Pamper party for 4 year olds

[EmmalinaC]

DD1 has been invited to a pamper party for the 5th birthday of one of her new schoolfriends. It's at a local hair salon. The invitation says they will get a hair-do, manicure and makeup or facepaint.

I have said she could go because I know she will enjoy it and all her new friends are going.

The idea of 4 year old with a face full of (professionally applied!) slap makes me cringe but I would happily let her have her face painted like a butterfly/Spiderman. Am I being a bit pfb? Is make-up so different or is a pamper party just a form of dressing up?

I was thinking of writing NO MAKE-UP on the RSVP/consent form. AIBU?

Oh dear.

even nail polish on this age makes my cringe a little (though both my 4 and 2 year old daughters have had).

Hopefully it'll all be butterfly face paints, but like you I don't like the idea.

(flip, what'll they do when they're 13?!!)

Oh god. PUKE.

facepaint = sweet and fun and appropriate

all other elements = ick and not so appropriate

My DD would LOVE that but I agree it is a bit cringey, I think it seems a bit young to do it in a salon. If it was at home and the childs mum was going to paint their nails etc that wouldnt be so ott. Sounds like they have money to burn as I cant imagine it is cheap.

I must admit this stuff appalls (eek! that spelling looks weird) me. It's not the same as "dress up" because it's very image focused and not about playing.

But I'm very old-fashioned about this - don't like seeing make-up (or muck as my dad alls it) on young girls.

I think at home it would have been better, low-key, childish. Ponytails, butterflies etc. Why do they need a salon for? I think 5 is a bit young too, some of the children invited will be younger than that. Also, if it's girls only, that's a bit early to start with this. Now it sounds so wrong on so many levels :) But it's over-analysing, I'm sure they'll enjoy it.

My dd had something similar for her 5th party (and has also been to a few at the same place).

I would hope it would be like our local place...its face paint not make up. The hair do is all about plaits, curls and general prettiness, and the manicure is a coat of sparkly nail polish!

How long is the party and do you know how many kids are going?

DD1 went to a similar party at the same age, but it was in the child's house. I had my doubts, but it was the first party she'd been invited to by a classmate and I didn't want her left out.

It was OK. They had made the parents' bedroom into a "pamper parlour" where a couple of mums made them all feel very special, with ultra-pale nail varnish and make up so minimal you couldn't even see it. They had a "facial" which consisted of a lovely mummy very carefully washing their faces with damp cotton wool - which they loved

Then they all reverted to being four years old, got face painted like butterflies and spent an hour bouncing around on the trampoline. They are, after all, only 4 and they will still behave like 4 year olds, whatever the planned programme is!

But if you really don't like the idea, say so and politely decline the invitation.

DD went to one such party at the same age. It was her cousin's birthday so we couldn't refuse but I was a bit unsure about it. Actually it was fine. They did her hair in ringlets which she loved. Then the 'make-up' consisted of coloured glitter and the nails were muted colours.

I still wouldn't organise one myself but DD really loved it and she didn't end up looking like a hooker .

Sorry but IMHO pamper parties at this age are inappropriate. My daughter is 11 and I would not encourage this. She's sporty and still loves rollerblading and swimming parties best. Nothing wrong with make-up and experimenting with hairstyles etc but it shouldn't be the focus of the party.

I would have a quiet, discreet chat with the Mum concerned and explain your concerns. If she's half reasonable she will accommodate your feelings, after all, your child is her guest.

No! How horrid. They are little girls. Bleurgh.

Christ on a bike. If they're in the salon aged four, no wonder so mahy young women grow up thinking WAG is a career choice.

how sad

Mine is getting a birthday tea and a few rounds of pass -the-parcel.

Damn. I was really really hoping someone would tell me I was being pfb! She's going to go and now I feel even worse about it!

poorbuthappy just read your post. It's 2 hours and 10 little girls, all from school. The thing is, I know that DD will love it. And part of me feels like a rotten sport for spoiling her fun by laying down rules...

There's a shop near my mums called "My Pretty Princess" which arranges and holds pamper parties for girls aged 3 and up. I feel like bricking the windows every time I go past.

My DD is 8 months old but I'm fairly certain I want her to be climbing trees until she's 21.

I'd rather see a group of 4 and 5 year olds haring round the local soft play or having some sort of age-appropriate play.

I would most certainly be writing 'no make up' on the reply though, no doubt about that! I wouldn't allow my 4 year old to wear make up at all.

Just seems a shame to miss out on more age appropriate stuff and leave this sort of thing for much later when they are pre teen or teenage. What are they going to look forward to - what will they be doing for parties at 11 and 12? I can't imagine!

Don't feel bad OP it probably sounds a lot more than what it actually will be. I did a similar idea for my DD age 5 but at home. I put some white eye shadow on eyelids and put some glitter on (it sticks better with E/S) and painted their nails a light pink with a tiny gem stuck on each thumb and they LOVED it. It was low key and not making it any more than it was - a girly fun birthday. It was enjoyed so much I did it again this year by request for her 6th. The mum probably couldn't face doing it herself or isn't that way inclined so preferred a salon to do it.

Let your little girl enjoy being with her friends and being part of a girl group - you can wet wipe her when she gets home if it's too much but i'm pretty sure it won't be.

Please let us know how it went!

Don't feel bad, she'll be widening her life experiences.

Send your DD in a dress with smocking and a bow on the back,startrite shoes and they probably won't wax her legs.

Oh yuk!
Completely lacks imagination.

It does sound awful but if you are letting her go then I think you should let her participate in all of it.

God I think that's awful.

Agree with paisleyleaf, depressingly unimaginiative.

I know that I am probably in the minority, but these things don't bother me. I have a DD exactly this age, and I wonder sometimes if I should be objecting but I find it hard to rationalise what my objections would be.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that it is fine to send your four year old girl out in a padded bra and black patent knee highs, but playing with hair and being sprinkled with some glitter just isn't something I can feel militant about. I know my DD loves going to the hairdressers and having her hair cut and she adores playing with make up, but I can assure you she is far from a wannabe WAG, she just likes pretending to be like mummy, which is totally age appropriate IMHO and I have no more interest in stopping her doing this than I do when she is making giant mud pies and flinging herself around the garden.