AIBU not to want visitors arriving at 11pm on a Monday night?

[Petal02]

It?s my husband?s birthday on Tuesday. My Dad, who?s retired, rang me today, to ask if he could drop a birthday present off at our house late this evening, and asked what time we went to bed ?.. I said we try to be in bed for 10.30pm on work nights,
?That?s no problem? was the response, ?I?ll call in at about 11pm, I?ll be passing your door as I?ll be on my way back from your brother?s house ???.?

Now am I being unreasonable not to want visitors at 11pm on a Monday night when we?ve both got work in the morning? Even though (a) it?s my Dad; and (b) he will be almost passing our door? He had all weekend to drop off a present if it was so urgent, and whilst I appreciate it?s a very kind thought, I really DO NOT want anyone visiting at that time of night. Obviously if he does arrive tonight, it would be polite to invite him in and offer him a drink, so he?ll probably still be with us at midnight.

He did ask if he could call round on Tuesday night instead, but we won?t be home as we?re going out for a celebratory dinner.

I tried very tactfully to put him off, but he didn?t take the hint. I?m now so cross that I?ve given myself a headache. My Dad?s a lovely guy, but since retiring, he?s got plenty of time on his hands, and assumes everyone else has too ???..

AIBU ?????

YANBU. Say no, and if he insists, ignore the door.

Ask him to drop the present off on the way to your brother's and not on the way back.

YANBU. Call him back and tell him that 11pm is too late, can he not drop by on the way TO your brother's house instead, otherwise come Wednesday?

If it is on his way back from your brother's house, can he not drop it off on his way round there instead? Or just tell him that will be too late and that your OH doesn't mind getting it next weekend, that way you can spend a bit of time with your Dad rather than it just being a flying visit.

I did ask him if he wanted to call in on the way to my brothers, instead of on the way back, but he said he's leaving around 4pm, and neither of us finish work til at least 5pm - so that wouldn't work.

I suggested getting together next weekend, but he's adamant he wants my husband to have his gift on time, which is really kind, but not on a 'school night' !!!!!

It's only half an hour, if you answer the door in your dressing gown then it will be clear you can't invite him in.
A bit annoying but I'd let it go. Of course if he turns up at midnight and then finds a pretext to come in for a chat the you'd be justified in being v pissed off.
(caveat: I'm a night owl, so 11pm doesn't feel too late to me).

Hello MrsPrice, maybe it's just me being a grumpy old bag! Our alarm clock goes off at 6am, and we both need our sleep!

If you think it's too late then it is too late. I would be inclined to do the opening the door in my dressing gown though

Have you got any curlers? I'd go for the full Mrs Andy Capp stylie just to ensure he gets the message...

Is there nowhere it could be safely left for an hour?

Diddl - I nearly asked him if he could leave it on the doorstep, but that felt a bit rude, almost like 'we want the present, but we're not bothered about seeing you.' I shall indeed be answering the door in my dressing gown!

YANBU Don't forget to yawn as you open the door.

well I'd be asleep, but I would make it to the door (provided they rang bell long/loud enough), extend hand for package, say "thanks Dad, see you soon" & go back to bed. He does know he's coming around half an hour past bedtime & he may even be late.

Could he really not come earlier?

Does he have to stay atyour brother´s so long/late?

He means well, he just doesn't think .....

Can he leave it safe somewhere? Behind a bush/in a garage or porch, leave out a plastic tub for him to put it in??

I'd be effing livid to have someone assume they could come after my regular bedtime, family or no family.

And even if he does come you absolutely do not need to offer a drink. Appear at door in nightie and curlers and say "thanks dad" as you switch off the very last light and turn the key in the door....

I get pissed off if the PHONE rings after 8.30...

YANBU at all. It is very inconsiderate.

Can´t he bring it tomorrow evening?

YANBU. It is inconsiderate, family or not.

YANBU. I wouldn't want a visitor at that time of night, regardless of who it was.

I wouldn't wait up to answer the door either, don't care if it is only half an hour. What if he isn't actually on time?

Dressing gown, slippers, curlers and pale green face mask.

Can you leave the door on the latch, let him drop off, he can lock the door on the way out ?

Which course of action did you take Petal?

I think it's unreasonable to ask what time someone goes to bed and then suggest arriving 30min after that time. I'd tell him that 10.30 is the latest you'd want someone visiting and suggest picking it up another day, or him dropping it off a few days earlier.

I'd presumed it was next Tuesday as the post yesterday said "Tuesday" not "tomorrow".

YANBU - it's too late for most people. I wouldn't want visitors turning up that late in the evening, family or not, and I'm a real late bird!