To take this up with the school

[LelloLorry]

DD is 17, and today (at 2pm, actually) was told that she has ADHD.
She was in a private school for all of her high school years, and the last 2 of her primary years.
I really want to know why nobody has ever brought this up before, since DD2 is still at the same school I'm thinking of bringing it up at the next meeting.

Tbh, I have no fucking idea where to go from here and know I'm angry at someone - would mentioning this to the school even be appropriate? DD says since she left last year she isn't their concern anymore.
Well, she isn't, but I want answers from someone.

Give us more info. How did you come to have her assessed and find out if not from feedback from school?

Did her ADHD cause her difficulties at school?

I thought ADHD was a medical diagnosis? Surely the school can't come up with this on their own? that sort of diagnosis would have surely required the involvement of various different professionals?
Why would they say this to her if she has already left?
Sounds incredibly bizarre to me, we need more info but definitely does not sound like normal procedure.

She's in CBT from social anxiety, which started out as depression before then being re-assessed and being told no, actually, it's agoraphobia, before settling on social anxiety.
They've been doing some more back-digging as to where her social anxiety began, where they're now assessing her primary school life.

We originally got reffered to CAHMS for anxiety in her GCSE years, after I took her to the doctor since every morning she cried that she felt like she was dying.
I actually thought she was bullshitting.

No difficulties in the early year that were significant enough to warrant more than a mention at parents evening, which were ususally for daydreaming/not listening to her teachers.
They were never big mentions even then, just that they had to catch her attention a few times.

Daydreaming or not listening was never mentioned after Y7, neither her form tutor or teachers had anything to say.

Are you suggesting it's someone's fault?? Doesn't sound as if anything about her behaviour particularly stood out at school - If it had surely you would have noticed yourself and done something about it before now? Why does it have anything to do with the school?

I agree with iamamug.

I would take it up with the doctor if I were you. The most school would have done is refer her to an Ed Psych but only if her behaviour was causing her problems at school.

When you were told about her daydreaming/not listening what did you do? Did you ask them how they were dealing with it? Did you see similar behaviour at home? I can't see what school would do about it now she has left.

Am surprised. But in the OP, you say she was told, do you mean diagnosed ? By a clinical pyschologist for e.g. ?

It's a medical diagnosis. It would have to come about through a referral to your GP, and would involve multi professional input.

How can she have been diagnosed without you knowing?!

Her therapist, who is a psychologist, yes. :)

But they can't make the diagnosis unilaterally!

Part of the condition is that it's something which is exhibited in a range of different settings, including home and school. Eg, someone who can focus for long periods of time in one setting (eg home, psychiatrist's clinic) but can't focus in another (eg school, college) would not be exhibiting ADHD. They might be finding it difficult to regulate themself in different environments. ADHD is out of the person's control. I don't understand how you can not have been involved with this process

are you sure its not asd?

I did think that ADHD had to be present in all situations.
I am intrigued as to those saying that a pychologist doesn't diagnose. Because when we went to top Paed, privately, he sent us to his top pychologist for a " a diagnosis", of possible Aspergers.
WE have a NHS CAHMS Tier 3 appointment in Jan, but I assumed that this too would consist of a team, including a pyschologist, who would diagnose.

Is there a difference in how ADHD and Aspergers is daignosed, i.e. who you need to do it, in order to get a diagnosis ?

aspergers is different to adhd aspergers can be diagnosed by psychologist.

oh. o.k. right. sorry about that. now i know.
why do you need medical training, i.e. to be a dr, for adhd then ?

I dont know the answer to that oblimov, sorry.

YABU to take this up with the school. I understand that this is a difficult time and the diagnosis will mean that you and your daughter have a lot of thinking to do, but this is in now way the fault of the school. I am very surprised at a diagnosis of ADHD at 17 which had never had any impact on home life.

She's in CBT from social anxiety, which started out as depression before then being re-assessed and being told no, actually, it's agoraphobia, before settling on social anxiety.

Sounds from the above statement that professionals have had a hard time diagnosing her and so this diagnosis may yet change. However with a child with other issues, it would have been hard for teachers who are not medical professionals who see her for an hour at a time a few times a week (as am assuming that there are specialist subject teachers) to see that there were other things wrong. This has nothing to do with the fact that it is a private school either.

I hope you can get some advice on where to go from here.

I don't see why it's the schools fault tbh, they're not medical professionals.

I don't see why it being a private school have anything to do with it either, it's a medical condition for a doctor to diagnose, not a teacher.

Is ADHD not caused by an imbalance in certain chemicals in the brain? Are there various tests (including bloods) which need to be done in order to diagnose the problem? Just want to understand about this so I can be supportive.

surely she woud've spent more time at home and with you than at school?

oblomov - 'cos a lot of ADHD is due to differences in brain chemicals (the jury is still out afaik about social causes), and the most common drugs used are speed - but they slow down an adhd brain (whereas, obviously, they speed up other people's), so a doctor does need the training in the drugs, side effects etc.

a lot of undiagnosed adhd people suffer from depression as well, as they struggle to cope with everyday life.

however, upsetting though it is, you can't blame the school for not noticing this - loads of kids exhibit problems that adhd kids have, so the school would have no idea if a child was adhd or not. i'm assuming that to have got the dx, then you have been doing the connors test or others like it?

for us, we started thinking dd was a bit 'different' from the age of 3, (nearly 4) so did her key worker at nursery, so did her first class teacher at school, and her second, and her third. so, by the time we got to referrals, we were pretty certain. if you only had a few comments when she was younger, and nothing since, then i would assume that she has fairly mild symptoms, and has probably learnt to 'fit in' with school expectations more as she gets older?

as serendipity said, it may well be that this dx is part of an ongoing situation. i hope that your dd finds the help that she needs.