Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be bloody miserable

33 replies

Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 06:34

My ds is 11 months and is just starting his 14th admission to hospital with bronchiolitis.
It's 6am and I'm sat in a and e alone with my beautiful baby boy. I got a cab here alone as dh had to stay at home with dd.
At first family and friends rallied around but we are in hospital so often no one really bothers anymore. Dh is self employed and needs to work. He did keep taking time off at first but these admissions are too frequent now so I sit in hospital alone watching my poorly baby get so sick.
I know there are people much worse off but it is so bloody hard. AIBU to be so miserable?

OP posts:
bigchris · 23/11/2010 06:40

You poor thing
have the doctors said why he keeps getting it? Perhaps when he's over a year old his immune system will be better
if you need family and friends to help perhaps you should ask, people don't always realise they're still needed and worry about being in the way
hope he gets better soon xxx

TheProvincialLady · 23/11/2010 06:42

Of course not, that is rubbish for youSad Do they know why he gets it so often?

ElectricSoftParade · 23/11/2010 06:46

No you are not BU. Sounds like a horrible situation for you all to be in and sending best wishes for your ds for a speedy recovery.

My ds spent his first year in hospital in London (not where we live) and I remember being so lonely. People visited lots during the first couple of months but then, as they had their own lives, the visits dropped off but their thoughts still were with us. I think what I mean is even though you may feel they don't care as much, I'm sure they do but their own lives will take priority.

I hope your ds does make a quick recovery and you are able to get some rest too.

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 23/11/2010 06:47

Oh sweetheart I think you have every right to be fed up and down hearted Sad

That must have made the first months of being Mummy to him so hard and hard on everyone else.

Would you be entitled to help from Homestart?

It sounds like you all need a break. Take care and I hope things pick up soon x

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 06:49

He is just one of those babies that everytime he has a cold it goes to his chest. Poor mite has had tests for cystic fibrosis and immune function tests, all normal. Blame his asthmatic daddy!
Bigchris, it's difficult to ask friends so often as they all have kids and work and family all work and live so far away. Dh and I have both lost our mums and I know this situation would be so different if they were here to support us.
Must pull myself together and stop feeling so sorry for myself but really want my mum!

OP posts:
Ineedsomesleep · 23/11/2010 06:58

Oh Bobble, you poor thing. Hope your DS recovers from this bout quickly.

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 07:02

You are all so kind, lovely words in the early lonely hours!
Electric I think my op made mr sound like a right self centred cow. I totally realise that friends all have their own lives and don't expect them at all to help. I know they do care but I don't even bother telling people anymore when we are in hospital as even I am fed up of the 'same old story'!
Mitzy, not sure about homestart but we have just got a nanny for the days I work( who earns more than me lol!) so life is a little easier

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 23/11/2010 07:15

You do not sound self centred or whingy at all. You are in a tough situation and entitled to feel a bit hard done by!

ElectricSoftParade · 23/11/2010 07:16

Bobbie, no I don't think you sounded self-centred at all! Just knackered and very worried about your boy. Smile

onceamai · 23/11/2010 07:27

Bobbiesmum you are having a horrid time and I know it's dreadful we have been there - almost - ds had 5 admissions and endless visits to a&e, and the cystic fibrosis test, etc. It doesn't sound as though his asthma is under control. You might have to put your foot down to do the following:

  1. Insist on referral to the consultant in charge of paediatric lung disease.
  1. Insist on referral to a specialist paediatric asthma sister.

We spent months and months with portable electric nebulisers etc., as soon as we got the above referrals it was explained to me that often babies hold their breath when a mask is put on them so counting to 10 (as I had been shown) was fairly useless. You have to watch them take a breath - 8-10 is good but they get most of it on the first two. Also they recommended a small plastic (bright yellow or orange) tubular nebuliser and explained that it was more effective because the inhaled medicine had less far to travel from the source. This meant the steroid (pulmicort) got to the baby better. The smaller equipment also made it easier to hold the baby still to make sure he inhaled better.

