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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that I can't do a child's party for under £450?

85 replies

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 14:07

I know I am

Come and give me some ideas on how to cut costs!

Plan is to do a leaving party for my 2 DCS (3 and 6) as we are moving house and leaving the area. Will be 50 children (2 classes) plus any siblings.

Costs -
£150 entertainer (as I'll be on my own, DH will have gone on ahead to new house)
Hall - £60 (also essential as packing/no DH etc)
Food - £100 (£2 per head? bearing in mind siblings and tea/coffee/biscuits for parents)
Party bag/sweets - £3 a head so £150

How can I reduce the cost? With 50 children even the party bags/sweets etc add up.

OP posts:

junkcollector · 06/11/2010 15:18

I haven't got any helpful suggestions but wanted to say, ignore anyone who blithely suggests that Pass the Effing Parcel is an easy/fun game to play with 3 and 6 year olds!!!!

Pannacotta · 06/11/2010 15:19

It IS mad, am sure your DCs dont expect it and its the last thing you need when you have all the other stresses of moving house with small children in tow.

Original poster

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 15:21

Junkcollector, never mind the game itself, the thought of wrapping up a pressie with 50-plus layers makes me feel quite ill. Esp after lovingly wrapping all my dinner plates , glasses etc for the move.

And can you imagine how huge the parcel would be??

OP posts:

NestaFiesta · 06/11/2010 15:22

For DS1's birthday, I hired a rugby club, added a bouncy castle, made cakes sandwiches and crisps and provided goody bags for about £120 total (25 kids)

Goody bags-balloon, bag of iced gems (they don't melt), toy from Asda (12 for £5 or some such) and a lolly.

You sound nice but is this wise- I mean 50 goodbyes in one days would surely upset a child? Maybe keep it to just their closest friends that they will keep in touch with anyway?

Plus with 100 parents, and 50 kids plus sibs- you will have about 170 to cater for- this may be biting off more than you can chew! I would probably just hand out new address cards and a bag of sweets or a cake at school and leave it there. Maybe take their closest best buddies out for pizza.

isn't moving stressful enough?

Original poster

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 15:27

Maybe Nesta....

Really just trying to think it all through.

Perhaps sweets etc on their last day at school would be better - low key, more matter of fact about the move.

Not sure. Maybe I need a thread on how best to prepare your DCs for moving house and area!

OP posts:

SE13Mummy · 06/11/2010 15:27

I think I'd opt for a series of 'goodbye teas' whereby both children make a list of 10 children they'd like to say a proper goodbye to and you make an effort to have them to tea.

Any siblings that are mentioned could be invited on the same day and, if there are parents you are close to they could be invited with their children on a separate occasion.

This way round it would be far less overwhelming for your children but would still give them an opportunity to mark the event. If you wanted to make it more party-like they could be given fairy cakes/gingerbread to decorate and have those for pudding.

A bag of chocolate buttons (with a sticky label containing your new address) per child in the class could be given out on their last day at school.

cyb · 06/11/2010 15:27

A family left our school they asked if their entertainer could perform at school rathr than hire a venue. Went down a storm

Original poster

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 15:28

SE13, that is very good idea. Esp as their friends do fall in to little groups - school/nursery friends, NCT-group friends, friends from gym class etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 15:28

Cyb, another idea to think about, thanks.

OP posts:

SE13Mummy · 06/11/2010 15:35

I've just re-read my post and realise it sounds as though I was suggesting you have 10+ children round for tea - I wasn't!

My thinking was that each child choose their 5/10 closest friends and each of those come (one or two at a time) for tea.

I moved house when I was 11 and my brothers were 9 and 6. As far as I remember we simply said 'goodbye' and I gave my best friend a small teddy. Twenty-something years later and I'm still in touch with a few of my friends from those days because, in part, my parents encouraged it and set a good example by maintaining contact with their friends from that era.

MrsSnaplegs · 06/11/2010 15:41

We have just moved and DD gave each class/ social friend a small chocolate bar and a note with her new email address on it - we set it up especially for this purpose. She is 5. No leaving party as it makes too much fuss and makes the move more difficult! As it is she has settled in well to new school with no worries on her behalf that this is anything but normal.

ohforfoxsake · 06/11/2010 15:42

We did this in May. Having done most of the packing we had a houseparty, asked everyone to bring a dish, it was very personal. My children range from 8 to 3 and it is hard for them. School were great a did a really good 'proper' goodbye, so maybe speak to their teachers.
They won't go unaffected, and you'll have to deal with that ( we had a LOT of tears) and DH won't be there for support, so do remember to think about yourself in all this.

