to wander what kate will do on her hen night?

[VinegarTits]

i guess a week in shaggaluf will be out?

Will Trevor want any of the buffet?

She can wear this and this.
I'm reserving these for her Madge.

i doubt it, he'll be too busy to eat

...plenty of serviettes then?

i think she might get a few of her mates round to a pole dancing lesson during the day, not the queen though, she's not as flexible these days i imagine

While she's driving through London in her stretch hummer, with lambrini and pink cowboy hat and "Mrs Wills" sash, shouting Wooooooooooooooooooooo! - she'll be able to wave to us peasants as we country dance up and down the Mall and touch our forelocks as she drives past, full of joy at their approaching nuptials. Want to borrow Trevor when she's finished with him.

Personally, I try not to imagine the Queen doing things requiring flexibility.

Can you imagine the Queen stuffing fivers down a strippers thong? "oh look! look where my face is goign!"

i rreckon she will hog the baby oil thats for sure!

What about music?

'i got a feeling, tonight gonna be a good night...' to start off with

Dancing Queen by Abba, defo

... rolling in steaming drunk to one of the Royal palaces and asking the Royal Butler (Oi! Garcon!) to rustle her up a doner 'bab with extra chilli sauce.

and extra garlic

She won't be short on party bags and paper plates anyway

Shit - I thought I'd be able to make a few bob on the paper plates etc. This could affect by per head pricing. What if I throw in karaoke? Could that swing it?

So, should we send a link to this thread to the Palace and await The Royal Call?

I bet if we don't mess this up, we might be organising the wedding, all baby showers, any coronations they have going and a couple of birthday parties.

I think we reek of clars!!! Very professional, brimming with ideas - its got winner written all over this.

can you just 'call' the palace? wont we have to write in and have some kind of logo'ed note paper with 'hens r us'?

we could throw in a few voluvants and a bottle of cava as a taster? to help them decide and send pics of stretch limo, pink hat, Trevor, so they know how much trouble we have gone to

tough call.

We'll need to design and get logoed paper, which may take time, but then we'll look more professional. what to do what to do ...

what we will need to do is be prepared to go over there, and show them what we can do. Anyone got a pole and male stripper lying around? I'd volunteer DP but a) I'm the only one who gets to see him naked and b) he's not a very good dancer. Tends to do a kind of jumpy thing, that could potentially be very disturbing if done in a leopard print thong.

i already have 'Trevor'

I'm already in clipart as we speak

I will Survive on the playlist, for end of the night when she is crying with mascara down her face and saying "I fucking love Wills".

Oh, and Willy straws.

willy straws, Lizzy how could we have missed them off the list

More Lizzy! What else have we missed?

I think we need melon balls. Tis a well clarsy and sniggersome dessert.

L-plates