Regarding pet rabbits - I feel I maybe being harsh but am I?

[bigpurple]

My dd who is a teenager (i.e. not a young child) got 2 pet rabbits at Easter.

She asked for them for over 2.5 years, so not a flash in the pan decision.

The whole deal before she got them was that she had to look after them, and financially they were her responsibility. Hence why we waited so long as we wanted her to be an age that she could take on the responsibility.

However, since she's had the rabbits, the cost for food, treats, innoculations, holiday cover has fallen on us.

Worse than that numerous times her rabbits have escaped, they have a large run, and large hutch, but she's been very careless with the latches. We've retrieved the rabbits, she's half heaterdly helped, the neighbours have kindly retrieved her rabbits.

We've told her off, numerous times, and have said they will get lost, be eaten by cats/foxes, weather exposure etc.

Anyway, the rabbits got out last Wednesday as she hadn't secured their hutch properly. I advised her when she came home on Wednesday, that they weren't there, and that I had tried to catch them, but was unable to. She said 'oh' looked out the back door and that was her amount of effort. She then went out for the evening, my dh and I tried to find the rabbits but couldn't find them. She asked Thursday and Friday whether we had seen them, I had seen one on the Thursday run through our garden, but couldn't catch it.

(BTW we are out at work all day - and she is at home technically more hours than we are if she didn't choose to go out with friends in the evening).

She didn't look Thurs/Fri for them, dh and I ddid but no success.

Saturday afternoon with no concern from her, I suggested she did a leaflet drop to see if any neighbours had seen the rabbits. Houses behind ours said they had seen them on the Thursday but not since.

Sunday dh and I looked for them, dd did not.

DD came home from school didn't look for them, went out at 7pm - still not going outside, came home at 9.30pm, and asked if I thought the rabbits would come back.

I said I doubted it now due to a) the cold, b) the number of cats around and c) the foxes.

She then burst into tears, and said she realy missed them. I said it is sad, but that I have absolutely no sympathy to her, and I just hope the rabbits didn't suffer, she thinks I'm being a terrible mother. Maybe I am but I can't get the sympathy for her - would you have sympathy for your child in this situation?

[Sorry it's so long].

Um, no SHE is being a terrible mother to the rabbits.

Half the reason for having pets is to teach children compassion for another living thing. I dread to hink what those poor rabbits have been through or are going through.

I'd have been tempted not to look after her at all until she started looking after the rabbits. But in the circumstances, I think they are long gone and you are not being unreasonable.

bigpurple the point is, you should have done something before it got to this stage. The welfare of the rabbits is more important than your DD learnng responsibility or to not be selfish. Why on earth didn't you assume responsibility for the rabbits after they got out the first or second time or at least over-see your DD's care of them? Why did you not insist she did not go out until the rabbits were found or she'd at least made a very good effort to find them? They were ultimately your responsibility, you are the adult here. If your DD had let them starve to death because she wasn't feeding them, would you still blame it all on her and not think you should have stepped in at some point?

At no point have you seemed very concerned about the rabbits at all, just your DD's behaviour.

Very concerned about the rabbits - yes I probably should of rehomed them, but every morning I would tell her to feed and water the rabbits. In the warmer lighter months, the rabbits were out for 4-5 hours a day. Since October they have been out for 2 hours a day. She would put them out, and I would see them when I came in from work, and whilst they were in their run I would check there was plenty of food and water.

Every time she did anything with them, I would ask again and again were the latches (four doors, slide in latch on each door), were on. She assured me they were, I would ask her to go back and check - realistically 9 times out of 10 they were, but there were occassions when I would return home to a rabbit sat by the run.

Last Wednesday I got home earlier than her, so went to check food/water, and saw that one door was open. This must have occurred when she went out that morning to put the heat pads into the hutch. As soon as she returned was when I made her aware I was looking for the rabbit.

Of course I've been concerned about the rabbits, in a number of reply posts, I have pointed out how DH and I have been searching for the rabbits.

If she had looked after the rabbits better would you have put more effort into looking for them?

YANBU to be annoyed with her but I feel very sorry for the rabbits.

How old is your DD?

The main lesson for your DD to take from this, is animals are not there as entertainment. People choose to take animals in, they can't speak, they don't choose. They feel pain and fear, and need to be protected from those. If your DD has truly learnt this, fine. It's not to late to put posters up and go door to door

14

I put in as much effort as I could of done, the only thing that I considered doing extra over what I did, but unfortunately was not in a position to do so with regards to work, was to stay at home on the Thursday, so that I could of searched in daylight, rather than the dark, that I had to do until the weekend cae.

My dd has been door to door, and over 50 leaflets have been delivered.

At 14, I think she was too young to have total responsibilty for these rabbits.
Am not sure how she could ever could have afforded them on her own.

So, no-one comes out of this well imo. Hope you find them safe and well.