to think this is a health & safety hazard or I don't have a (legal) leg to stand on?

[RedHeels]

I rent a first floor flat in a converted house where there is also only a ground floor flat. An elderly lady owns that flat and the landing outside my door belongs to her property too.

The neighbour keeps her walking frame outside my door, on the landing, which she doesn't use (she told me that plus I've never seen the thing moved and I'm in and out a lot as I work from here). 12 months ago we had a conversation about the frame as I thought it was a health and safety hazard as when I open my door and come out, there is a space of about 40 cm and then there is the frame. The landing outside my door is also taken up by the meters cupboard and her flat door is opposite the front door, the distance is maybe a meter. So whenever I come in and out I bump into the frame (not too mention the times when I have my shopping with me). Back then she said she was willing to take it in, but in the end I told her not to worry and that I don't mind, it being there (she's 80-something so I thought if it was more convenient for her, then be it, etc).

Now I knocked on her door, to let her now that I will be having a baby in 2 weeks and whether she could put her frame inside as I simply won't be able to wheel the pram out of my door to come out. I thought, in the light of the previous conversation, that my request was quite sensible. Before I finished speaking, I was told it's not her fault I'm pregnant and if I am pregnant I should not be living here. She said she won't move it and how do I dare to tell her what to do with her property. The old bat made my cry and finally I told her the frame just has to go.

When I want to wheel the pram out, I will have to pick her frame, move it outside the front door, wheel the pram outside and then put the frame back in. I even offered to put it in my loft but now apparently she uses the frame after the exercise (as I said, the frame is always there so that's not true but I guess it is beside the point). I will be calling my estate agent and the council on Monday but would appreciate any advice you might be able to give me in the meantime.

Hmmm those meter cupboards would be a bit of squeeze to get her in. :o

I take it she'll just go bananas if you put frame on top of the (white?) meter cupboards ?

A little hard to tell from the photos but it seems like you can, (coming in):

1. Just squeeze pram right up to her door, jiggle to the right a bit.
2. Close main front door
3. Take carrycot upstairs.
4. Return and fold/stash chassis.

Might be worth taking a tape measure to mothercare.

Also if you turned frame by 90 degrees, might make above a tad easier (again difficult to tell width v depth).

Failing that just leave main door open til you've folded chassis.

Thank you for the responses. There is an update (sigh) but I will get round to it later on in the evening.

The pram is already purchased (good online deal few months ago - the only thing I bought that early!) so I will just have to make do with what I have.

Redheels where are the photos can't find them?

Oh don't worry I found them. Yes it will be a pain with that there. I thought the word reasonable was always to be used in these cases and you not being able to get in and out easily is not reasonable.
Just out of interest if your flat was occupied by a person in a wheel chair and made their access difficult would she still refuse to move the thing?

lurking

Well, she left me a note last night, which I found this morning that basically said I hugely upset her, she had been very ill recently and if I asked her and not demanded for the frame to be moved she would have been happy to compromise.

Well, sigh is the only thing I can say. I did not demand, I faffed around to say it as politely as I could but from the moment she opened the door I could see she was in a bad mood. Now I'm speechless and really disheartened.

What I said was pretty much: "Hello, sorry to bother you but I thought it would be best to talk to you in person rather to leave a note. I'm not sure if you're aware because we rarely see each other but I will be having a baby in the next couple of weeks. The reason I wanted to talk to you is to ask whether it would be possible to move the frame somehow because I thought about it many times and I can see there is no way I can whee the pram out of the flat with the frame being there." I barely finished the last sentence when she angrily said "well, that's not my fault you're pregnant". I went , eh? Then I said: "oh, but last time we spoke about it you said that you didn't use the frame and if it's in my way you could put it in your flat". Her: "well, that was then and now I use it after exercise every day. If you are pregnant, then you shouldn't be living here, should you. This (the hallway) belongs to me and I can do what I want here." Me: "but I won't be able to get through to my door". Her shouting and trembling: "How dare you to tell me what to do in my own house." Me upset going into my flat: "I'm sorry, I don't care, it will have to go". So yes after all the abuse and shouting my final words were "it will have to go" but that's not how the conversation started. I am gobsmacked that what she recalls is obviously me knocking on her door and demanding.

Yes, she's old, yes she's probably not well but she is lucid enough and that's just bollocks. She says at the end of her note that she is happy to work on a compromise so I guess that's good but I now think she is definitely a nasty piece of work to be re-writing history like that . She must know what she said and how she behaved!

I will be leaving her a note saying that I appreciate her wanting to compromise and I never set out to upset her but we clearly have very different recollections of what happened. In order to avoid that in the future I will not be contacting her directly anymore and if there is a need for any future contact, it will have to be done via a third party. I will suggest that she might want to designate a friend, a nurse or a social worker to liaise with me directly, someone who has her best interest at heart but also someone who will be able to discuss things rationally as she clearly can't. I will call my property manager in the morning and explain what happen and ask her to liaise with the neighbour to finalise the compromise as after the Saturday's incident I do not want to have any contact with the neighbour.

My advice for what it's worth is not to send that note, although frankly I would be fuming and upset if I were you.
The reason I wouldn't send that note is because if you want to move you will have to declare that you are having/had a 'dispute' with the neighbour which could cause potential problems.
If you just try to ignore her outrageous note and find the compromise it may make life easier for yourself going forward. Annoying as hell but...

scoobytoo - so what am I supposed to do? Any consideration I had for her, is gone through the window, I just don't want to speak to her ever again. Isn't it really a matter for the landlord as it is about the access to the property? By landlord I actually mean the property manager, as the actual landlord never gets involved in anything. Also I don't want her to think she is doing me a favour, when in fact by law I should be able to have proper access?

I thought you only had to declare if you're trying to sell. OP didn't you say you rent?

Grit your teeth.

Don't send that note!

I rent. I've never had any problems before with any neighbours. I am usually a tough old bird but that note knocked me for six .

I do think maryz is right. It's hard but you'll have to deal with her for as long as you live there and she could get really nasty with all sorts of complaints about you. I'm not saying the complaints would be justified btw. Just try to have as little to do with her as possible once you've got this matter sorted out.

er well I'd send the note :)
Why should you put yourself through any more like that? You want the problem sorted and you now need it done without you having to come face to face with her

Thanks to those who managed to get through the update!

Really? Oh, dear. I thought if it's done officially and someone else tells her what the law is, then I don't have to keep on wondering when next time she will change her mind because she will think she's not obliged to compromise and she is just doing me favour.

Oh Okay, if you rent I would do what you were planning, get a third party to sort things and tell her why in a note.

PomBear

When you were a child, did you enjoy poking wasps nests with sticks or weeing on high voltage electricity lines by any chance ? :o

You could go and find out for yourself asap whether she has to move it. If that is the case go down and honestly talk to her and tell how upset you are by her recollection of the chat.
She also has no right to say you should be living there having a baby.
Some old people can be so annoying and rude...

:o cumfy
The other way to look at it is if you've poked the crocodile and it's bitten you, don't do it again!

I thought if it's done officially and someone else tells her what the law is

Unfortunately she could tell you she doesn't want to renew the tenancy.

Your an ever-so tiny bit fucked in that respect.

Hence all the treading-on-eggshells missives! :o

Hopefully will end in smiles tho'.