Spoiled baby alert

[cheekyseamonkey]

DD is 10 months old. We live in SW England, my folks in NI. They've seen her 3 times since she was born, twice we visited them. Haven't seen her since May; we just moved house and are a bit skint.

We keep asking them to come (we pick them up from airport, feed them, let them stay & pay for most days out usually), but they say money is tight - ok. We set up a skype account for them.

When we last saw them, we discussed Christmas presents. We asked that they only got her a couple of things (we gave them a few suggestions) & if they desperately wanted to part with more cash could they either put it in an account for her or for themselves, so they could visit more. Spoke to my mum last night to check what they'd bought so no duplicates with any of our other (numerous) rellies and was shocked to be read a long list of £150 worth of stuff (most of it similar, flashy, county crap). I calmly pointed out that was a lot and said we'd spread it out over the year if they didn't mind. Mum burst into tears and said it was for her birthday too (12 Jan) & passed phone to Dad who had a go.

I thought I was compromising and wanted to nip the spoiled (admittedly first) grandchild thing in the bud. Also, they always complain about DH's sister's kids who are spoiled rotten. My mum has lengthy bitching sessions about how they can't appreciate the value of things if they have so much, yadda yadda yadda.

So frustrated, especially with interfering, much younger and childless brother who's demanded that I apologise! AIBU?

It might all seem a bit daft if they were able to pop in every weekend for a cup of tea, but families abroad end up pinning a lot on these big visits (that's what makes them so stressful). But they didn't mean anything malicious, and the fact that the OP made them read out a list of what they had bought (yes, ok, not to duplicate, but I would never do this in a million years, I think coordinating pressies with lots of relatives is a little over controlling really) sounds like she was expecting them to do this. I would indulge them this year, and mention it in Feb. Otherwise you risk an atmosphere for what, a few extra birthday and Christmans gifts?

And yet it seems like this was how OP was brought up too, it's funny the that her parents aren't sticking to their own rules now. Maybe that's what happens when you become a grandparent.