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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that they can get what they are given and be bloody grateful

139 replies

bogie · 15/11/2010 10:27

Christmas dinner... was planning, Soup to start then Turkey, roasties, parsnip and mustard mash, brussells, stuffing, pigs in blankets and carrot ribbons with honey and parsly then christmas pud or chocolate triffle (cheese board in the evening)..... I am cooking for 15!! with 3 under 5's wanting to open and play with all their presents.... and now SIL and her DP have decided that this is not good enough because sil's dp doesn't like parsnip or brussels so I will need to do mash potato and a tin of sweetcorn for him and her 2yo ds, now I only have a small oven and a small kitchen, I have planned it all and now I am getting pissed off, if they were going to a resturant they couldn't say oh and you will have to change your menu because my 26 year old boyfriend doesn't like it so cook sweetcorn and mash aswell.

OP posts:

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/11/2010 10:42

If you got some microwave mash in, you could blast that and then the sweetcorn and put it on their plates. They would then look really stupid, imo.

It is what I would do [passive aggressive]

YunoYurbubson · 15/11/2010 10:43

Smile cheerfully and say "yes, of course they can have those things. You'll have to bring them hot and well wrapped in tinfoil to keep the heat in as I won't have any spare hob space or pans on the day!"

Job done.

diddl · 15/11/2010 10:43

Bloody hell, we´re only cooking for five this year, one of my own children isn´t keen on roast potatoes, but I don´t do mash for him.

No one is that keen on brussels except me, so I serve them!

There´s still going to be plenty for him to eat, isn´t there.

Sweetcorn for Christmas lunch-sounds wrong somehow

Original poster

bogie · 15/11/2010 10:43

The thing is even if they start bringing mash and sweetcorn when other people see it (my dc's) they will want it and will moan that they didn't get it so if I do somthing it will have to be enough for everybody

OP posts:

BuntyPenfold · 15/11/2010 10:43

TBH I wouldn't assume everyone likes mustard either!

I had a guest for Christmas dinner once who does not eat any vegetable except chips, doesn't eat meat or stuffing or nuts, doesn't eat fruit even in a trifle.

I didn't do chips.

He had toast and marmite. I didn't care though.

LoopyLoops · 15/11/2010 10:44

I don't think you are being unreasonable, and I do think they are being rude, but Christmas dinner is quite important for a lot of people, so I would go along with their requests.

I've had some really distressing Christmas dinners, like the one with no roast potatoes! That ruined my day, I've made dinner every year since.

PrettyCandles · 15/11/2010 10:45

Sounds a lovely menu, with lots of options. If a guest doesn't like or doesn't fancy something, they won't go hungry if they don't eat that thing.

If you can't give the "not decided yet, it's way too early" answer, then you'll have to say that it's too late to change the menu. Firm and polite.

And we'll be prepared for a"AIBU to expect guests not to bring their own mash and sweetcorn and expect me to heat it up?" thread after Xmas!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/11/2010 10:45

Or put them in their own Special Bowls (your dcs will have some of these they could lend, surely?). Then they'd look really daft

HappySlapper · 15/11/2010 10:46

Ha. Toast and marmite for Christmas dinner Love it.

catinthehat2 · 15/11/2010 10:48

Bogie.
I think you have to be brisk and business like.
You have made your decisions and now nothing else is relevant.
A If you are going to be sulking and cross about sweetcorn and all the other stuff they will come up with by 25 Dec, then make a diary note for 18 Dec to remind them to "bring their own mash and sweetcorn - and other stuff - . In a wide-necked thermos so you don't have them getting the way in the kitchen trying to heat it up"

B If you are not particularly bothered and can put up with it, then get the sweetcorn etc now and forget about it.

Personally I would go for A,my way or the highway.

ghoulishglendawhingesagain · 15/11/2010 10:48

YANBU. They can eat what they want and they can leave anything they don't like. They sound very rude.

FWIW I don't like sprouts, but I will be cooking them for DH anyway. And the children don't like roast potatoes. But they won't starve, they can eat the other stuff.

