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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go mad with DS because he left his brand new coat at cubs. He has form on this.

41 replies

LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:13

£ 39 new winter coat

Left at cubs

I went mad. Tears and apologies.

This is the 3rd coat he has lost in the last 3 months. He is going to school without tomorrow.

AIBU to expect an 8 year old to remember his coat?

OP posts:
reallytired · 16/11/2010 21:15

You need to sew labels in his coat. If the coat is clearly labelled then you will get it back.

Eight year olds are dozy creatures. They would lose their heads if they weren't attached!

bubbleOseven · 16/11/2010 21:16

who picked him up from cubs? Coz if it was you, then you're the dozy one Grin

redskyatnight · 16/11/2010 21:20

If the cub leader is anything like me (when I was a brownie leader) they will have swept (as in checked all over, nothing to do with broooms) the building and picked up any "left behind" items. Can you ring them and see if they have it?

Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:20

Thanks bubble Hmm - it wasn't me. And even if it was, an eight year old should notice they didn't have a coat on when they stepped outside tonight. It's freezing.

Dozy ain't doing it for me now. I am livid.

We will probably get it back. But it is possible we will not. Are you just expected to keep on buying coats??

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:22

I have phoned yes, thanks redsky. There is puppy training in at 5 tomorrow so it will probably still be there.

I have a feeling he will get his sorry arse to lost property at school tomorrow too so we will probably have 3 coats back tomorrow.

OP posts:
onceamai · 16/11/2010 21:22

Mine is the same - now 15. At 13 I bought him a really naff one for 10 quid from ASDA. The lesson was fast. Didn't stop him leaving bus pass and keys at home last Friday. Very cold and wet on doorstep when I got home at 6 having had to walk 3 miles from school in pouring rain. Has had both every morning since.

It is painful - buy cheap ones.

Pannacotta · 16/11/2010 21:24

I agree with oncemai, if he is scatty then best to buy cheap coats, and label everything.

Goblinchild · 16/11/2010 21:24

Occupational hazard of parenting, especially if the child is male. If you label everything clearly then the chances are you will get stuff back. At 8 I'd still be reminding them, and checking, I do at school.
Cubs is usually a lively event, he's hot and tired so YABU.

Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:27

It is labelled, but wasn't cheap Hmm

This does my head in

And I remind him before he goes now - don't come back without your coat.

I don't see what male has to do with it TBH. Have some fucking respect whatever gender you are !!

OP posts:
lojolecs · 16/11/2010 21:29

YANBU to be annoyed but YABU to reduce him to tears

Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:32

Yeah feel bad about the tears.

But what else can you do? Sitting down nicely explaining that mummy and daddy work hard to buy you a nice winter coat, and so you must respect that, doesn't seem to do much good. Sad

OP posts:
LetThereBeRock · 16/11/2010 21:33

Of course it's frustrating and painful to have paid out for a new coat,only for your ds to lose it,but you're really overreacting,and expecting a lot of an 8 year old when there are plenty of adults who are always losing things,and I'm one of them.

LetThereBeRock · 16/11/2010 21:34

It has nothing to do with a lack of respect.He's 8 ffs. He's forgetful,many people are.

cruelladepoppins · 16/11/2010 21:34

Aaargh I have a boy like this. Hasn't forgotten coat yet but invariably leaves gloves and hats at school. Am threatening to attach gloves to a cord through his sleeves, grrrr.

YANBU to go mad. But YABU to ask if you are expected to keep buying coats - he can't go without a coat in the winter really! If you don't get any of the coats back, I wd buy a cheap one (charity shop? sale? handmedown?)

I got a really good wintry coat from a mountain warehouse sale for £15 - I wouldn't like to be replacing coats too often, but if I had to, that's the kind of price I would be looking at. You could warn him the next one he loses gets docked from [insert treat here]. Maybe IABU now ...

Poor wee man!

mumeeee · 16/11/2010 21:37

YABU to expect an eight year old to remember his coat. DD3 18 still leaves stuff everywhere.

Ragwort · 16/11/2010 21:37

Why buy an eight year old such an expensive coat?

I have never bought my ten year old DS a brand new coat - he has an assortment of charity shop/hand me downs etc. If you can't bear to shop in second hand places then just buy him one from Asda or make him buy his own. It's madness to spend so much on a child's coat (especially if he has lost other items).

I 'found' a lovely coat in a church hall once, I asked and asked who it might belong to but no one ever claimed it (and I put a notice up) - another coat for my son Grin.

Goblinchild · 16/11/2010 21:38

OK.
Then he's a lazy, stupid, inconsiderate little brat who should be responsible for his own stuff and at 8 is probably able to dress as an elf and work an 18 hour day to pay back his poor, overburdened mother for the coat he discarded without a second thought.
Was that the response you wanted OP?

Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:38

See I think it is a lack of respect. To think that it doesn't matter if you don't look after your things is wrong.

You don't have much to remember when you are 8.

Of course I will get him another one if it doesn't turn up. But it will be a shit one.

OP posts:
PinkIceQueen · 16/11/2010 21:39

Oh so definately buy cheap stuff with great BIG labels. My (now 16 year old) ds, lost four, yes FOUR, P.E. kits in his first year at secondary school! Also countless blazers/phones/keys etc etc Angry

I can't even remember the amount of stuff he lost at primary school. He often arrrives home soaking wet too.

It's frustrating, yanbu to be cross, but it's not your sons fault imho.

DS2 (10) is not quite as bad, thank god!

LetThereBeRock · 16/11/2010 21:40

Did he say he didn't care that he lost it? If not what evidence is there to show that it's a lack of respect.

I lose things constantly. It's not because I don't respect my belongings but because I have a very bad memory.
Now I do have a condition which affects things like my memory,but there are plenty of people out there who are simply forgetful.It doesn't mean they're disrespectful.

frasersmummy · 16/11/2010 21:40

didnt whoever pick him up say.. its freezing dont you have a coat.

Didnt cub leader say as he left..its freezing dont you have a coat with you

Yes he should remember but so should the adults responsible for him

huddspur · 16/11/2010 21:42

YABU to get so angry with him that he was in tears by the end

TechLovingDad · 16/11/2010 21:45

DD is 6 and has no appreciation for any of her possessions. Coats, hats, scarves get left everywhere, toys are dropped around like pieces of rubbish. Her answer? "You can just buy me a new one". No, we can't, so tough.

Original poster
LadyBlaBlah · 16/11/2010 21:47

It is interesting that the tears are a problem (for me included)

Are kids nor supposed to cry when they are told off anymore??

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 16/11/2010 21:47

Don't think you're supposed to tell kids off anymore.