Original poster

alfabetty · 06/11/2010 15:51

Mrssnaplegs, have the children used the email address to keep in touch? I had thought they were too young, but perhaps my 6 yr old would be OK.

OP posts:

MrsSnaplegs · 06/11/2010 16:01

Yes some of her friends have - didn't expect all of them to but thought it a good way to practise literacy and computer skills

mangoandlime · 06/11/2010 16:03

Well, good luck to you. I think you are crazy for having a leaving party but hey ho!

Something on a smaller scale would be better, perhaps. Even if you have an entertainer it's still loads of work for you at a time when things are already going to be v busy.

I don't think most of the children will know, or, to be blunt, care, why they're at a leaving party. Close friends perhaps will but otherwise not.

Asteria · 06/11/2010 16:09

if you really want to do party bags turn them onto an activity in themselves. For the last 4 parties my DS has had i have handed out the bags with pennies in - then appointed a couple of parents to run shops so the children can buy whatever they want. You can get huge bags of Haribo type sweets and sell them for 1p each then some pound shop type things for 3-5p each. It takes them AGES to go round all the shops and get stuff - plus you don't need to worry about having so much stuff as they will buy what they want (which is usually tonnes of sweets and a pencil!).

Clary has a good point though - organising games for that many children is insanity - they can smell fear and will eat you alive...

SixtyFootDoll · 06/11/2010 16:13

Why have a party for people you will prob never see again?

I would save the money and spend it on something else.

collision · 06/11/2010 16:13

Madness!!

Take in some nice biscuits for the children and a box for the staff room.

2 friends each and go to pizza hut for tea after school.

SAVE YOUR MONEY!

oldinboden · 06/11/2010 16:58

it's far too many people..It will be chaotic and upsetting for many young children.Very much doubt your own DC will enjoy itJust let them invite 10 closest friends each.

oldinboden · 06/11/2010 17:02

Or Collision (whose user name ironically enough describes what will be happening at the party) idea even better

collision · 06/11/2010 19:53

LOL at Boden!

50 kids in one place! Eeeeeek! An almighty collision!!!!

IzzyWizzyletsgetsomesparklers · 06/11/2010 20:00

I really think you're over-complicating things and run the risk of it being just too overwhelming for you and your DCs.

My DS (then 6) had to change schools in March this year at pretty short notice. The mums of the other children in his class organised a leaving party for his last day, I think basically everyone from the class chipped in £2 or £3 and they hired the soft play at the local leisure centre for an hour after school, (and gave him a lovely leaving present). I know it's not everyone's favourite thing but pretty much all the class and siblings went and they all had a great time. He just had a fabulous last day and the only one who cried was me

I know I was lucky in that the other mums did all the organising and paid for it, which was incredibly generous, but really if you keep it simple like that it doesn't have to cost a fortune. We didn't do food although I did take some carton drinks and a couple of huge bags of treat size sweets and chocolates so they could all grab one or two as they left. Everyone was happy.

I do understand that you maybe would like a big party, but I do think it's unnecessary and you may be underestimating how emotional you might find it, especially if - like me - you're leaving lots of good friends behind.

Mumcentreplus · 06/11/2010 20:05

Agree with the lucky dip idea..

Really don't need an entertainer either...loads of party games/music and before you know it the party will be over..

Cant recommend the Pound Shop more for snacks,prizes,cups,plates etc

piscesmoon · 06/11/2010 20:06

I agree-madness-collision has the perfect answer.

WriterofDreams · 06/11/2010 20:11

Firstly, I'm quitting my job as a teacher and becoming a children's entertainer. £75 an hour!!!!

Secondly, 50 kids under the age of 7 in a hall sounds like hell. Utter hell. Do your DCs really have that many friends??

If you are having a party why not have a smaller one and make it a sort of pot luck so the parents bring a little something to eat along with them? No need to buy food and it might encourage parents to stay! (Otherwise how are you going to manage that many kids?)

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