To be despairing of teen girls particularly nowadays....

[Mowiol]

Don't get me wrong...... I think general standards have dropped across the board from the days when I was young so bear with me.... please!! After all, I'm quite old and a Grandma!!

I am a teacher and I am constantly non-plussed at the swearing/burping/farting/discussion of drinking habits/sex etc. amongst girls nowadays. Being discreet or remotely lady-like seems to be anathema nowadays.

I'm most definitely NOT saying that I accept any of that from boys, but it saddens me that girls in particular seem to have no decorum nowadays - for example they discuss periods etc. in front of boys, and I'm afraid I came from the generation where you would have died before mentioning that in front of a boy!!

And these are 13-14 year olds - I remember my Mum and Dad taking a very dim view of youngsters (of either sex) being out beyond 8-9pm on a school night or having "boyfriends and girlfriends" at that age. I was very conscious that they were highly disapproving of shenanigans at that age.

Am I a silly old-fashioned woman??

The only things I dislike about now is how promiscuous they can be. My ex H was standing in a queue at the GP and two girls behind him aged 14 were discussing who they'd had sex with lately (very loudly) and they'd come to have some tests done for STDs as they hadn't been using condoms etc and then when ex H turned round they tried to hit on him and ask him out for a drink. Yuck comes to mind.

Good that they came to have their tests done but I found their whole attitude to sex a bit So I'm old fashioned it seems as I think it should be reserved for someone you really care about and certainly not at age 14.

I think the common denominator for anyone, any age, any gender is that to command respect you need self-respect... My belief is that the higher your personal standards the better other people will treat you. Drop your standards of behaviour and don't complain if others treat you accordingly.

Chil1234 - I agree, with the proviso that standards are not universal absolutes. One person's very high standards are another person's very low standards!

I've heard girls 12-15 age practically tannoying intimate sexual encounters in the street and in the supermarket.

I assume this makes them look 'well up for it'

IMO they looked and sounded feral and scummy.

Girls communication via facebook is often an eyeopener.

I've heard girls 12-15 age practically tannoying intimate sexual encounters in the street and in the supermarket.

I assume this makes them look 'well up for it'

IMO they looked and sounded feral and scummy.

Girls communication via fb is often an eyeopener.

Saw two young girls yesterday about 13-14 screaming out at a boy of similar age
"Is that your dick sticking out of your trousers"?

Very very sad.

Why? Isn't it just what girls had to put up with from lads for years? At school in the 80s I had disgusting omments from lads at school all day every day....sorry but if the worm's turned then good.

I was a teenager in the 80s and I don't think we were that much different to the teens now. Yes they have new ways of communication - mobiles, PCs etc - but the ones I see on the bus say and act just like I did. Loud, raucous, energised and pushing at boundaries to find out what is ok but basically nice, kind individuals who just want to be accepted. I've never been a great one for "decorum" though as I always assumed it was just society trying to tell me what to do and not think for myself.

I don't think teenagers have changed much TBH, I was one in the 80s and the behaviour in the OP quite normal then TBH.

Whether that's good or bad - most older people think that certain teenage behaviours are beyond the pale - that's how it works I think, and how it always has worked.

I also don't understand why it's a bad thing for girls to mention/talk about periods in front of boys. Why shouldn't they understand about them? Better that both sexes are confident and open about their bodies and sexuality - the extreme of the type of attitude in the OP is women being declared "unclean" when they are menstruating and barred from participating in public life. It all stems from an idea that periods are dirty and that is not a healthy idea.

To be open about sex including periods can only be a good thing. The days when it was embarrassing to even acknowledge their existence are fortunately long gone. It is also a good thing to be able to talk frankly about sex. Knowledge is power, after all. However, just because you can talk openly about somenthing doesn't mean that you should do it all the time, no matter what the situation and in the coarsest possible language. I am a secondary school teacher and have always made it clear that they can ask me anything about this topic and will get a straight answer. This does not mean that I wish them to discuss it night and day, this means that I am in favour of openness and education.

Another thing that personally bugs me about some, by no means all of the girls I teach is the obsession with appearance. Our scholl recently won a grant to build an all weather pitch. We built it and it's fantastic. As part of the grant process, the Deputy Head had to get feedback from the kids about it. Two said that they didn't like it, it needed a roof as it made their hair go curly! And when did it become fashionable among a sector of girls to be thick? I have a number of girls who's answer to anything is a giggle and "But I'm no good at this." Makes me want to slap them!

doesn't sound great to me.

As a teacher OP, I suppose you have more contact to teenage girls than I have (dd has just turned 10), so I may nto get the full picture. Dd's hockey team is coached by 3 teenagers (2 girls, 1 boy) and an adult. The teenagers are so responsible and lovely. In dd's orchestra all the dc except her and one other are teenagers. They went on a trip together in September and AFAIK there is none of the sex talk, swearing, farting stuff going on. At least I did not observe it on their return or hear anything about it. Dd has a teenage girl who works with her in Russian 2 x week and she is very mature and very sweet.

Hard to know what to think really. Suppose I just know a few and not very representative. If they are really as crude as you depict them in the OP, it is a bit sad for them, doesn't sound to me as if the sex they are talking about they are really enjoying all that much tbh

Yes Dr Suess - I think it's the coarseness/crudeness aspect that saddens me a bit - boys or girls.

And I agree about letting youngsters know they can ask anything - I do answer all questions as openly as possible but once I've done that I want to get back to the business in hand - i.e. the lesson - and not let them steer me off at a tangent. Which they will, of course, try to do!

Also agree about the obsession with make-up (and sharing it amongst themselves!)

You have expressed it better than I did in my OP!!

mind you we are overseas so perhaps the youth culture is different here

I think every generation grows up and is at the next one! My mum was a teenager in the 60s and says her mum would frown upon thinks the "youth" got up to then (her mum being a pre-war child.)

Then my mum was at my generation and my generation is at the new generation and so it goes on...

Decorum is never a bad thing in men and women..

I personally don't find farting or burping with abandon very tasteful...

YAgenerallyBU for the reasons well-articulated above.

I'm surprised at Dr Suess being a teacher and being surprised that it's cool for teenagers to appear to be thick. This was very much the case when I was at secondary school in the 80s and bullied for, among other things, standing out by actually attempting to do any school work.

I know that doesn't make it right, but it isn't exactly breaking news that this happens in the teen years.

Hit post before adding that, I remember being told elaborate, detailed stories of sexual encounters by teenage female friends which I know for a fact were totally untrue.

So just because you're hearing them talking about sexual activity doesn't mean that they're actually doing it...

I don't find anything particularly new in your OP though. I was a teenager in the 80's and what you are describing I experienced.

Girls did talk openly about sex in front of boys in the crudest possible terms as boys did in front of girls.

Every generation thinks the behaviour of the next one is dreadful. It's just part of life I think.

Yabu. Yes, you are a silly old fashioned woman.

there are some wonderful young people around and about 0.9999 percent let them down.

We love to judge young people as a society. we don't give them a chance.

Where on earth do you teach, OP?

The 1950s?

"Saw two young girls yesterday about 13-14 screaming out at a boy of similar age
"Is that your dick sticking out of your trousers"?"

Was it?

OK - I did not mean to infer that all youngsters are swearing/drinking/being crude etc. - of course they're not. But I realise it sounded like I was suggesting that. I have a genuine liking for teens and really want them to do well at school.

And I am absolutely not sexist and favouring boys- but I do think a fair few girls are in danger of becoming too "laddish" nowadays.

I never convey these private musings in the classroom - private musings are what they are.

I want boys and girls to set high ambitions for themselves