DD weighed without my consent, I think

[geisha]

And should I do anything about it?

When Dd2 started school in September, we were given a consent form to sign for the routine assessment that all reception children can have which ultimately generates a letter to tell you whether your child is normal or below or above average weight. We did not want DD2 to undergo this assessment due to our past experience with DD1 and circled the appropriate section of the form and signed it. However, I have today found out that she has been weighed and her height measured. On the one hand there has been no harm done, but on the other hand we witheld our consent and she has undergone this assessment against our wishes. Could therre be any other reason to weigh her and WWYD?

My school nurse has told me that she routinely has girls bursting into tears when she weighs Y6 children. Most children in reception are more or less the same size, but by the time Y6 come there is a huge variation in the shape and sizes of the class, and particularly the girls. She spends most of her time reassuring the girls that their shape is normal for them, especially those that have reached puberty. Some of the more developed girls have a terrible body image. Many of the less developed girls are also stressing about why they have not got boobs yet.

I know that children are going to stress about their weight even if they are not weighed, and I suppose if you have a good nurse that has time to discuss feelings individually and sensitively with children then weighing may not be a bad thing. However, we all know that when you have 30 children to get through this is probably not going to happen, no matter how experienced the nurse is.

Glad you aint got nothing else to worry or moan about.

Why should she be different from teh other kids, maybe she wanted to participate? it is after all only her weight and height, could have been a school project.

Step away from the panic pills and take a chill pill instead.

geisha - YANBU.

My DS1 and all his class had their finger prints taken and stored on a central computer with no warning or consent asked for. We were livid when he told us. Apparently it happened in quite a lot of schools we later found out. This was about 6 years ago not sure if they still do it but have warned DS2 to refuse to take part.

On the measurement issue we gave consent for that ( DS2) but the nurse just put him on the 50th percentile line for both height and weight, despite him being on the 25th for height and less for weight, as he had just been very poorly, when I measured him at home.

I think it is absolutely outrageous that school medical still go on in this day and age. There are so many pitfalls. Medical examinations should only take place with a doctor a person (adult or child) knows and trusts.

There are some people on this thread who really don't get the concept of 'consent'. Just be glad when you're in hospital that most NHS staff do!

melodyangel - that sounds like a library issuing system - to reassure you, what is stored is not actually a fingerprint, but a number derived from (usually six) points on a thumb.

However, I don't think the school should have taken it without permission, even though to do so isn't illegal at the moment, though David Cameron has said he has plans to make it illegal.

When we installed the system we asked every parent, and did not take images from those whose parents refused; they have to use a barcode instead. (In fact the barcode reader we got with the package is pretty crappy and only works about one in five times, so we actually tend to use the barcodes anyway)

My dd had the fingerprint taken for the library but we had to give consent first. It is a library issuing system.

I had problems when my DD was weighed at school so I can understand why someone wouldn't want their child weighed. My DD is tall and slim but we got the letter back saying she was overweight. When I looked into it they had measured her wrong and listed her as 3 inches shorter than she actually was and when I took her to the doctor to have her weighed and measured properly she was actually on the borderline of being underweight

I will get DD2 weighed at school but will certainly be checking the results thoroughly.

It is wrong that they should do these things without consent though, if you don't want to participate for whatever reason, they shouold respect that.

YANBU, it's a matter of trust, you refused consent for something, the school went and did it anyway. There's really no excuse for this. Consent is important in healthcare and in education, can you imagine the uproar if a parent refused consent for something else, a school trip, video or photos being published, an innoculation, a sex ed class, etc. and the school ignored it.

The relative importance or 'harm done' of/by the weighing and measuring is completely irrelevant. The consent is the issue, and there is really no defence for what they did.

D

Tatty what a sad story :(

Agree with whoever said that kids will still slip through the net. Parents will continue to be in denial.

DH has been trying for a few years to get his exW to realise their DD is overweight. And just to get her to eat a bit better and run around more (which she does with us BTW). exW has confirmation of this from the school weighing thing. But she still won't do anything about it.

Interestingly their other DD has always struggled with being underweight. Apparently last time they weighed themselves the scales must have got it wrong on both counts.

It's the nanny state gone mad I tell you!

I too have refused to have any weight/height tests done for DS1 (currently in reception). I have agreed to eyesight/hearing though.

The reason I've declined height and weight is because I think the state interferes too much in people's lives and also Ds1 has epilepsy which means his height and weight are done at hospital every 6 months anyway to keep his medication correct. Also epilepsy medication can affect your weight and appetite so it would be difficult for us to do much about his weight anyway. An arsey letter telling me he was too fat would just make me want to kill someone.

I think it's worth approaching the school to ask and just to check that they are checking consent forms properly.

No harm done this time, but my sister was mistakenly given the MMR jab because our (private) school had not checked the consent forms. My parents had withheld consent because of the measles element's effect on her epilepsy. She had a massive fit that evening, her first in three years.

moondog Have you nothing better to worry about?

classydiva Glad you aint got nothing else to worry or moan about.

RunawayChristmasTree Get over it they weighed her not sold her to a pedophile ring

How fucking rude you are. There are lots of things that could be done to your child without consent that don't involve her being sold to a paedophile ring, does that make them all ok? Twat.

As has been amply pointed out on this thread, it's an issue of consent, and the school has no business doing anything to your child that you have not consented to.

Of course YANBU, OP. I wouldn't dream of letting the school weigh my child; her weight has nothing to do with them. If the school has a health concern about a child, they should inform the child's GP or write to the parents.

We also had this form in reception and like you we said no. DD has serious medical problems and we felt that anyone not knowing her full medical history may misinterupt the results. We see enough specialists regarding her health without adding another one.

We signed the form to say no, also included a letter stating that we did not want her to be included in this and then sent a copy to the school and sent a copy back to the health people.

As far as we know DD has not been included. While it isn't the end of the world this has been done I don't think you are NBU to expect your wishes to be adhered to.

Makes me wonder about vaccinations etc as mentioned.

I don't think YABU. The point is they gave you the option, and ignored your choice. What it was over makes very little difference IMO.

I would bring it up with the school.

YANBU. I would say something to the school.

Personally hate the idea of weighing a child at school - too much emphasis on weight.

YANBU OP - they asked, you said no, they did it anyway - point of asking was what then?

I'd speak to teacher and address the consent issue.

Same thing happened to me I refused consent actively but it was done anyway.
Rather shamefully it is on my to do list to write and complain (It has only just happened!)
I received a letter telling me that my bony child whose ribs can be seen through their skin is borderline obese

confirmed my opinion that it is a total waste of money

Update: mentioned my concern to class teacher this morning who was very apologetic and said she would look into it and get back to me. Having spoken to the relevant person at the PCT, apparently they weigh/measure all children but don't submit the data to the relevant national database for those children whose parents opted out (not sure I necessarily believe this. Why weigh them then?) I gather the consent forms are handed to the nurse and so in that sense the school aren't to blame as such. I probably will leave it at that unless I get any letters expressing concern about DD's weight! I would say she is completely normal so I am not worried about her weight but I don't agree with this assessment programme in schools and don't therefore didn't consent. If it is still going when she gets to year 6, we will definitely be opting out again for both DD's. Thanks for sharing your stories and I'm glad to know that I'm not being totally unreasonable!

Well I work on the submission side of these forms, and we do get asked how many opted out, so it is provided for, in that sense

If you have refised consent carrying on anyway is possibly assault? Certainly would be looked upon very seriously be their registration body.
The form was crytal clear in my mind. I refused consent for them to be weighed. If you've had a letter you can bet it's been recorded somewhere