23/11/2010 19:29

Get him something from Poundland and give him the receipt. They allow returns there.

Asteria · 23/11/2010 19:47

I think that such a lovely chap would really really appreciate something home-made - it's the thought that counts after all! Perhaps you could get the DC's to make sock puppets and you could make him some fudge...

eclipse · 23/11/2010 19:57

My brother's only a few years older than this and it's been about 20 years since we bought each other birthday or Christmas presents. I adore him and am hoping he feels the same way. Don't get he present buying (beyond tokes, e.g. bottle of wine/ flowers) for adults thing.

FreudianSlimmery · 23/11/2010 19:57

How did he end up like this anyway? Is he this entitled in other areas?

specialsmasher · 23/11/2010 20:02

greedy shit. Goat a brilliant suggestion. Or some school books. Or sponsor a cricket at the zoo... they'd send him a picture, so he wouldn't be empty-handed...

specialsmasher · 23/11/2010 20:02

LOL @ sock puppets! Grin

whiteflame · 23/11/2010 20:42

you and all of your other siblings/cousins/any close, gift-buying friends could contribute to the 80 pound gift your father is getting, making sure your DF only pays the 20 pounds he would have put in the card Wink

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