to hate being called "Love or Dear" by a shop assistant

[SweetnSourNoodles]

Why do people say "love or dear" to you when you are at a till, it gets my back up everytime. Now I say it back to them, no I'm fine love, thankyou dear, that bugs them.AIBU.

calm down dear

ok love

I don't mind it normally, think a lot of people do it without even realising (and actually, what would you prefer? Ma'am? ). But sometimes, when I sense that they might be being a little insincere, I respond with "thank you sooo much sweetheart" said in really syrupy tone.

I dont mind women doing it. Not so keen on men doing. make of that what you will. And I am northern, everyone calls everyone love where I live. Even if you are falling out lol "now listen love, Im not being funny but..."

I really don't know why it upsets people. It tells you what part of the country you are in. Next week I know I will be 'duck', if I go down to Cornwall I will be 'lover', up to NE and 'pet'. I rather like it.

If you read all the threads about people getting their knickers in a twist if they are called Mrs when they are Ms it saves all the bother!!! If people are going to make a great fuss about their marital status you will get far more of it!

I rather like it.

I was called 'Madam' in Waitrose the other day. I didn't wuite like that, but am not sure why.

Perhaps I just don't feel old enough to be a madam.

I LOATHE it. And as someone else said, up north it's very common to use "love" a lot.

There's a woman in my local supermarket who uses it at the end of sentence...
"Are you all right with your packing, luv?" "Do you want bags, luv?" "That's £9.50, luv" "Thanks, luv"

Sets my teeth on edge.

I hate it, but I wouldn't comment... I think that just makes me look rude.
I was somewhere yesterday (MOD) and was referred to as Ma'am (I'm civilian) by the lady receptionist and without being too old fashioned I found it much more acceptable, seriously, she didn't know my name and I think Ma'am is pretty much the only acceptable term in this instance.
I really dislike fake familiarity/affection from people you've never met before, will never meet again or only ever meet with on a professional basis...
Love, dear, maid, chuck (and don't get me started on hun) are not appropriate unless you feel affection for the person you are referring to!

Wow! Calm down Guacamole!

Shodan - or maybe it's because you don't run a string of "ladies of the night"?

every sentence

I was called madam in twice by the same person in a shop yesterday it really gets on my nerves pisses me off hate the word

would you rather they called you Oink or madam or something awful then

i would much prefer a shop assistant called me anything rather than ignored me than you

I like it.

I find being addressed in that sort of way to be very warm. Makes me smile.

They probably do it too try to be nice to people while trying not to focus on a job they probably hate.

Would you prefer they call you "Moody Cow"? or "Narky Twit"?

It depends how old they are. If they are a good 20 years younger than me then having them call me 'love' seems inappropriate.

I had a (v young) hairdresser who did this, and I was always tempted to give her a lecture on how she would get better tips if she wasn't so saccharinely patronising.

Being called 'love' by someone who's obviously older than me is fine.

I like it, it's friendly.

I'm from Manchester.... grew up with people calling me 'love' and 'chuck' as standard. Now I live near London I rather miss it.

I don't mind that so much. I have a different saga. I often stop for a take-away coffee in a particular coffee place:

Me: Can I have a coffee to take away please?
Him: No

This has been the same format every time.

I end up smiling inanely and saying 'please' again. How many times we have to repeat this depends on his mood.

Me: 'Please'
Him: 'No'
Me: 'Please'
Him: 'No'

I'm not very good at banter and am v shy . I just want my coffee [grrr]

I love it. Where I live it's the vernacular, everybody says it, even men say it to other men. I am also unsure why you think saying it back to somebody would "bug" them unless you are saying it in a heavily sarcastic tone of course.

You are perfectly entitled to your own feelings about this but on the whole I find YABU.

It always makes me smile when I hear of people getting upset by this. It's usually southerners, when visiting 'oop north' who get so confused by it, along with the fact that "a complete stranger just started a conversation with me at the bus stop!"
It's friendliness. It's what life is all about. You go outside your home/circle of friends and pass the time of day with strangers which 'should' make the day a bit more pleasant for everyone. There are no rules to it, age doesn't come into, social standing or profession; the nice person who is simply being nice to you is treating you the same as everyone else and it doesn't occur to these nice people that you may have issues that cause you to be offended

Exactly sixlostmonkeys.

I don't mind, find it quite endearing if they're older than me. I don't like it when said by someone younger or a man.... My DH calls women darlin' but where he comes from most men do, I tell him not to do it all the time, really patrionsing!

I quite like it. But then I am a love. Not to mention a dear.