We were off the electric neb in 10 days and there were immense improvements.

I do understand this is really upsetting but things will get better for you - many hugs and for baby.

Good luck.

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 07:46

Thanks once. Problem is no one will call it asthma as he is under 1. What makes it worse is I am a bloody doctor in this hospital and we still don't get anywhere.
He does have a consultant but general paeds not resp and everyone just tells me these admissions are just 'bad luck'.
Waiting for a bed now, a and e doing there usual of putting monitors on him, turning the alarms off then ignoring us.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 07:47

Thanks once. Problem is no one will call it asthma as he is under 1. What makes it worse is I am a bloody doctor in this hospital and we still don't get anywhere.
He does have a consultant but general paeds not resp and everyone just tells me these admissions are just 'bad luck'.
Waiting for a bed now, a and e doing their usual of putting monitors on him, turning the alarms off then ignoring us.

OP posts:
TheUnmentioned · 23/11/2010 07:55

No YADNBU.

If its any consolation from 7 - 13/14 months ds was ill constantly, chest infections, ear infections, waking in the night, ever night, turning blue choking on mucus etc - it was hell! Then he got a bit bigger, got to about 14 mlnths or so like I say and wham, a different kid. He is almost 4 now, he was ill with a virus last week but thats the first time he has been properly ill (more than a cold) in a year. when he was the age of your ds I panicked that there was some sinister underlying medical condition, there wasnt, he just had to get through it, it was horrendous and cruel but he got there. Your ds will too.

onceamai · 23/11/2010 07:56

Sorry - didn't mean to teach you to suck eggs. If it helps I will send a private message to tell you who we had him referred to.

BeerTricksPotter · 23/11/2010 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 08:05

Thanks guys, it does feel like you are the only one that's been through it. Good to hear your dc are well now. I think having medical knowledge makes the dire emergency care all the more apparent.
Once, would greatly appreciate a pm re referral.

OP posts:
herbietea · 23/11/2010 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FreudianSlimmery · 23/11/2010 08:19

You poor things :(

DS had that once and that was bad enough - he's now got a ventolin inhaler and spacer to use whenever he's looking sniffly or wheezy.

Are you sure your family/previous Helpers actually know you still need support, are you still asking them? They may have assumed that as you've been through it so many times, it's not a big deal to you?

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 08:35

Would be very grateful of referral recommendations, I am in the midlands. Oh and no one is teaching me to suck eggs I am so tired I don't even know what day it is!

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 23/11/2010 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onceamai · 23/11/2010 08:43

That was the word I couldn't remember. It was a small yellow plastic (they came in orange too) spacer and it was much much more effective than the great big transparent plastic one. 15 years ago not avail on the NHS but 25pds very well spent.

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 09:27

Have got a spacer and daily inhaled steroid, making no difference to frequency. I think this genuinely is bronchiolitis each time, very wet chest, confirmed on x ray and he is so well in between times (which admittedly isn't very long)
Am just really fed up with it all and fed up of doing it alone

OP posts:
Jic · 23/11/2010 09:34

completely understand you bobbiesmum, it must be so tough for you DS was exactly the same in the first year and it really was hell. exactly what you're describing, nobody listened, just in and out of a and e every month or so. nobody wants to say athsma but im convinced it is and also the spacer and inhalor he's on works now, but he had to have lots of steroids etc in the ist year. has definitely improved as he's got older so i imagine your ds will too just due to the fact that theyre bigger and airways get bigger

yadnbu it's really hard to watch your child and be so helpless

Original poster
Bobbiesmum · 23/11/2010 10:16

Jic your post is exactly what I wanted to say but too tired to articulate it!
What wonderful support on here. Hate coming in as we co sleep and they forbid it but today I think they appreciate my exhaustion as we have a proper bed instead of a cot. Result!

OP posts:
Jic · 23/11/2010 10:52

glad you have a bed at least

it is completely exhausting, i hope he'll turn a corner soon, i dare say when he goes into his second year, let us know how you get on

Swipe left for the next trending thread