the term 'Yummy Mummy'

[PavlovtheCat]

I was actually rather offended when, after a nice long shower, bit of time spent moisturising, drying/styling my hair, bit of make-up, nice skinny jeans, knee high boots, and a bit of confidence for the first time for a while due to non-sleeping 11 month old I asked DH how I looked and he said

'wow you look good, yummy mummy!!' and I was so crestfallen. I felt like in that one sentence my entire personal non-child identify had been wiped out, I still was identified as 'mummy' even by my DH without children been given any consideration in how I had dressed.

He told me I have been on MN too much / thinks I am nuts.

AIBU to feel disempowered by that statement of his?

I dont think you are being unreasonable necessarily to feel disempowered - if that's how it makes you feel. But I think you should take the compliment in the spirit for which it was intended.

Otherwise he may never compliment you again!

It could be worse, I did similar a while back at work and someone said "wow you look good, for a MILF" which I think is a more disheartening term than yummy mummy. Dislike both though.

He had better compliment me again, or else we are stuffed as a couple he just now knows to say 'wow you look good' and leave it at that

ffs take a compliment when you get one!. My dh never ussually comments on how I look(good or bad) but after we had been to a party recently he said to me "that dress made your arse look HUGE.wouldnt wear it again if I were you!".
I do understand a little of what you trying to say as I feel that being a sahm has hit my confidence alot but cest la vie!.

preghead i dislike MILF too.

I also did not like my DH and one of our best male friends discussing how my welly boots were/were not FMBs while walking behind me once quite recently.

I had no idea what they were talking about, until I asked, they laughed, and told me, and thought I would be flattered that they considered me in that way at all while I was wearing black wellies

pink I did have to ask for the compliment though. It was not volunteered. He however, does compliment me, but mostly as I have looked so rough and haggard tired mother of a baby that anything that involves being clean and not wearing tracky bottoms these days constitutes 'WOW but either way, I either look like a bag of shit tired mother, or a mother who is looking good.

I would quite like to just look good.

"Yummy Mummy" is a yucky modern term which, until I actually put my brain into gear, I was even guilty of using myself.

With that in mind, I am sure your DH meant well with his compliment, and that you looked fab!

Having said that, I could never feel comfortable with it being used towards me yet I could not put a finger on why...until MN articulated it for me! But to be fair, you were asking for reassurance about your appearance (as opposed to your 'self') having made an effort whereas I object to the phrase as it implies that being a mummy precludes you from looking (and feeling) fabulous, and reinforces the pressure to look a certain way.

(again...the problem with the articulating )

I think the term 'yummy mummy' sounds incredibly dated these days - it's going the way of 'yuppies' hopefully i.e will be defunct soon!

It was a bit flippant of your dh, but I wouldn't go as far as to be offended.

YANBU but to give him the benefit of the doubt he was albeit crassly trying to compliment you

luckily I was not too offended with him, we joked about it, while he is now clear as to my view on it, it was relatively lighthearted. He also thinks I am a MILF on account of 'you are, and I do' all said with tongue in cheek i assure you but still, i wonder how much of this is really how I am now seen.

You've got to feel for blokes sometimes... they can never get it QUITE right, can they?

Mum is PART of your identity though - not your whole identity, obviously! What's that saying: 'when a child is born, two new people are born - the child and the mother'. Something along those lines!
D'you see what I mean?

I hate yummy mummy with a passion. Really grates me.

Hope you make him sleep on the sofa

the term yummy mummy amkes me want to hurl. yanbu.

Possibly because I am over 40 I find both yummy mummy and rather flattering (from my DH) - he is both acknowledging that I am attractive, and also the mother of his gorgeous boys. What's not to like?

Yummy mummy has lots of other societal connotations. I would mind.

However, I would be happy to be called a MILF. But then these days I get quite excited if any old random flirts with me. In Sainsburys the other day the assistant said in a double-entendre voice "Shall I....double bag these for you?" and I was most pleased. Or I have an overactive imagination.

nggg double bag

YABU. I would take 'Yummy Mummy' anyday over 'very nice, dear!'

I love yummy mummy, milf etc because it reminds me I grew a whole other human inside of me but it didnt change my body/looks at all and I personally love it. Maybe thats what this person was saying to you so revel in it

yabu. i'm sure he meant it in the nicest way possible.

some people hate the term but for others it's a nice reinforcement that you can be yummy and mummy.

"yummy mummy" is so yucky wucky I agree. Wash his mouth out with soap

I'm sure he meant it in a nice way too though.

I have to say I prefer MILF to yummy mummy at least MILF is not trying to be anything it is not. Where yummy mummy is women trying to make a new term for MILF and actually calling themselves it plus it makes my skin crawl.

I did wind my mother up the other day when she said jokenly in a restaurant that she is a yummy mummy (she is only 42) So I poited to my children and said as you have two of those I regret to inform you that you are no longer a yummy mummy but a GILF

I was also called a FILF the other day by some drunkard in a bar

Next time just say "I would prefer a compliment which is not so 2006. Thanks".