to think that if you contribute nothing to school events, you don't have the right to bitch about them if they're not up to your exacting standards?

[zisforzebra]

Okay, I'll probably get flamed for this having seen mn reactions to PTA threads in the past but here goes...

I help on the school PTA. Every meeting this year it's just been me and two other mums maximum representing 400+ parents. It doesn't matter how many letters are sent out or what the event is to be, we don't get any other parents coming to meetings or showing an interest (we're nice and approachable and not remotely cliquey (which I can't spell!) which I know can put some people off)

We've had the school fair today and I've already seen comments on facebook by mums who do nothing but moan about how much stuff/money the school ask for bitching about how they thought the fair was rubbish.

It makes me so cross and I think that if you contribute bugger all (be that time or donated items) to a school event, you don't have the right to bitch about it when it's not as great as you think it ought to be.

Rant over.

I can see why the OP expected to get flamed. I'm feeling quite let down that nobody has come onto this thread to point out that PTA types are amply compensated for the hours they put in by having their little darlings take all the best parts in school productions. Doesn't happen in DS2's school, unfortunately.You'd think in this day and age it was time nose-picking and face-pulling skills had their turn at taking centre stage, but no, he has to take his place at the back.

Sorry you feel like that, BBB.
&
I don't perceive favouritism on DC's schools due to parental participation in PTA.
DS1 has the lead in a school play and not only am I not on the PTA, he has only been at the school 2 months and he absolutely did not want that part (or any part).

DD gets good narrator parts because she was an early strong reader and has learnt how to speak loudly but clearly early on. DS2 gets no part because he is a lousy speaker and totally unreliable.
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I know what you mean, OP, but since you brought it up (and no, I would not facebook this, what is it with people Facebooking their rants??) I hate the PTA events because they consist of DC nagging me at great length to buy them stuff (sweets and cheap toys they don't need). Then I have to chase over-excited DC around the whole time trying to keep them safe and behaving reasonably in a very overcrowded environment. I totally hate it and there is no solution except refusing to let them attend at all (which wouldn't exactly be supporting the school, would it?)

YANBU OP. I was never on the PTA because I didn't have time for the meetings but I always volunteered to help when I could.

Thanks everyone.

Happy Good ideas, especially a and c, thanks!

Longtall That's brilliant!

brecon That might be true for your school but the only compensation I'm offered is a summer tea & cake party which I haven't managed to get to once in the whole time I've helped there because I've been at work.

Er, no, if you read the whole thread you'll see I am 'one of those PTA types'. I've read several threads elsewhere on MN that mention that kind of favouritism happening to the detriment of their own DCs. Would link to at least one of them but am using kiddy keyboard without square brackets.

YANBU. I would feel cross too. Very.

Constructive criticism and/or suggestions can be helpful, and a helping hand is even better, but gossiping bitchiness is horrid.

There are generally 3 groups of parents at dd's school:

A group of people who take things on - they have the time and the inclination (many are sahms). It's very hard work, and as far as I can tell, there is little to be directly gained from it (i.e. cliques, favoured treatment, and/or power don't figure in here).

There is another group who can't/don't take things on because of demanding work schedules or home lives. They usually contribute financially, as that is what they are able to do.

And then there is a group who don't contribute at all - with their time, energy or finances.

Increasingly, i feel grumpy with the latter group - maybe my unhappiness is inversely proportionate to the amount of time I spend volunteering at dd's school. My last big school event is next week, and then I shall step down so someone else can take a turn.

maybe most of the parents would rather that you didn't put on the events? I hate them. Th elast thing that I want to do of an evening is be dragged around a Christmas fayre because it has been hyped by teachers so the kids want to go (but incidently never enjoy it anyway). Maybe the 400+ parents are trying to tell you something :). Schools have budgets - I'm a school governor so I know - they are tigh tbut often not that tight - savings can often be made and stuff can be afforded so most PTA events are not that vital and I don't see why the PYA mafia feel that they have the right to force everyone to dontate the the tombola etc. just because the school cannot manage their budget efficiently :)

You must have a good budget then. Our PTA is spending money on reading books, maths resources and whiteboards, all pretty essential items.

Sorry Brecon for not reading thread properly!

Soggy makes a good point, state schools (PTAs) shouldn't have to do this fund-raising nonsense. :(

Early - now you make me feel like shit as I don't have the time (see my post above - I spend most of my time on church stuff at the moment - which I can do with DS's in tow) and can't make PTA meetings (always in the evening at both schools) and I can't afford to conitrubte anything much financially either.

Our school Christmas fairs (both of them) are just after school until around 5.30/6pm. Seems to work for most parents - although the Junior school one that's always on a Friday seems to have more parents attend than the Junior school one which always seems to be on a Monday (mostly the same parents at both schools).

The funds raised by the PTA at dd's school are put toward 'extras'. I'd estimate that, on average, each event raises in the region of £3k (several raise much more), so the PTA contributes a significant amount each year toward 'quality of life' at the school.

The existing budget covers essentials only - the school would be a drab place if it had to exist on essentials only.

I'd be a lot happier if we didn't have to! We get asked to buy stuff like musical, sports and play equipment, and also to contribute to larger projects like new classrooms. I'm guessing with cutbacks there will be even more calls on PTA funds in the future.
I'm not a huge fan of these fundraisers myself, but if you really don't want to go, I'm sure your PTA will be happy to accept cash in a brown envelope. In my experience it's usually only reluctant staff who take this option, though.

each event raises £3k

OMG - our infant school PTA is very happy if they make £500 from the fairs!

Ah Baroque - don't feel bad. That certainly wasn't/isn't my intention.

I only have a problem with people who could contribute but don't. Some people's lives simply don't allow it, and that is where others can and do (and should, imo) step in.

I think the point is: our communities are better places if we pitch in and contribute - and it certainly sounds as if you do that as and where you are able.

I know- that's why I didn't put in a emoticon.

I'd love to contribute more (financially) - not sure I could take on any more "meeting" based stuff, especially as I'll have to fit my current stuff around work when I start (hopefully) next year.

I definitely agree that communities are better places if we pitch in and contribute.

YANBU OP, my DD is at nursery, only since September, and I have been to an informal open evening, which gave parents the chance to chat to the keyworkers, to see how they are getting on etc. I have also contributed cakes for their cake sale they had for C.I.N. even though my DD does not attend on a Friday. The other day I heard that only 6 of all the parents turned up for informal open evening.
Unfortunately, I have not signed up for their Commitee meetings, as I work most evenings, they only give about 2 weeks notice of their meetings, of which is no good for me, as I can't get time off at the drop of a hat, also I have been told that once you sign up to the Commitee you have to attend each and every meeting. If it was a case of turn up when you can, then I may put my name down to attend.

One other thing they insist on, is they have to have at least 35% of parents attending their meetings, (as well as the commitee members) to make it all worth while. You have to fill in a reply slip from the letter inviting you, to let them know if you will be attending.

My DDs nursery is dependent on fund raising to keep open, so when I can, I help out. Not always easy for some people, but I would never bitch about things that I have not contributed to.