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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to want to stop my colleague making personal phone calls at work

59 replies

AnneBowling · 17/11/2010 15:07

I work in an office, and I have a colleague who rings his family in Egypt every day for about an hour. I work in a research environment at a university, and he's on skype so it doesn't cost money (and time isn't a big issue), but it's really hard to concentrate while he babbles away in arabic for an hour.

I know I'm not being unreasonable, but it's his only chance to ring his family because of the time difference.

The question really is how to handle this sensitively.

OP posts:
beebuzzer · 17/11/2010 17:46

Still it should be in his personal time. As said above I and I am sure many others of you have lived abroad and been in similar situations and if I had been working in a similar environment surely it is just courtesy to ask others for the thumbs up just out of respect? I am sorry but when people just take things for granted like that my respect dwidles. Revoltig is right. My husband works in software development and he always comes home telling me how annoying it is when people keep coming up and asking questions or talking loudly etc. It can be very offputting and irritating and the manager should realise that this could be effecting the results of work being done in the office.

beebuzzer · 17/11/2010 17:49

Oh and my husbands family all live in Nigeria - He would not dream of calling them from work and he even ignores calls he recieves at work from familt or friends.(apart from my own which are very short and matter of fact!)

beebuzzer · 17/11/2010 17:50

Sorry My typos are terrible tonight. runnaway fingers.

LittleMissHissyFit · 17/11/2010 17:53

Egypt is 2 hours ahead.

They are the most nocturnal people I have met.

They don't start calling anyone until about 11pm at night. My H aunties kids go round to her house most nights - with 2 DC under 7 - no earlier than 11pm.

DC never have a bed time and are literally routinely squealing and shouting at all hours of the night, 3am, 4am 5am. I am not kidding. Boys are never, ever told no, and are raised to believe that they are entitled to live exactly as they wish and women will never ever tell them what to do. Not their mothers, not their sisters and certainly not their wives.

If he wants to speak to his family etc in Egypt. literally there is no reason on gods earth why he can not do it at the END of his day. In other words he stays late to do it. In his own time. 5m is OK, but an hour? No.

Some may think what I am about to say is mean, but it honestly is true. Manners are, how can I put it, not exactly their speciality, nor is consideration for others or wondering if they might be inconveniencing anyone.

You have to tell him, STRAIGHT. No pussy footing about or talking to him in a roundabout way. Direct, and to the point and with no 'wriggle' room.

"Colleague, your hour long phone calls in the middle of my work day are disruptive. Can you please do them in your own time, when people have gone home, and you are not disturbing those around you."

He will never, ever in a million, billion years cotton on to the fact by himself, that he is irritating you to beyond murderous. Oh and even if he is some kind of genius and miraculously does work it out, there is a massive chance that his sense of male entitlement will rule out any form of self moderation.

The one good aspect of their cultural make up is that they never ever have any retort. They never answer back, and even if they do, a sprinkling of indignation from you, hold your position and they will usually just fold. Stick to your guns and you will get what you want.

Been there, seen it, lived with em, got out just short of murdering em. Grin

beebuzzer · 17/11/2010 17:55

Lol littlemisshissy sounds like you are the authority on this - well said! :)

Nancy66 · 17/11/2010 18:02

He's calling his young son - the OP said that.

So how come logging onto chat rooms isn't wasting your employers time but talking to relatives is?

beebuzzer · 17/11/2010 18:18

Logging into chatrooms is wasting time if it is in working hours but if it is at lunchtime or breaktimes and others are still working you are not actually causing disturbance to other people around you.

LittleMissHissyFit · 17/11/2010 20:06

When I lived in Brazil in 89 and 90, there were no computers, no email, only telex and fax if you were lucky.

Phone lines then were expensive and took ages to be booked and installed.

My family used to call ME once a month or so, and my Dad would call me at work. The finance director would literally hover at the end of my desk to intimidate me into ending the call as quickly as possible to free up one of the 2 lines coming into the business!

Urubu (vulture) was what I used to call him, and I coined the verb Urubuar, my Brazilian friends all adopted it! Grin

Mumcentreplus · 17/11/2010 20:22

I would say something to him..probably doesn't realise how annoying and ill-mannered it is...plus you can throw in 'You might get into trouble into the mix'..breathe deeply and confront him..you are colleagues after all..

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