to hate being called "Love or Dear" by a shop assistant

[SweetnSourNoodles]

Why do people say "love or dear" to you when you are at a till, it gets my back up everytime. Now I say it back to them, no I'm fine love, thankyou dear, that bugs them.AIBU.

chackiejan this seriously annoy me!

I am not overly excited about it but I can see that people are only trying to be friendly so tend to just ignore it or pretend to anyway

I meant to say 'this would seriously annoy me!

I think I'd get to the point where I shouted 'just give me my effing coffee!'.

chackiejan next time he does it, just say "oh ok" and walk out. Ignore him calling you back. Next time you go in, he wont do it. Easy!

I love being called "madam". I look quite young for my age and it only started happening when I had the DDs. I sort of 'bustle' on the spot with pride. What a loser.

A survey would be interesting to see if those who are very pernickety about status, Mrs, Ms. Dr etc are the ones who don't like 'love', 'hen' etc. I bet they are the same. I don't see that any of it matters.

You're right, I should take control . In the meantime, I breathe an audible sigh of relief when I see he's not behind the counter!

I know he's just joking around, but I can't deliver witty come-backs, I just go red and plead for my coffee!

I quite like it tbh. The lady who controls my eyebrows calls me lovie. I'm sure she is actually a fair bit younger than me but it makes for a nice relaxed girly environment rather than being patronising iyswim.

I quite like it, especially if I'm somewhere away from where I live and you get a "lover" or a "ducks", I think it's good that regional accents and sayings are still going. I thought it was a bit of a shame when bristol council banned it's workers from calling people "my lover".

OTOH if it's a bloke being a cock "calm down dear it's just a commercial" patronising type thing then I want to boot something.

As a Northerner, I love it! I love going into a shop and having conversations with virtual strangers. I am happy to be called pet, love etc and take it as a sign of warmth and friendliness, not an insult. As a professional linguist, I love the regional differences in terms of endearment. As a teacher who has around two hundred students, I use terms of endearment as a means of hiding the fact that I forgot someone's name and find that kids are happy to be addressed in this way, it seems to make them feel cared for. Just take it in the spirit in which it was meant and stop reading so much into it!

I'm not from the south. I do GET the northern English and Scottish use of 'love', 'hen', 'pet' as I grew up with all three.

On reflection I think what I object to is people affecting the use of words like 'love' and 'hun' to try and foster good client relations and doing it badly .

"OTOH if it's a bloke being a cock "calm down dear it's just a commercial" patronising type thing then I want to boot something."

Yes absolutely - that's the sort of usage that is patronising and irritating.

Dr Seuss - I think the usage you describe with your students is different, and does sound lovely.

I like it. I find it warm and friendly. And it's just as common in the south. In our Home Counties town you're most likely to be called 'duck'.

I like it; "duck" is a midlands thing, and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and part of a community.

I was in a posh hotel at October half term and the receptionist called me "mam" every time she spoke to me. It set my teeth on edge.

It only annoys me if its from somebody much younger than me, then I think its a bit patronising. I only ever say it to small children, would feel a bit odd saying it to a grown up.

Count yourself lucky, oop north Lancs way they call you cock as a term of endearment.

I like it-if they're older than me.

I like it - I grew up in Yorkshire and miss it now I live down South. Some working class Londoners (who were born there) use it too, which is A Good Thing IMO.

For the purposes of deciding whether people who care about Mrs/Ms object to 'love', I am a Ms and a feminist. Only time I object is when someone is obviously being patronising.

(I use it too - slips out occasionally always causing puzzlement from Southerners.)

Oh, and in Derbyshire you get 'me duck' which is quite sweet.

Best avoid the North West if it sets your teeth on edge. I get it everywhere, doesn't bother me a jot.

I generally like terms of endearment like this but I do find it a bit wierd coming from teenaged shop assistants But then again if they called me madam because I'm old (30!) I'd not be too chuffed either!

Doesn't bother me if they are being nice. (Why would it?)

If they are being deliberately patronising then obviously it's annoying.

Really really hate this when a bloke says it,
the number of times one wants me to buy something at the door ,and is surprised this patronising term doesnt work,is legion.

Dont mind, me duck, though .

But im an offcomer so its cute.

Pisces - not the case sorry. I am a Ms (although won't poke someone in the eye if they get it wrong), but I don't mind the nice, friendly use of these kind of words at all :)

I think it's more to do with where you grow up. Where I come from you get all the westcountryisms "my lover" "my andsome" "my cock" "my burd" and even "sexy" or "hotstuff" in shops if you know people. But also a lot of northern tourists coming along with their "duck" and "luv". So it makes me feel comfortable and at home.

Exception is men (usually ones from Manchester IME) calling you "luv" in a really aggro tone, or to be a patronising twat. But you can always tell because there's no proper smile with it.

yes, you get Duck in Nottingham.

I miss being called duck in the shops.