... to want to stop my colleague making personal phone calls at work

[AnneBowling]

I work in an office, and I have a colleague who rings his family in Egypt every day for about an hour. I work in a research environment at a university, and he's on skype so it doesn't cost money (and time isn't a big issue), but it's really hard to concentrate while he babbles away in arabic for an hour.

I know I'm not being unreasonable, but it's his only chance to ring his family because of the time difference.

The question really is how to handle this sensitively.

Katey, I lived for 6 years abroad away from my family but I would not have taken any liberties with work or the people I worked with. If I really had a problem I would have asked my collegues if they minded and certainly would not have kept doing it everyday.

I'd be really annoyed about the Arabic - but only because i couldn't eavesdrop on the conversaion...

I've got a Columbian colleague - when she talks to her family she sounds so fired up and angry. Loads of arm waving and raised voices - then she gets off the phone and it turns out she's been talking about her mum's new bedroom curtains

LOL Nancy!

Where I work (NHS) you are not allowed to speak in any language other than English in working areas. It's seen as intimidating and unfriendly.

Daisy - really? Wow, never heard of that before.

Seems a bit harsh

I've worked in a place where you are only meant to speak English, though it was more because we were dealing with some fairly hazardous stuff, and if you weren't talking English all the time there was a chance that important information wouldn't be shared with everyone.

Daisy I think that's the way it should be. It is often rude and intimidating for others to have to listen to ther collegues gossiping between themselves in another language. We have cleaners where I work and they talk to ran other in Polish, even though they speak great English. I find it very rude when they do this- so I wish we had the same rule at work. However, I don't think the rule would apply to personal phone calls in other languages.

Op Yanbu. I hate having to listen to other peoples personal conversations. He needs to do this outside of work, it's understandable as an occasional thing but every day would drive me crazy!! Hope you mentioned it to jhim today.

That is the way it should be especially working in a hospital when people's lives are in your hands.

This makes me sad. Having lived somewhere where English was a second language, I can understand why people like to speak their own language. Of course, if it is work related you need to be clear and speak the lingua france. But I dont think it is rude and intimidating to talk in Polish about your kids or weekend with your Polish workmate just because someone else wants you to.

Daisy, I think that's a great idea. Especially as you hear of British-born people feeling left out in some organisations when there is a high proportion of immigrant labour. This isn't a rant about immigration by the way before I get flamed. It would be great for integration if it was taken for granted that you had to speak English when at work.

lingua franca, oops

Complain to your manager. Passive aggressive won't work in this scenario.

Put headphones on when he makes his free calls on Skype at work at the only time of day he can talk to his family may be?

I can't believe people think the OP should complain to her manager.

Imagine if you were in a foreign country and spoke to your family once a day (the only time you could) in your first language and your colleagues complained and tried to stop you.

What Tatty Devine said.

I think it would be mean to object. I can see you find it distracting, but in a shared office environment everyone probably does something that irritates someone else in the office.

The only people who may have an issue with this are the employers, who are paying him to work, but if he is making up the time then I see no real difference between him doing this and others surfing the net at work.

Nancy, sorry, disagree.

I am an academic and work in a shared office and it is a delicate situation. Generally speaking, it is not the kind of work you can dip in and out of, or do with one eye on the screen, iykwim. You have to be firmly concentrated on what you are doing for long periods of time (she says, lurking on MN... ).

But seriously OP he is taking the mick. If 3-4 is his lunch hour, great, but he is using up your research time. I have a colleague who natters away to me and sometimes it is really annoying, but luckily he listens to signals like, 'That's really funny; god, this sodding lecture, taking ages to write, must get on with it....'. Also, I collaborate with people in the US, so I have to have phone/ Skype meetings for work reasons - and I always check with my colleagues before doing this because it might mess up their work for the day.

Most acad depts have a 'floating' laptop. If there is one, get him to borrow it, and go to the campus coffee shop. Should have Wifi.

karma, the point is he is making noise which is distracting to others. I totally get that it might seem precious to people who work in busy, lively offices, but academic offices are generally 'rooms of one's own' precisely because lots of acad work takes intense concentration and being interrrupted means you can't complete a task.

It is, for example, totally accepted practice at my workplace for people to turn off desk phones, shut down email, and not answer their doors when they are doing research. Because they need the silence/ isolation to concentrate.

OP, yanbu, but do be nice to the guy; not like he's ringing up chatlines.

Nancy but do you need to speak to the family EVERY day? what does the fella do on his days off or when he is on leave?
Why can't he skype from home as the time difference isn't vast?

I think people who excpect absolute silence in an office environment are being unrealistic.

I'd rather eat my own eyes then talk to my family every day for an hour - but this is somebody that does want to talk to his.

YANBU it is work. No manager would put up with people having hour-long personal conversations at work, especially if it's distracting others. Every day, as well.

I think it really depends on what your job is. If you are a heart surgeon, no one would say you are being unrealistic to ask people to zip it in theatre. If you work in a call centre, obv yabu. I guess my point is that normally, the culture in most academic depts (that I've been in) is that the office is a place for quiet study (and MNing, clearly...).

At the end of the day, this guy is stopping the OP from doing her work due to the incursion of his personal life. It's sad for him, but shouldn't be compromising the OP's workday.

Errrr why dont you just speak to him about it and tell him its distracting?

I's rather my colleagues were upfront rather than seeting behind my back over something

'Imagine if you were in a foreign country and spoke to your family once a day (the only time you could) in your first language and your colleagues complained and tried to stop you.'

My dh worked abroad for 2 years and called me when he was back at his flat in the evenings. He did not call me from work. It's taking the piss on the employers time.