Surely they can just say no parsnips for me thanks, before you dish up? Like any other civilised person might do? Or just quietly leave them on the side of the plate and say Oh it was lovely but I am full up.

NestaFiesta · 15/11/2010 10:48

YANBU. Bloody nerve. If you were lucky enough to be invited to a partner's family Xmas dinner, would you send ahead a rider a la J-Lo? No! Its bloody rude. Tell her you're cooking for 15, happy to giver him a plate if he wants to bring his own food. And tell her not to marry him. He'd be a nightmare.

BuntyPenfold · 15/11/2010 10:49

His choice Happy, though he wanted white bread and I only had brown - thoughtless of me.
8 slices he had, my children were

FindingMyMojo · 15/11/2010 10:50

yum - I'll have tossers dinner please.

YANBU - & dinner sounds lovely. Seriously there is so much on offer anyone could leave out one or 2 items and wouldn't even notice. they are being VU to put these 'demands' on you. maybe they'll go elsewhere & eat sweetcorn? Demanding mash when there are roasties? If my DP was acting like this I'd be looking at him sideways and wondering how those other fish in the sea were doing???

Original poster

bogie · 15/11/2010 10:51

oh and for what its worth I don't like sprouts but its christmas and you have to have sprouts at christmas.

OP posts:

FrogmellaMoonbeam · 15/11/2010 10:51

YANBU. Your menu sounds delicious. Can I come to yours for christmas dinner please! I personally wouldnt eat everything on the menu so I wouldnt have Turkey, brussels or pigs in blankets but I would enjoy my parsnip and mustard mash and my stuffing and my carrot ribbons ohh and my roasties as well. You are cooking and taking the effort out of christmas dinner for them therefore they should be polite and accept what is cooked its not as if you arent cooking anything that he can eat.

Fifichef · 15/11/2010 10:51

Fantastic selection. I'm a trained chef and I won't be cooking so many different things on Chrismas Day. Is it the 'end of the world' if there are a couple of things they don't like? With such a wonderful choice there will be enough of what they like and I for one certainly can't see your ungrateful lot going hungry.
Can I bring my lot round to yours?

Original poster

bogie · 15/11/2010 10:52

bunty 8 slices of toast my god he must of been huge!

OP posts:

BuntyPenfold · 15/11/2010 10:55

Yup he is huge, but it is not my problem - not worth the argument imo :)

MorticiaAddams · 15/11/2010 10:58

I would do sweetcorn for everybody but certainly wouldn't do him mash.

He's old enough to understand that each family does things differently and if he doesn't like it then he doesn't have to come.

BuntyPenfold · 15/11/2010 11:00

bogie back to the plot - can you do a separate lot of parsnips without mustard for me please? Thanks, knew you would be reasonable about it :)
Also, I must choose my cracker, it has to be the heaviest one, don't put any old cracker at my place will you?

NestaFiesta · 15/11/2010 11:01

bogie- if he brings sweetcorn and mash and other people want them, make him share it. I've got no time for fussy eaters. My DH is quite fussy (Grr) but he wouldn't dream of making demands, he'd eat it, leave what he didn't like and say thank you it was lovely.

AbsofCroissant · 15/11/2010 11:01

YANBU, but you know it.

I kind of have this with a friend. Invited him around for dinner, decided what we were eating (as one does when one is cooking dinner) and I got "you have to make blah. I want you to call me when you're out shopping so I can tell you what else you need to get" and so on and so on. I didn't call him (as, I have a life and all) and he was whinging about it. I then made him bring his own special food if he wanted extra stuff so badly (which he did), but he still complained "if someone's hosting dinner - they should do everything".

I will wreak my revenge when it's his turn to have us around, mark my words. And you can do the same ...

nannynobnobs · 15/11/2010 11:02

When they turn up and say "but where's the sweetcorn?" say "I thought you were JOKING, nobody could be that rude!"

Original poster

bogie · 15/11/2010 11:02

Oh of course bunty Parsnips tossed in laxatives Roasted ok for you

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