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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to clatter DD about the head?

35 replies

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 08:05

I've just gone to the kitchen to have a cig in the garden and noticed DD's lunch bag on the worktop.
she has been off school for four days with a virus and so has clearly got out of our routine for going to school.
I am so pissed off with her, I will now have to drive to her school, go to her classroom and give her the bag. silly mare. Should I make a big song and dance about it or just look very disappointed and hand it over whilst shaking my head, or go with my first instinct and clatter her around the head with it.
Opinions please, she is 9.6

OP posts:

pozzled · 12/11/2010 08:08

No big song and dance at school! She will be mortified if you say anything in front of her class. Simply hand over the bag.

And then -clatter- -her- -round- -the- -head- give her a stern talking to when she gets home.

whatdoiknowanyway · 12/11/2010 08:09

Just take it in, marked with her name, and leave it at the school office for her.
She's 9 years old, they make mistakes and you didn't remind her either.
Can't see why you would want to make such a big deal out of it.

TheLogLady · 12/11/2010 08:13

stern disappointment is called for. a deep sigh, a slow shake of the head and a few tutts should do it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/11/2010 08:14

she forgot her lunch bag after being off sick? Anyone of us could do that, I can't believe it's such a big deal. YABU.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 09:15

I'm back, I didn't clatter her (too many witnesses ). I did look disappointed and one of her friends called her a scatterbrain.
That does sum her up quite nicely.
I couldn't leave her lunch bag in the office, there isn't anyone at reception today. The secretary is off sick so the phone is being routed through to the nurses. I suppose I could have taken it there TBH.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 12/11/2010 09:19

Oh yuk!! Horrible thread title......she's 9 and has been ill.

Would it not be YOUR job to ensure your child had what she needs for the day?

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 09:29

It was a joke ILove. I wouldn't really clatter her around the head.
She is so innatentive and we have been really trying hard with her concentration. One of her jobs (in fact her only one) is to make sure everything she needs for school the following day is in her bag. That way she only has to pick up her lunch bag, that I have packed.
It seems we must try harder.

OP posts:

fel1x · 12/11/2010 09:30

poor kid, shes prob still not quite with it if she has been ill enough to need 4 days off

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 12/11/2010 10:10

She sounds like my boys - who we have always described as 'Organisationally Challenged' - so I can absolutely understand your frustration. I would love to be able to tell you that it gets better, but I would be fibbing and that's naughty. Sorry.

I would definitely be reading the Riot Act about this when she gets home - but bitter experience suggests that this will be cathartic for you, but may not be terribly effective in the longer term.

mumeeee · 12/11/2010 10:58

Sorry at 9 I would have still made sure she had taken her lunch bag.

thebrownstuff · 12/11/2010 11:02

yabu - cut her some slack, esp. having been out of routine. we all mmake mistakes.

colditz · 12/11/2010 11:04

As the mother of a nearly 8 year old who won't reliably put his pants on without being reminded several times, I think you should take it to the school and thank your lucky stars that your child normally does remember.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 11:35

But that's the point, she normally doesn't remember. It is up to me to sort everything in her life out. I wonder if it is because she is an only child and doesn't have to worry about anyone except herself. She can't even do that properly.
Starting from Monday I will give her a tick chart. Teeth, hair, clothes, school bag, lunch bag etc.

OP posts:

narkypuffin · 12/11/2010 11:39

She's nine. She's been off sick for several days. Give her a break.

narkypuffin · 12/11/2010 11:40

"It is up to me to sort everything in her life out. I wonder if it is because she is an only child"

No. It's because she's a child

ChippingIn · 12/11/2010 11:53

Kreecher - frankly, I am disgusted at your thread title. It is a total disgrace that you could suggest clattering her.

She is 9, you should make sure she has everything she needs for school, bath her, stay with her until she goes to sleep at night.

You should have happily taken her lunch to school for her without another thought.

I honestly don't know what you were thinking when you posted this.

ChippingIn · 12/11/2010 11:55

Was it by chance that you might get a bit of sympathy from others who are tired of having to think for their kids 24/7??

Clatter her about the head with a soggy banana skin when she gets home and tell her that if she forgets it again - you'll happily bring it to school for her - in your pyjamas!!

narkypuffin · 12/11/2010 12:00

Or work. Then you can't bring things in for her. Works for me.

Hullygully · 12/11/2010 12:02

You are an evil bitch mother from mother hell.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 12:03

narkypuffin. I would love to work, sadly there isn't much call for an aged nurse who doesn't speak dutch.
I think I may contact HQ and have this removed.

OP posts:

TheLogLady · 12/11/2010 12:04

having shared your frustration so many many times i strongly advise a bit of clattering. it won't make the blindest bit of difference but better than turning up in schiool in your pyjamas or worse - beating her with an ugly cudgel.

scaryteacher · 12/11/2010 12:05

Kreecher - it may well be the only child thing. I still get this with ds and he's 15.

'She is 9, you should make sure she has everything she needs for school, bath her, stay with her until she goes to sleep at night.' I had given up on staying with ds until he went to sleep by the time he was 4, and left him in the bath on his own from 7. That's a bit OTT.

I often feel like clipping ds around the ear when I get yet another call that he's forgotten something. You also forget Chipping, that Kreecher and I dice with death every time we venture on to Belgian roads as the drivers here are maniacs.

DamselInDisgrace · 12/11/2010 12:05

kreecher: you're right, you phrased this wrongly.

I really do not understand those who think it's the parents' job to ensure a Y5 has all their stuff for school. Once the teachers come home and get on MN, I'm sure they'll all make it clear that they want parents to encourage their kids to take responsibility for themselves and their things.

As to what you should do, it all depends on whether the school dish out loans to cover dinners in emergency. If they do, you can leave it and take it out of her pocket money. If the alternative is that she starves, you're going to have to take it into school and then give her the stern talking to when she gets home. You won't get anywhere near the classroom, you'll have to leave it with the receptionist.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/11/2010 12:09

Thanks scary, the road thing is true. Although this morning the roads where we are are eerily quiet. I assume that people have taken today off and had a four day holiday.

OP posts:

narkypuffin · 12/11/2010 12:09

Sorry for being stroppy. Bad day.

It's annoying but as a one off not so bad. If you're into the school twice a week YADNBU to clatter her about the head.

As for work, you could always learn Dutch, preferably between 9am and lunchtime. When they know you can't get stuff to them their memory improves fast.

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