to wonder why she's messing us about

[picklebutty]

We have our house on the market and we've had word that one of the other mums at school is also selling up. There's not much for sale in our area and nothing we want to buy on the market at the moment.

We quite like the look of her house but we have no idea of the floorplan except to say it's got four bedrooms. We'd like a study and playroom downstairs and though we're not averse to building these, there has to be some potential for this and until we view this house, we don't know if it has that potential (or whether it has them already).

I heard she was selling up back in June and approached her about the possibilty of a private sale. She hadn't thought of that as a possibility but told me she was going on the market in September and she'd let me view before she did - our mutual friend gave me her mobile number at that point.

September came and she wasn't replying to my text message (sent one). I eventually asked our mutual friend what was going on (was she still planning to sell?) and was told she'd got rid of her mobile phone some four or five months previously (therefore before I'd been given the number). There was then a delay of about four weeks before this "new" mobile number was forwarded on to me, at which point I texted her to ascertain her position.

She replied 3 days later saying she was now going on the market in November.

In the interim, we recieved an offer on our house during October. It was a low-ish offer and we didn't know whether to accept because we weren't sure about this potential purchase - so I sent her a text with the details and asking her if she was still going on the market on Nov 1st.

She replied 2 days later saying she had found a house to buy as a private sale (stressing she wasn't in a chain) but she wasn't going on the market until December 1st. She also told me she now has two other couples interested in a private sale (one in rented accommodation) and that she isn't letting any of us see the house until December 1st. She had already made this clear to the other interested parties - which made it clear she'd been communicating with them and not me.

We have decided not to accept the low offer on our house as there's such uncertainty about where we're moving to. If it were a higher offer, we'd go into rented. Turns out the buyers were a bit nutty anyway and transpires they're messing the EA about so think we had a lucky escape.

I feel so messed about by the lady who says she's selling her house. What's your analysis?

I don't actually think that YABU- she is being inconsistent, which is annoying, but that itself would give me grave doubts about entering into a sale contract with her.

She might change her mind at the last minute, and decide she is staying put- once you have sold up and been ready to move.

She might be equally evasive re signing missives and terms of sale.

Tbh, buying and selling houses is so stressful at the best of times, it's always better, IMHO, to deal with straightforward open people, who are direct and on the same page as you. No harm to her, I'm not saying she is dishonest, but your dealings with her so far have already frustrated you. Better to leave it and move on.

I think the OP is getting a bit of a rough ride here, perhaps she worded it a bit wrong.

She is hardly "harrassing" the family FFS.

She sent 2 texts, the second being a follow up due to uncertainty due to change of numbers!

Sounds like she's faffing around a bit trying to get the house "ready" to sell, and is possibly overthinking this aspect a bit if she's getting the roof cleaned. If she's getting the roof cleaned, she's probably having kittens over the inside of the kitchen cupboards, hence the delay! Some people are like this.

I'd move on and see if she comes good, she may do if she hears you are looking elsewhere. She may well be false sense of security if she's got you and others interested. If you all go quiet, she might perk up a bit.

I have to drive past her house to get to work. It's quite a lovely house from the outside but I've trained myself not to look at it!

After we first spoke abo ut the sale in July, friends in RL kept urging me to text her to check where she was up to with going on the market. TBH, I felt THAT would be harrassment! I did leave it two months after we first spoke and my text read somehting along the lines "Mary gave me your number - apologies if you've decided not to sell your house, but just making sure you have my phone number if/when you decide to sell - I'd still be interested in a viewing".

Other than that, it's been "hello!" at the school gate.

You're right - imagine if she started dithering when I'd got as far as packing all my posh glasses!

(roof is especially sparkly!)

Maybe she doesn't think you are keen enough?