to go mad with DS because he left his brand new coat at cubs. He has form on this.

[LadyBlaBlah]

£ 39 new winter coat

Left at cubs

I went mad. Tears and apologies.

This is the 3rd coat he has lost in the last 3 months. He is going to school without tomorrow.

AIBU to expect an 8 year old to remember his coat?

I feel your pain.

I told DS1 off this evening for losing a vital fleece zip-in insert from a coat he has grown out of, that I now want to hand on to DS2. Bear in mind I have about 10 boxes of carefully labelled hand me down clothes for all eventualities and I am very anal about such things.

He retorted with "It was Year 5 mum. I am now in Year 8. Someone else took it home and never brought it back. We have all left the school. Can we move on now?"

He has a point.

BTW I would have given my kids a complete pasting for losing a new coat and they would have paid about 2 weeks' pocket money towards a replacement.

"Are kids nor supposed to cry when they are told off anymore??"

Depends if you are telling them off for being naughty or just for making a mistake.

It has sod all to do with telling kids off,and yes Techdad,you're still allowed to do that.

Some kids will cry at the drop of a hat,so the tears wouldn't concern me too much, but the way you're talking about him on here does suggest that you went a bit too far.
You seem convinced that he did it to spite you. I think you're expecting too much of him.

I know DD doesn't do things to spite me. But she doesn't care about her things at all, she assumes new ones will appear out of thin air. She gets tearful when she realises she can no longer have the thing that is lost.

Not to spite me

He has form for this. It's unnecessary. Its lazy. It's not too much to expect.

Again some people are naturally forgetful. Again even adults, many adults forget and lose their belongings.

You're not going to be happy until he flagellates himself are you?

Actually, I am quite forgetful, I get that.

But the previous lack of remorse (like Techdad's dd) has been too much to bear

Maybe after tonight he might be better. As I said before, he will probably get his sorry arse to lost property at school tomorrow and find all the other stuff he has 'forgotten'

Although, flagellation sounds good too

You didn't mention the lack of remorse earlier. I can only go on what you say,and that wasn't mentioned though even then I think children of that age aren't really able to appreciate the expense and inconvenience that results from losing belongings.

I hope you get all of the items back.

Hmm, DSS2 (age 9) is a nightmare for this, both at mine and his mums. He lost his coat at school last year and then left the coat his Mum bought him at the park. We agreed between us that he would earn the money back that it cost me to replace his coat.

He did a lot of washing up, hoovering and washed the car. Was moaning about how much he had to do, so I pointed out what he would earn for a couple of hours work at adult minimum wage. He swiftly stopped moaning and we have had no more lost stuff.

No shouting, no crying but he grasped the lesson that he would work for the amount of hours that his Dad has to work to buy him a new coat.

You see I would be annoyed but I wouldn't take it personally, it's not an issue of respect he was just involved in what he was doing and forgot all about his coat. I agree with the pp who said that the responsble adults involved should have checked to make sure he had it before he left.

Has the coat turned up yet?

YANBU. I would be furious as well, especially if it was the third lost coat in three months, and if he wasn't sorry.

I don't buy the 'forgetful' argument - some people are more forgetful then others but they can learn not to be forgetful.

Nothing to do with respect - the brains of 8 year olds are still developing.

All that shaming is OTT - he's only 8.

I expect the cubs leader didn't ask because s/he is so used to the kids not having coats with them.

I work at a junior school and even in November, the number of children who come without a coat is startling.

Year 4 are going on a local walk next week and we have had to send a special letter asking parents to make sure their child has a waterproof coat with them on Monday - even with the letter no doubt there will be a couple who won't have one..

I keep a stash of kagols in class, outgrown by my own children. I agree that's it's ridiculous how many children are in school without any sort of coat, despite endless requests.
They are out at breaktimes if it is raining lightly, without a coat they get very cold.