to leave DS overnight when I'm still bf'ing and he refuses to take a bottle

[Millie1206]

Plan to leave my 10 month old next month with Grandma and Grandad overnight for the first time. It's a night out me and DH have been looking forward to for ages and a pre-Xmas treat for us. My problem is despite my best efforts he has refused a bottle since I started him on solids at 5 months. I have more types of bottles than a high street chemist and have tried everything, expressed milk, warm, cold, someone else giving it him and nothing until this week a revelation with a new NUK bottle (brown latex teat) when Grandma managed to get him to take 1 oz from it while I went shopping. I'm still feeding him at bedtime, early morning and mid afternoon, but he will miss his bedtime BF and his early morning one if we go through with our night away. He has had the odd sip from a doidy cup too on occasion (drinks his water from this).

Grandma is more than happy to take on the challenge and assures me he will be fine (although I know he will scream the house down). He is a good eater generally and has formula in porridge, baby rice etc. plus lots of milk, cheese etc. in the meals I cook him so I'm kind of tempted to leave them to it and treat it as a make or break! She said he will go to bed eventually and if she has to get up with him at 430 and give him porridge then she is happy to do that.... so AIBU to go?

Have a lovely night out.
at 10 months he can do without, it is amazing how they manage when the 24/7 milk buffet is closed!

mind you I was distraught the first time I left DC1 overnight (he was 14 months old)

hope you are not as much of a wuss as me!

these days I would be over the moon to have someone offer to have a 10 month old baby overnight for me....

Well I wouldn't because I know I'd spend the whole evening worrying and have to ring. If you can go and enjoy yourself then go. He will be fine.

Yanbu for you .....but I couldn't do it!

I was feeling the same way about leaving my 8mo DS for the first time, when he'd never got on with a bottle but was drinking water from a cup. I figured he'd get plenty of milk from grub and DH could fill him up with a nice big tea before bed, and he could try milk from a cup and see how he got on with that.

But then I discovered the First Years Breastflow bottle, and OMG it is amazing. It has a clever double teat system which mimics the way the breast works, and my DS took to it without batting an eyelid. Since then, I have been doing combined feeding with bottle and breast, and he's never had a problem going from one to the other.

I have since tried to give him a Tommee Tippee bottle, thinking that he would be happy to have any bottle now, but no, it's still just the First Years bottle he wants. I am intending to move the milk feeds to a beaker soon but this has given me the freedom I crave and peace of mind that he's getting the right amount of milk. I have also recommended it to some friends who were having the same problem, and their babes are also happily going from bottle to breast and back again.

Whatever you decide to do with the feeding, don't fret about him, it's only one night and it will do you the world of good to let your hair down.

Go for it

have a great night!

My second child self weaned before 10 months from the breast and never given formula and he was not starving ever he just ate alot of solids.

I couldnt' have left my first child (she was a boob addict and wouldn't eat solids) but by the second I would have been fine given the opportunity. You are lucky to have such a granny. Go out and forget about it because you can't do anything about it.

Aw thanks everyone, I'm very lucky with my mum and dad (and my in-laws too to be fair). I think we will go but I will get DH to try the bottle again next week (am taking DS away for a few days this weekend). Mum would be devastated if I cancelled night out as she is so looking forward to having him for his first sleepover!

YANBU. If you want to carry on with BF you could still be doing a bedtime feed at 2 years, will you not leave your child til then? What if you still BF at 3? Your DS is able to go without milk for this time and although he will miss the comfort and routine, it may be enough of a treat to be spoiled rotton by grandma

Have fun!

YANBU. this was pretty much the situation when i went back to work. my Mum got DD to drink from the sippy cup - much much easier without any other option present!

i did have one night away from DS - he too was reluctant to take the cup, but with no other option...

Itwas then i found i'd been feeding from one boob only for ages..as one was huge by morning, and not the other.

I wouldn't, but DD is only 3 months so who knows how I will feel when she is 10 months! If he needs a night feed though how will that be managed?

My DD is 10 months and she also won't have a bottle. She's not keen on cups either. I'd love a night out but I just can't leave her as she won't drink from anything else!!

Your Mum sounds wonderful. I'd probably try a few day feeds in the run up where I left baby with her and nipped off to do some shopping-- and see how the bottle went before committing. It'll be easier to do int he day when neither of them are so tired and you might find by the time the night out comes round, he's totally happy taking a cup of milk from Grandma and you don't have to worry.

I'm very I'm going to have to wean DD myself soon.

YANBU. If Grandma is happy to take on the challenge,just go and enjoy yourself.

My DCs refused to take a bottle from me - why would they when they could actually smell my breastmilk?

From the age of 5/6 mths they would grudgingly accept 1oz or so of ebm in a bottle from DH - provided that I wasn't in the house and they could not see, hear or smell me. This enabled me to make a quick trip to the shops or the hairdresser, but never a night out.

I went back to work for 2 days per week when DD3 was 11 mths. I worried that she'd starve to death at nursery. In fact, she just did without a bf in the day. I wasn't around and so she didn't ask for it. I didn't want her drinking bottles of formula, and so she drank milk or water from a cup.

She continued to bf at bedtime until she was 18 mths, but it never got in the way of a night out - DH or the babysitter just put her to bed with no bf.

Have a night out. Your DS will be fine, and will probably scream far less than you imagine. He won't be expecting a bf from granny (this is not 'Little Britain'!)and will probably just settle.

Enjoy yourself. You've earned it.

YANBU - like others have said at 10mths he will be ok. I know its not he same but my DS was refusing milk full stop at that age and despite my concerns and worries he is a strappy and very cheeky 2 1/2 year old. So milk is not really the issue in my opinion but whether he can be comforted without feeding at all. If you think he will then go and enjoy yourself.

Granny sounds like a star!

I would go as long as your M/MIL doesn't mind being woken up in the night. And I wouldn't feel guilty or feel any need to call either...

Of course go!
Your Mum sounds fab and your DDS will be in great hands.

YANBU. I wouldn't do it, but then nor would my mum, and I wish I could - feel that I'm a martyr sometimes. My dh put ds2 to bed for the first time last night at 16 months and that's only cos I had parents' evening. I was convinced he's still be awake when I got home at 9, because he's never been to sleep without a bfeed first.

Guess what...he was fine. Fast asleep.