Overly generous presents

[Liz23]

Am I being unresonable? I am just wondering if I have done the right thing...I have a close friend who buys my 5 month old son presents and also occasionally looks after him for the afternoon. We are very grateful to her as we have no family nearby to help with childcare. The other day she texted to say she had bought him a big Christmas present of a 4 in 1 trike thingy. We think it's too big and I have tried to tell her we appreciate her generosity but we can't accept it. He's far too little for it anyway and we live in a tiny flat, so have nowhere to store it at the moment. She has not replied to my texts and I thing she's offended...did we do the wrong thing or was it right to go with our gut feelings and graciously decline?

I can see your point of view and I agree that people can spend as much as they want on a present. However, people can also chose to decline presents. Our baby is far too wee know either way.

If you read the previous threads, you'll see that this is a dear friend who does a lot for us and our son. On top of everything she does, we don't want to take expensive presents from her. Plus we can't store it in this flat. That's the reasoning.

Phone her and meet for coffee and talk face to face.

Lost count how many threads on here I have read about misunderstood/misinterpreted texts/emails/facebook stuff.

This is an important relationship and you should do everything you can to protect it.

But did you tell her why you were declining it?

It sounds as if you just said no & are giving reasons here to try to justify it.

I take the point about texting, I think I probably should have done it face to face. But the reasons were well meant. This wasn't about being nasty. if you read the threads you'll see that.

And of course I don't expect people to run their gift ideas past me.

This was an unusual set of circumstances with a particular friend and a particular gift. That's all.

I think it is rude too turn any present down, especially from a friend who does a lot for you. You only thought about yourself, how you feel and the inconvenience and that is totally selfish!

Well, the giver only thought aboput herself, how generous it made her feel and the favct that she fancied buying it - THAT'S bloody selfish!

Who in their right mind gives a 4 in 1 trike to a 5 month old baby whose parents have nowhere to store it? How thoughtless!

I disagree that it's selfish but I'm not going to get into a debate about it, I'm afraid. Read the posts and you'll see it's not.

Indaba - thanks - best post so far

I think YABU. When someone has gone to the trouble of buying you something, even if you don't like it, the courteous thing to do is say "Thank you."
Your poor friend, I bet she was really excited about seeing your son on the trike when he was old enough for it.

How is it not selfish?

You´re not thinking of her at all imo, just you!

What does YABU mean?

And if you don't want to get into a debate about this, why on earth did you post in AIBU?

I'm just amazed at the inconsequential topics that are brought up. I mean, if the ins and outs of whether a trike should have been bought plays on your mind then you need a reality check as there are far more important things going on in the world!

You sent a text????

In that case you have been very unreasonable. You don't deal with a delicate matter with a valued friend by text. I would be deeply offended if I were her, by the coldness of a text. This needed a dialogue (and possibly coffee though preferably wine)

You Are Being Unreasonable

So why are you responding if it's so inconseqential? I'm not getting into a debate about whether it's selfish - it's a debate about the right thing to do in a difficult situation. An ethical debate is fine...

Oh thanks. I'm new to this, don't know all the lingo yet.

remmeber that it isn't just about how old he is now

when he is older he will LOVE a trike.... i am sure you will get loads of use out of it

You don't want a debate, you want everyone to tell you that you were right. Well, you weren't!

I'm happy being uncool, so that's ok. But yours was the best post in the last 5 minutes, DandyLioness