to leave DS overnight when I'm still bf'ing and he refuses to take a bottle

[Millie1206]

Plan to leave my 10 month old next month with Grandma and Grandad overnight for the first time. It's a night out me and DH have been looking forward to for ages and a pre-Xmas treat for us. My problem is despite my best efforts he has refused a bottle since I started him on solids at 5 months. I have more types of bottles than a high street chemist and have tried everything, expressed milk, warm, cold, someone else giving it him and nothing until this week a revelation with a new NUK bottle (brown latex teat) when Grandma managed to get him to take 1 oz from it while I went shopping. I'm still feeding him at bedtime, early morning and mid afternoon, but he will miss his bedtime BF and his early morning one if we go through with our night away. He has had the odd sip from a doidy cup too on occasion (drinks his water from this).

Grandma is more than happy to take on the challenge and assures me he will be fine (although I know he will scream the house down). He is a good eater generally and has formula in porridge, baby rice etc. plus lots of milk, cheese etc. in the meals I cook him so I'm kind of tempted to leave them to it and treat it as a make or break! She said he will go to bed eventually and if she has to get up with him at 430 and give him porridge then she is happy to do that.... so AIBU to go?

i wouldn't do it myself

I wouldn't either. It has to be your decision though as he is your child. You will get some saying he will be fine but no one knows. You need a plan for what your MIL will do if he really does scream and won't be settled.

If Grandma's up for it, where's the problem? At 10 months, it's not as if he is going to starve without milk, if he really won't take a bottle or cup (though I bet he does if no alternative).

Suggest you buy Grandma a large bottle of booze to aid her recovery the next day!

YANBU - sounds like you have a very sensible M/MIL so you should seize this chance and go and enjoy yourself. You don't know for certain he will scream, and even if he does, you won't be there to hear it. He'll be fine.

I would go (I think) but not enjoy it for worrying/guilt tripping myself.

Sorry. Not helpful.

i'd go. granny rocks.

nor me, sorry

YANBU

I think that the major issue is you keep trying him on the bottle and from a simplistic point of view his preferred source is also present (BF).

If your mum is happy to take on the challenge and sleepless night at 10mths old one night is not going to cause major weight loss or dehydration.

If you've got a few weeks to go still would your DH/ mum others be up for you not being around at milk times and persisting with the bottle?

YANBU. At 10 months he is getting most of his sustanance from solids anyway especially if he is eating as well as you say so hes not going to starve. Grandma is right he will go to bed eventually and you may be surprised to hear a lot easier thatn you were expecting.
Neither of mine took a bottle ever and I breastfed until they were a year. On one occasion each I left them overnight at about the 10 month mark. They both slept fine (maybe went to bed a bit later). Think DH gave them a yogurt/ jar dessert or milk in a sippy cup instead.
Grandma is expecting the worst and is up for it so go and enjoy yourself

I would. He's 10 months old and if he really wants it he'll take it. He'll be fine.

My DS never took a bottle either, but would take in one of those Tommee Tippee sippy cup after about 8 months. Guess you've probably tried that though.

Go and enjoy yourself. Grandma will phone if she needs you!

Enjoy your evening. He will be fine. GP's might be knackered though. It might even be the window to get him off the boob. Feeding DS was a complete failure and the determination gene held out for DD even though it wasn't easy. I persevered and eventually - like your DS, she wouldn't take a bottle and I tried and tried and tried. Eventually she did, aged 2!. She then would drink from nothing else until she was five and a half . Caused no long term harm, but if I were you with hindsight I might just focus on the cups not the bottles.

ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY feel zero guilt and have the most wonderful time. DS won't remember it and the GP's are saintly. DS might even mreach a marvellous milestone. Let us know hhow it goes.

baby will be fine but that's really not fair on grandparents

why don't you just night wean him? as in stop giving him food overnight

If he is thirsty, he will drink it.
What would happen if you were ill?
I think Grandma sounds very sensible. You are entitled to a life.

Agree you'll probably worry too much to truly enjoy the evening at first but hopefully when you ring Grandma, she'll tell you he's settled and you can relax.

It'll go one of two ways, won't it? Either he'll drink the milk like an angel, settle and be fine - in which case you'll know you can go out with no problem in the future. Or it'll be a nightmare in which case you can presumably go home if you really need to. I think you do need a plan to get back to save Grandma if things go really tits up - you don't want her being put off babysitting for life .

I would. Granny will be fine, he'll be fine.

He's 10 mo, not a newborn.

yanbu.

I'd go, and I wouldn't feel a bit guilty. If we were talking a 6 week old, I'd say yabu; at 10 months he'll be grand.

Definitely go! 10 months, the worst that will happen is that Grandma will be exhausted the next day. Have a lovely time.

And my DS slept through for the first time when left with my mum at 1. He only met her a week before . Was bf as well.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy my night out knowing my DS was doubtless screaming his little lungs out because I wasn't there to feed him. My DS is 5 months old and has refused to take a bottle from day 1. I've been told by several people that if I effectively 'starved him into it' by refusing to give him the boob one feed he would eventually cave in after missing one feed and take the bottle. I haven't managed to summon the courage to try it yet, but if I were you I would bite the bullet and do it myself in the next month before your night out - seems a bit unfair to ask grandma to do it for you...

It's not unfair on Grandma, Grandma has offered and has assured the OP that she'll be fine, which suggests to me that the OP has shared her concerns with Grandma.

Go, enjoy your night.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. He's ten months old, grandma is up for it, and you have a right to a life. He might scream, but he will survive.

Having said that, I wouldn't have done it myself. I'd have been worried all evening and wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. I'd probably have been consumed by guilt, too. Only you know whether this is likely to happen to you, but if you're that way inclined, then you need to factor it into your decision.

If he doesn't like bottles, would he take milk from a cup?

He's 10 months old, and as long as he's eating well, doesn't really need a night feed. Go, and enjoy yourself!

Go for it! He'll be fine!

I'd be far more concerned about Grandma's eardrums than the 10 month old tbh!

YANBU - go for it. If you are able to enjoy it and not let the guilt (which you will undoubtedly feel a bit) ruin your night then just do it, he will be fine. Grandma sounds amazing.

Disclaimer: I wouldn't have been able to do it but I wish I was brave enough.

DS wouldn't take a bottle either, but once he was on solids (which I often mixed with ebm - ebm in fruit or veg puree etc) the bf was largely to do with habit, comfort and me. By 10m / 11m I was feeding him roughly on the pattern you feed your DS - but if I wasn't actually present he didn't fret for it. I have a job that kept me out at his bedtime a few times, and it was FINE.

Fingers crossed that your DS, and his gp will also be fine.

You could practice by letting your DH either put him to bed or get him up in the morning without you being present.

Good luck,and enjoy your night out.