to think you dont need to give a 2 year old a bottle

[woahthere]

I look after a 2 year old boy, I have looked after him about 9 months and all this time, I have been trying to get him to be more independant by giving him finger foods, and encouraging him to drink from a cup and feed himself with a spoon because otherwise he literally sits there and just opens his mouth to be fed, even when the food is in his mouth he just lets it swil around until it eventually goes down rather than chewing it and swallowing it. He has not been allowed to do things for himself enough because his mum cant deal with the mess. Ive worked really hard over the past few months to encourage him to be a bigger boy and he has started to respond, but then I found out he still has bottles morning and night. AIBU to think is totally unecessary. I feel like the Mum is trying to keep him dependant and a baby.

woah, I think the advice to 'boast' to Mum about what he can do when he's at yours is a great idea. I was really surprised at parent's evening the other day when teacher told me what ds1 could do, I thought, REALLY? But it has changed my perception of what he can do when he HAS to (or when he is not around his Mummy), and so I will push him a bit more.

Well dd is totally independent - she uses knife, fork and spoon beautifully and does lots of other stuff like getting undressed etc by herself (she's 2) but she likes her milk in a bottle (once a day) and won't drink it out of a cup. I don't think it's a big deal, she only takes a few minutes to drink it

well, obviously not "totally" - she can't drive yet

was about to say the same, shananhansrevenge

i wouldn't bat an eyelid if a baby was breastfeeding at 2, so ditto re the bottle

my DS was finished with a bottle at 18 mths, DD was 3.5, she was very 'sucky' it was her comfort and she loved it. when she was old enough to understand , the bottle fairies came and took her bottles. She could also drink from a regular cup etc and feed /chew

to me, teh bottle here is a red herring, a 2 year old who sits passively waiting to be fed soft food, who cannot chew/swallow 'real'food - that's a problem

what's his speech like?

I for one am not massively in favour of 'hurrying' babies on to become more developed/mature/independent.. they mature at the right rate they need to.

taking away comfort and security is not helpful

These cups that 2yo are drinking out of - are they lidless? Because if not, isn't it much the same as sucking from a bottle anyway?

My 2.1 year old drink from lidless cups and lidded ones. But you're right, I heard sport's type water bottles aren't much good, but ds1's school give them out for free and we have to take it every day.

I suppose that is the thing silverfrog. Its so hard for me as a childminder, I am supposed to be professional, not hurt parents feelings, act in best interest of child...its such a fine line between these things and being judgemental, he does concern me and I have often wondered if there could be some kind of issue....bottle aside, I think i have been unreasonable about that, but I dont know every kind of disorder and you dont always want to say anything in case its nothing. So sorry about your situation.

Whoa I just think sometimes people judge without knowing everything iyswim, you never did anything but dh is annoying me so prob grumpy :)

Nothing wrong with milk in a bottle at 2.
Would you be complaining if he was still breastfed at 2?

do keep up framey old bean

woah, you sound very humble. If you are concerned, I would bring it up again...the parents don't know what other kids are like, and you have extensive experience, so it is much easier for you to judge what is 'lazy' and what is 'not normal'.

Why the hurry though? My brother had a bedtime bottle until about 5 apparently and he is now a normal well adjusted human being who doesn't have milk out of a bottle anymore...
Every child needs some form of comfort.

oops am I putting my foot in it again?

juuule, my son drinks from non lided cups every day.
He has a flip top beaker at nursery, which is what they use, but i have gone in to collect him and the lid has been off because he has refused liquids with the lid on.

At 2ish i wouldn't take the bottle away or anything else FTM, if it caused distress, but i would be offering cups, beakers etc as an alternative, just so they have the choice when they feel ready.
Just like giving them a spoon whilst feeding them at the beginning, i think it helps development, and gives them confidence and independence.

When do you make the conscious decision to take the bottle away, say if they still want it at 8,9,10?

Truely lazy mums like myself love bottles as they are much more difficult to spill all over their bed than cups.

My 6 year old has only started refusing to drink out of a bottle at bedtime as he tells me 'hes a big boy now'.

Disclaimer: the can all eat,chew, use cutlery and drink from normal cups!

My 2.6 yr old DS drank his morning and evening milk in a bottle up until 3 weeks ago. Anything else he drinks throughout the day he drinks in a normal plastic tumbler. But he 100% associates milk with a bottle. I have tried on numerous occassions to get the bottle off him to no success. However 3 weeks ago I just decided enough was enough and I got rid of them. We made a big thing of giving the bottles to the bottle fairy and going out and buying big boy cups for his milk. He outright refused to drink anything the first few days. It's a bit better now but still very hit and miss. I just make sure that he gets lots of dairy products throughout the day to compensate. He doesn't miss the bottle anymore and I am sure within a month or two he will be back up to drinking his usual amount from a cup. It's just learning to adjust.

I too would worry far more about the little boy not being able to feed himself or chew his food.