to think that they can get what they are given and be bloody grateful

[bogie]

Christmas dinner... was planning, Soup to start then Turkey, roasties, parsnip and mustard mash, brussells, stuffing, pigs in blankets and carrot ribbons with honey and parsly then christmas pud or chocolate triffle (cheese board in the evening)..... I am cooking for 15!! with 3 under 5's wanting to open and play with all their presents.... and now SIL and her DP have decided that this is not good enough because sil's dp doesn't like parsnip or brussels so I will need to do mash potato and a tin of sweetcorn for him and her 2yo ds, now I only have a small oven and a small kitchen, I have planned it all and now I am getting pissed off, if they were going to a resturant they couldn't say oh and you will have to change your menu because my 26 year old boyfriend doesn't like it so cook sweetcorn and mash aswell.

Hi Bogie Just to let you know YANBU. The exceptions I make when I cook for family and friends are for allergies. Other than that, if someone didn't like what was being dished out then they could have extra helpings of other things they do like.

Sound like you're doing plenty of other food as well anyway. You've enough to do without pandering to whims. One mealtime of not getting exactly what they want on their plate isn't going to kill them. TBH, they should be grateful your going to the trouble to cook a decent meal for them.

I would always bring something for my two year old to eat regardless - wouldn't expect the hosts to cater for his fussiness. The adult demands are just ridiculous.

The whole point of Christmas lunch, surely, is that if anyone greedy is still feeling empty after the enormous meal, pudding, cheese, mince pies, whatever... there is a half hundredweight of Quality Street to get stuck into?

We are vegetarian and both were before we met. MIL would never cater for us as a couple or later as a family. We always had to take along our own.

Now they all come to us every year. I make what I want to make. They are welcome to bring their turkey breast and for SIL something gluten free (self diagnosed).

I could look into gluten free but no one ever made an effort for us so tough shit!

I would be more than happy to cater for veggies or allergies but not liking greens isn't a good enough reason imo

What an idiot. I would just carry on as you are planning. How rude to try and dictate the menu when they aren't even cooking!
Sounds like MIL doesn't help though - if she panders to it every time they go there.

"Christmas is love, Christmas is peace,
A time for hating and fighting to cease..."

but surly the only time for posh faff and not the same old is at christmas time

I think nannynobnobs' suggestion is best - and definitely worth repeating:

When they turn up and say "but where's the sweetcorn?" say "I thought you were JOKING, nobody could be that rude!"

OP - YANBU - but then he hasn't made this request has he? It's his MIL who's isisting as he won't like everything on offer, you have to make somethng else. He might be rather embarrassed to discover you're getting this hassle on his behalf when he's not actually said anything.

Why not act like you assume everyone is going be sensible and can you send your SIL a message along the lines of "your Mum is getting in a bit of a flap about your DP and christmas dinner as he doesn't like all the veggies I'm cooking - just to say, everything will be in serving bowls on the table, he can help himself to whatever he wants, leave what he doesn't and I promise I won't put sprouts on his plate and tell him he's not allowed any pudding until they're gone!!!!"

No its sil who has text me, mil not to bad but does think that I should make something for him.

oh, and actually, I'd watch the mustard in the parsnip mash, it could be rather over powering and I don't think mustard goes well with turkey, perhaps a plain parsnip mash would be better, down to your personal tastes... But a little bit of honey on carrots makes them yummy. (I'd just introduce them as carrots, don't say what you've done - let fussypants eat a few first.)

OK - just say back "There's lots of veggie options, don't worry, i'm not going to make anyone eat sprouts if they don't like them!" And I wouldn't make something else. Doesn't he eat carrots, odd, I don't know anyone who doesn't eat carrots...

(your SIL needs to watch out, people are rarely freakish in only one area of their life)

tried the mustard arsnip mash before can barley taste the mustard 1 teaspoon of dijon mustard in the whole thing

Well mostly YANBU - but parsnips are utterly vile and the work of the devil so having parsnip mash is just yuk.

however - if I went somewhere and they had parsnip mash, I just wouldn't eat it! I would have the roast potatoes and the veg I liked and ignore the rest.

Presumably you are not putting all the plates out with all the food on them, they can pick and choose what they want, so shouldn't be an issue.

People can be a bit weird!

I agree with skeletonflowers actually, thinking about this some more. You should be trying to accommodate your guests. OK don't do anything fancy (I still wouldn't bother with the mash) but it turns out you already knew his preferences and fussiness. This hasn't come as a surpise, and I personally would have been trying to accommodate it a bit especially as a tin of sweetcorn isn't hard and the children will like it too.

I still don't think YABU for feeling a bit peeved though, if it were presented as a demand rather than a request.

thumbwich you must be insane parsnips are clearly the most delicious veggies in the world EVER!!!! Roasted, mashed, mashed with carrots, pureed - yummy!!

Niecie - seriously would you ever ring up in advance, ask what is on the menu and then state what you will and won't eat & ask for alternatives?????? I've never heard of anything like it. Unless I was seriously allergic I'd never ring up & ask what was being served. By cooking the huge dinner she is (the roast bird etc is just one course too!!!) the OP has accommodated everyone - there is enough to leave one or 2 items off the plate and still have a huge delicious main meal.

oh & DP often says he doesn't like stuff & then he'll try them (as I've cooked it, or we have dinner at a friends etc) and he'll go OH THAT WAS YUMMY - I DO LIKE THEM!!! Bet this chap would be the same give half the chance.

Well if it's just a hint of mustard, don't mention the mustard! Just say it's parsnip mash, if asked, say it's got a bit of mustard in it. (Have cooked for a fussy DB who I just have learned not to tell him what's in food until he's nearly finished it and declared it yummy)

Don't make alternatives. Smile and say you won't be offended if he doesn't eat everything.

FMM - I could say the same to you!
Parsnips are utterly vile and vomit-making - I have never been able to eat them in any form and my mum was always trying to hide them in my food - I'd always find them and discard them! They taint everything if they're in a stew; and once she made gravy with juices that had had parsnips in - that was devastating as they tainted the gravy (and I lurve gravy).

Tell him he can have an extra roast potato if he doesn't like parsnip mash!

and as for sweetcorn - do a tin and say it's for the kids to take theirs from first as they like it.

Think they ABU to ask this for such a big dinner, but at least I guess sweetcorn is quite an easy and cheap thing to do (assuming you have a microwave), not like demanding steamed asparagus or something fiddly and timeconsuming!