to be a bit cross at this letter?

[ZombiePlan]

Have just received a thank you card from a wedding in august that DH attended. I was invited but couldn't attend because it was strictly no children and 3mth old DS (exclusively on breastmilk) was not invited. Anyway, the letter thanks us for the gift and says that the B&G are "sorry" that I was unable to attend. AIBU to think that it's a bit rich to express sorrow that I wasn't able to attend an event that they made it impossible for me to go to? FWIW I'm not anti-childfree weddings,but if that's what you want then go for it - just don't pretend otherwise afterwards and act like I've 'disappointed' them in some way.

Yes - beggars became buggers around here a long time ago - I forget it's not yet universal!!

TBH I would write a nice chatty letter to them, asking how married life is etc. At some point I would add that far from being too busy to attend you were disappointed at not going, but that you entirely understand that they wanted child-free ("bf babies can be such a trial at weddings"), that you are really looking forward to seeing them and are glad everything went so well; "dh made it sound so beautiful/fun/whatever wondrous accolade you can think of". Thus ensuring in a nice chatty friendly way that they are under no misapprehension about your non-attendance.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Let it go!!

It really isn't worth getting uptight about.

upahill - surely this sort of thing is exactly what AIBU is for - the little niggles that don't really matter but have pissed you off just a tad...

Yeah but you have gone and on about it and we have a right to reply. Ok so you're niggled but in the scheme of things it isn't a big deal.

YANBU

They should have been honest and added

"... but we didn't want your dc there because we hate children."

at least then you could have respected their honesty.

Last time DP and I were invited to a "childless" wedding neither of us bothered going.

Talking(non)sense...That is just mad. The card was probably the usual 'thank you' for wedding gift and showing appreciation for it.

From what I'm reading ZombiePlan is taking this way too deep.

Just wait till they have thier own baby and a child free wedding invite!

I fully respect that people are allowed to have child free weddings BUT I do believe that breast fed babies should be made the exception.

YABU about the sorry you weren't there but I'd be very cross it took four months for them to find the good manners to write a thank you letter.

YABU

Don't you think that once you have a child the way you think changes. I bet it hasn't even crossed their minds. It will cross their minds when wife has a 3 month old clamped to her nipple for most of the day!

I think 'we're sorry you were unable to come' would have been just as pithy but less like they think you CHOSE not to come, which is what 'too busy' sounds like. And therefore would have been a nicer thing to write.

(and I mean 'chose' in the sense that it could have gone either way. You obviously chose to stay with your baby but short of starving him, could not have chosen differently. if that makes sense)

I wish I had invited newborn puppies to our wedding.