to wonder why she's messing us about

[picklebutty]

We have our house on the market and we've had word that one of the other mums at school is also selling up. There's not much for sale in our area and nothing we want to buy on the market at the moment.

We quite like the look of her house but we have no idea of the floorplan except to say it's got four bedrooms. We'd like a study and playroom downstairs and though we're not averse to building these, there has to be some potential for this and until we view this house, we don't know if it has that potential (or whether it has them already).

I heard she was selling up back in June and approached her about the possibilty of a private sale. She hadn't thought of that as a possibility but told me she was going on the market in September and she'd let me view before she did - our mutual friend gave me her mobile number at that point.

September came and she wasn't replying to my text message (sent one). I eventually asked our mutual friend what was going on (was she still planning to sell?) and was told she'd got rid of her mobile phone some four or five months previously (therefore before I'd been given the number). There was then a delay of about four weeks before this "new" mobile number was forwarded on to me, at which point I texted her to ascertain her position.

She replied 3 days later saying she was now going on the market in November.

In the interim, we recieved an offer on our house during October. It was a low-ish offer and we didn't know whether to accept because we weren't sure about this potential purchase - so I sent her a text with the details and asking her if she was still going on the market on Nov 1st.

She replied 2 days later saying she had found a house to buy as a private sale (stressing she wasn't in a chain) but she wasn't going on the market until December 1st. She also told me she now has two other couples interested in a private sale (one in rented accommodation) and that she isn't letting any of us see the house until December 1st. She had already made this clear to the other interested parties - which made it clear she'd been communicating with them and not me.

We have decided not to accept the low offer on our house as there's such uncertainty about where we're moving to. If it were a higher offer, we'd go into rented. Turns out the buyers were a bit nutty anyway and transpires they're messing the EA about so think we had a lucky escape.

I feel so messed about by the lady who says she's selling her house. What's your analysis?

I think you're slightly highly strung - desperate to buy a house that you haven't even seen inside!!!!

It sounds like you're pressurising the poor woman to sell up!!

Oh! I'm highly strung! Lol, never heard that one before!

I'm actually well known for being chilled (though not with my kids, who drive me slightly mental!)

TBH, I think she wants you to back off but is too polite to say so and is trying to keep you at arm's length.

my analysis is that you have pushed and pushed and pushed her and behaved really inappropriately

you cannot pin your hopes on a house you've note see .

I am not surprised she was not communicating with you, you sound far too full on and pushy

if her house is so desirable, and if she has 3 couples interested in a private sale, she has the upper hand

you have no right to feel messed about, you owe her nothing

you had not viewed the house, you're not even sure if it is just what you're looking for , you've not sold yours..

you sound scary, to be frank

i would also have been avoiding you

When and if she's ready to sell, she will no doubt appoint an estate agent and you will be able to view the house through them in the usual way. IMO it doesn't sound as though her house is actually for sale yet. Sell yours, move into rented and get into prime position as cash buyers in a buyer's market.

Gosh, um I don't think she's messing you about, it's none of your business what she does. She may have all kinds of reasons for not putting her house on the market at a particular time, - and she should be able to do so without you ringing her up all the time and questioning her. You haven't even seen her house.

The funny thing is, she blows hot and cold.

When she didn't go on the market in September, I found out she had a new phone number and thought perhaps she was giving me a message she'd decided not to sell so I just left it.

At the end of September, her mutual friend came to see me and said that "Susie keeps asking me if I've given pickle her new phone number so you can discuss the private sale".

My husband thinks it's highly odd and thinks she's either been drumming up interest to drive the price of her house up, or else she's invented the other buyers. I guess I'm less cynical!

FGS let her put it on the market first, maybe she doesn't want to sell it privately

I can't see that this is going anywhere. Are you looking at other properties in the meantime? She's been stalling and dithering for whatever reasons for some time now - there's no reason to think she's going to stop stalling and dithering any time soon. And if she's found a house to buy, why is she not going on the market? It makes no sense. Whatever's going on with her, I can't imagine you have the time or inclination to deal with it.

I really think you need to kiss this one goodbye and keep looking elsewhere. I think you're wasting your time.

just leave it ! she obviously does not want to sell to you privately

if it goes on the market, go for it, but don't expect special favours

Ringing her up all the time?

I've texted her twice in the last five months!

OK, your second posting makes it more understandable that you are annoyed.

Don't think there is much you can do though.

Is she messing you about really? If she keeps changing her timing this is probably down to family circumstances and not anything to do with you.

At the end of the day it's a business transaction, I'm sure she will just want to get the best price for her house with the right timing for her family, not yours.

If it comes together for you that's a bonus, but if I was in your position I would be viewing other properties. You may not even like it when you get inside!

I would assume that her house isn't an option and carry on looking elsewhere. Don't contact her again if she's interested (whichh I don't think she is) she'll be in touch

Right - I didn't realise she'd been asking for your number, so apologies. But I agree with others write her off, and make your plans elsewhere, if there are problems with even deciding whether she's selling, then there are likely to be more probs. if you actually get involved in buying from her.

Yes, we've seen ohter properties. There's one we might buy but it needs loads of work. Eventually it would be a great house but with two little kids, it's hard to have the heart to do all the work it requires.

Our mutual friend saw me at playgroup this morning and said "Susie told me to tell you she's just finished having the roof cleaned and the house is nearly ready to sell". My first thought was "flaming hell - having the roof cleaned to sell is pretty unusual" and secondly "funny - she doesn't seem like she actually wants to sell!"

did your friend have her permission to give out her number?

if she is on the maket for viewing on 1st dec then 1st dec it is then, unless you continure to harass the poor family any further.

sometimes the best laid plans go astray. selling your home takes some consideration and the fact she has taken a few extra months is her buisness.

YABVU

sorry look elsewhere, personally I wouldnt put MY house on the market until I was ready, not because some woman at the school wants me too. You have no idea whats going on in her life.
so yes YADBU

(she's moving way out of area so removing her child from the school - no issues about seeing me at the school gate - though not sure why that would be a problem as I was going to offer the asking price)

Do you know what the asking price is?

Take the most reasonable offer you've got and secure some buyers. Then go viewing loads of potentials to buy so that this lady's house doesn't matter so much to you.

Your mutual friend and this lady may be feeling quite pressurised by now. Good relations are paramount if you're looking for a private purchase. You've made your interest clear, now maybe back off? With buyers you are in a much more powerful position. You could do some kind of leaflet drop around the areas you're really interested in as a general thing if there genuinely isn't much coming up that you're wanting to view. As a seller, I wouldn't accept viewings unless they are proceedable (ie they've got buyers already). There will always be more than one yummy property out there!!

I love this thread! I'm highly strung, very unreasonable and even harrassing this lady because I've texted her twice in five months!

I didn't know she was selling her house - her friend told me. I aksed her about it as school drop off and she was dead keen on a private sale. Yes, her friend had permission to give out her number. This lady then checked I had received her number.

If she wants to sell via an agent, I'm happy to offer asking price through them and she can pay them 8k in fees. Seems a shame to be lining their pockets, that's all.

(and to make it clear, I have backed off. I sent her two texts in five months - I see her every morning, we say hello, I don't mention the house! I just find it all a bit.....odd)

picklebutty, - I think there was a bit of confusion over your OP and what had actually happened, apologies if I sounded rude, I didn't quite understand what exactly had happened. Good luck with your house hunting