DD weighed without my consent, I think

[geisha]

And should I do anything about it?

When Dd2 started school in September, we were given a consent form to sign for the routine assessment that all reception children can have which ultimately generates a letter to tell you whether your child is normal or below or above average weight. We did not want DD2 to undergo this assessment due to our past experience with DD1 and circled the appropriate section of the form and signed it. However, I have today found out that she has been weighed and her height measured. On the one hand there has been no harm done, but on the other hand we witheld our consent and she has undergone this assessment against our wishes. Could therre be any other reason to weigh her and WWYD?

Seriously?

Was it one of those letters that assumes consent unless you sign it to say otherwise - maybe they didn't receive it?

Why would you not cooperate with a health check?

YABU

What would I do? Nothing, that's what. It doesn't matter. no harm done, as you said.

Have you nothing better to worry about?

I think you are within your rights to be a bit miffed but really there hasn't been any harm done. If you felt it necessary you could write to the school saying you felt X that your child was weighed without your consent and you would appreciate XXX.

My DD was weighed and measured when she was in reception by some older children as part of their maths class (one child in each year weighed and measured)

Why did you not consent?

YANBU. You witheld consent, for whatever reason. You have the right to do that or they wouldn't ask you in the first place. Your wish was ignored, and that is wrong. I would ask the school to clarify the situation, was the thing you witheld consent for definately this assesment?

I have issues about this tbh.

Of course there was no harm done, and those that say YABU are right (ish)

But... you withheld your consent and they did it anyway.

What if you withhold consent for photos to be published in the paper or on t'internet and they do that anyway - is that ok?

I would be tempted to have a quick word with the school to make sure that they know what your wishes are so other, perhaps more important things you haven't consented to aren't done anyway.

There is likely no harm done, but the bottom line is that you withheld your consent and you have your reasons for doing that. They violated that, and therefore YANBU. I would ask very informally what happened. Direct the questions at the class teacher in the first instance and take it further if you need to.

Just to put this in a little bit of context. I heard of a child who was vaccinated at school against the parents wishes.

I woiuld be pissed off. As others have said, it doesn't matter what the issue is, you witheld your consent and they did it anyway. That's not acceptable.

Could it have been a class project rather than health screening?

I've heard about that too phipps, and that's what sprung to my mind as well. If they don't abide by parents wishes for something like this, it does concern me they would ignore/forget about consent for more serious things.

This incident is pretty minor, but then what is the point of the consent form if they ignore it? I would worry what other consent forms they would overlook, if it was generally their way to go ahead same routine for all. They may not have, like phipps said, vaccinated without consent this time, but it suggests they have the potential to do so.

My secondary school gave me a load of vaccinations as part of a routine thing they did with all new students, but it turned out I had already had them, they never checked, just did everyone.

I would not be happy for my children to be weighed and measured at school. Monitoring their health and weight is my job, and our GP's.

I would not give my consent and if they did it anyway, I would ask that they destroy the record, not send it to any central data centre and most importantly, not to do it again.

Lessons learned and all that.

i agree i dont remember having such a form, but I do not want my dd weighed at school.

I think it is wrong that this is done. I can understand that some parents do not take adequate measures to monitor childrens weight/health etc but i belive it is the job of the gp.

i remember being very slightly over weight as a child, had same diet and excersise as 4 siblings who ranged from under weight to normal weight. I hated it. It made my weight a topic of converstaion with other children and reinforced some bullying.

As for these letters that are sent out the bin is the best place for them. my friends dd recived a letter saying she was borderline obesse and needs to go on a diet. A 5 year old on a diet. it is a joke. this little girl looks rather normal weight.

Thanks for all of your responses.
Mrspickles hit the nail on the head really. It is to do with those letters. More to do with the fact that We were asked to consent, we didn't but it was carried out anyway. As I said, really no harm done but makes me wonder about the systems in place in school. In the NHS we take consent very seriously for everything from taking A BP to surgery. Slightly different I know, but that's my perspective.

Werewolf it was a letter that I signed at the new parents induction evening and handed back in with her admission form at the time. We had to delete as appropriate to express that we agreed or did not agree to the assessment and the subsequent submission of data etc.

Moondog, I have plenty of other things to worry about as we all do, but thought it would be good to get some other perspectives on this. I asked in AIBU because I wondered whether I am being a bit, you obviously think I am and I thank you for your perspective.

I'm with the others, no harm done in this instance but at them just ignoring your refusal. Hope you will update after talking to the teacher.

YANBU. The whole poing of asking for consent is to, y'know, see whether people consent to something or not... I believe this is technically assault (although I don't expect you'd want to actually pursue that angle, it could be worth pointing it out - if the school carry on doing this kind of thing then someday someone is going to end up in hot water). IMO the fact that no harm was done is not relevant.

I would mention it to the school secretary. I've just signed one for DS and have no problems with doing so but if you are asked for consent then they shouldn't do it unless you consent. Maybe they just assumed everyone would have said yes and it's worth them being aware that's not the case for the future.

Both my DDs are slim, strong and healthy- good diet and loads of exercise/ dancing etc.

Both of them were horrified at the thought of being weighed at school in year 6 and as I saw no need for it. What exactly would it have achieved? The way they calculate BMI for children is known to be wildly inaccurate particularly for muscular children (which mine both are due to years of dance classes.)

I worried what receiving a letter from the nurse incorrectly telling me my dds had a problem with their weight might do to their self esteem.

I would have been very angry if the school had gone against my wishes and done it anyway.

Did they have underlying concerns about your DD's weight?