to want to deck DH if he gives me another philosophy article to read?

[sethstarkaddersmum]

I have dcs aged 1, 3 and 5 and am a SAHM.

Dh is very clever and very intellectual. I was too once but now I am about as intelligent as a chicken and have a shorter attention span. More to the point, I have several dcs to look after. In the course of composing this post I will have been interrupted approximately 15 times.

He is currently obsessed by bloody sodding Feuerbach (19th century religious philosopher who George Eliot liked) and has been on at me and on at me to read a particular article online. The other day he even printed out a copy and brought it home, which the baby has now shredded and eaten.

AIBU to think the fact that he thinks I can read nineteenth century German philosophers whilst looking after a baby and a toddler means he hasn't got a f*cking clue what my life is like? And to wish he would stop rubbing in the fact that he is still clever and I am not and that he gets to read and write all day?

And if I ANBU, should I throw a very heavy volume of German philosophy at him? Or would cooking it for dinner be a good idea?

IT Serna? IT Serna? WTF is that?

My apologies for my phone using predictive texting. I meant to say: It seems to me...

And while you're at it why don't you both do an online test of the 7 intelligences? IQ is a crap measure of intelligence but the 7 will give you both a more balanced view of your brains.

strawberry my DH has a similar attitude, but not to my work (I am a SAHM), to my reading list. At night, I retire with my iPhone to catch up on MN, while he thinks I should be sinking my teeth into a meaty bit of fiction.

I agree (oh dear, I am getting tired of doing this, I might as well be a nodding dog) with Fennel. Small children rot the brain. They sap the will to do anything (frequently, IME, even breathe).

IME blokes who want to you to Take An Interest In Their Clever Work are quite wearing in any case, it must be said. I spent many years of my life doing the Oh Yes How Interesting Act. Then I took up with Mr Inferior, who does something I can never quite work out, and reads car magazines and science fiction...

I am so jealous my DH only talks about football, eats and goes to sleep.

I am a philosopher, of sorts, and it is bloody impossible to read philosphy with a child in the room. I tried it last night when DH was late home from work and I had to get a paper out before deadline. I am sure that is why there are so few female philosophers and the ones that are didn't have children. Once you become a parent it is more about doing than sitting and thinking.

And I have SIX articles in my inbox from my DH on various academic topics too that he keeps asking me if I have read yet.

I feel your pain.

I fear I didn't do Mr Inferior justice, by the way. He's actually pretty clever and apparently pretty good at whatever it is that he does. But he doesn't try and bash me over the head with it. Unlike Previous Boyfriends I Could Name

He actually has read the feminist book club book, to be fair. And we have talked about it.

The trouble with wanting to reduce his brain to the same level as mine by more nappy-changing as Fennel suggests is that the family income depends on his brain functioning the way it doesn't depend on mine. He actually feels like his brain has been reduced a lot by children - and he was the one who had the worse night last night (ds1 hysterical and only wanted daddy) and for him Feuerbach etc is the easy option - I grant that it is probably easier than the mathematical stuff he does at work involving complex calculations and the universe having 27 dimensions or however many it is.

It was easier to manage the brain-decay when we both had jobs.

God I love the idea of getting him to look after the kids for an hour while I go to a cafe with the Feuerbach article! Brilliant!

Mummyberryjuice - thank you

I can't get to the meet-up that was being mooted outside York but another one in the city would be great.

From my (extremely limited) explorations of philosophy it seems to me to be crucial to have uninterrupted time to get to grips with it. In no way compatible with a household full of children. Quint has the solution, but be warned, it's only a matter of time before the children join in with demands for an explanation of, say, complex numbers, or why a Tiger tank was an inferior machine to a T34, which is basically the same tactic, IME

I think he sounds sweet but misguided. He's obviously trying to share something with you that he's passionate about, and most likely has no idea that it's alienating you instead. IOW, a bit like the cat I used to have who would leap out at me in a prickly way from under the bed when I had no shoes or socks on, he's just trying to communicate.

Whoever said to ask him to summarise it over a glass of wine once the kids are asleep is wise, I think.

Oh god, the last thing I would want after the kids have gone to sleep is my DH summarising a Feuerbach article.

It might beat having to actually read it...

True. And with a glass of wine any is tolerable.

I meant, anything is tolerable

Ask him to give you the potted version while you're cooking/bathing the kids/tidying up etc.

That way, he can see how much work you're doing already, might find himself helping without realising it, and also having a conversation with you (which may well consist of you saying 'what does that imply/mean/suggest?' lots of times, but will make him feel like a big gorilla-man).

xpost but diff circs

the problem with that Jux is that when I have three small people yacking in my ear all at once the last thing I can cope with is a big person doing it as well

And Jux, I know many a man who could stand by his hardworking wife yakking away without lifting a finger except to gesticulate.

he would be helping. He's not that bad.

Sorry sethstark... but just want to check that I read your post right: you say your DH is of the school of thought that there are 27 dimensions? It's got bloody 28! Thick bastard.

Deepheat and Quint -- I love your posts!

Seth -- don't worry about your brain. It will bounce back. Dealing with small children non-stop for the time being will help you develop more ruthlessness than you ever thought possible when it comes to feeding your brain when you eventually have the time. And yes, your DCs will prod you back into it more than your DH eventually.

I have finally understood many, many mathematical concepts after spending hours puzzling through homework with the DCs and I'm also speaking as the mum of a DS(17) who is really into very small details of all things related to military history. I have managed to amass a huge vocabulary about military history and the minutiae of tanks and various calibres of weapons (and a genuine appreciation for the finer qualities of the T-34). The sort of stuff that would make my eyes glaze over years ago in other words, but DS and I can chat away now.

Pottonista -- my cat does the same thing and I think it's exactly what the DH here is doing.

SpeedyGonzalez, so do I (dh for a start!), but you can pass them things "hold that", "just rinse dd's hair while I do this" etc and some of them don't even notice that actually they've done a huge amount!

Luckily sethstarkadder's other half would help (and if he doesn't just do the above).

Yes, lucky Seth with a helpful DH!

Jux, you're more patient than me. It really gets on my nerves to have to give those kind of specific instructions to a person with no initiative.

ooooh, I fear Gizmo is right, but YOUR children will have your husband to explain negative numbers (aged 5 1/2), and marvel at why there are no biggest number, together with... Unlike my children, who only have me and poor old dh (who I might add is a keen hobby quantum physicist ), to answer how come Jesus does not come out in his Jesus snatcher space ship to pick up the souls of dead people as they ascend through the skies. Joy.