My Birthday - is DP being a twat?

[JodiesMummy]

OK so its my birthday in a couple of weeks. Uusally because its so close to Christmas shopping time I dont get a lot of presents. No problem, I am a Mum and like to get Christmas all wrapped up instead so its not a last minute rush.

This year I have been very organised and Christmas shopping is all done [grins]

I have also recently had a payrise (couple of hundred quid extra per month not huge but makes things more comfortable). Since I have had this payrise, DP has began treating himself on a regular basis. Fancy haircuts, £100 quid jackets, new aftershave. No, he hasnt got a new woman he is just a poncy twat.
Not getting overly bothered by his extravagance, but he has not made efforts at work to progress and has not had a payrise for 4 years! Would be nice if he treated ME for a change.
Anyway, I have continued in my normal way, shopping at Primark or charity shops for bargains not out of necessity, but because I cannot justify the expense on stuff for myself at this time of year.

HOWEVER - this birthday I know we have the cash for a treat or two for me, and to be fair, DP has been making reference to some parcels delivered to his work (for my birthday). i am not getting overly excited because he is a notoriously crap present buyer. But I spotted a dress in a vintage shop yesterday which is only £20! I texted him about it and he said "you have had paint for your birthday" - as I am going to decorate our hall this weekend in time for Christmas. I am fuming to put it mildly. AIBU?

There's nothing wrong with him not being particularly ambitious, or being happy in his "crap" job rather than looking for a better paid one, assuming that as a family you can manage financially.
HOWEVER there is something deeply wrong with him living off your earnings by spending on new clothes/haircuts/etc whilst you shop at charity shops becuse you genuinely feel you "can't justify" spending YOUR OWN money on YOURSELF...even though your family is already well-provded for.
IMO, as you're both working, a joint account for joint expenditures, and a separate account each for personal luxuries like clothes/fags/make-up/whatever.

I think he must be pulling your leg surely. And just buy yourself the dress - you don't need permission & it's £20!!!

YANBU and I seriously hope he is joking!!

I really do hope he is joking. No way would I tell him that a new exhaust for the car or something was his birthday present! I thought he would appreciate a bit of a push in the right direction - he hates shopping its another inconvenience to him. In fact, just about everything is an inconvenience to him :)