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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what driving a 4x4 has to do with it?

117 replies

MasonPearson · 05/11/2010 16:41

I was doing a couple of errands earlier, one of them was to pick something up from the chemist. They have closed the little car park outside it so I parked legally on the road.

Its cold, dark and rainy and its school run traffic. I need to do a 3 point turn so that I am facing the correct way to go back home. At this point there is no traffic coming, though there is a t intersection a few metres up the road.

As I am making my manoeuvre a car turns left out of this t intersection, and comes up so close to me that I can't complete my manoeuvre due to parked cars on the other side of the road.

She then winds her window down and comes out with a tirade of abuse about drivers of 4 wheel drives and got a bit personal, which made her sound very chip-on-shoulder bearing in mind she had caused the situation.

I retorted with a simple, "how classy are you! and politely asked her if she could reverse back. She wouldn't so I graciously did so myself by going on the pavement and waved her by - its not worth getting into scraps or mexican standoffs, I just want to get from a to b quickly and safely.

But it made me think - why do people have such ishoooos with 4x4's? My one is not all that big as they go, is not bad for the environment as far as cars go, it has new technology that I wont bore you with that means a very good miles to the gallon rate...but to be honest I'm not going to go on, there's no real need to justify my choice of car. I'd rather hear some 4x4 haters justify why its apparently acceptable to verbally abuse someone because of their choice of car...or isn't it?

AIBU, or was this a random mardy trout with a chip on her shoulder?

OP posts:
cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:19

If few=20, then yes otherwise no.

AprilMeadow · 05/11/2010 19:22

Mason, if had been you i would have stayed where i was and waited for her to move. You had made sure that no one was coming before you started your 3pt turn, its not like you waited for her to get close to you before doing so.

I dont live in the country.
I dont do off roading.
I do have 3 almost 4 children.
AND I do drive a beautiful BMW X5.

I understand that some drivers of 4x4's are complete knobs and drive around sitting a few cm's from the back of the car in front, drive it like they are on a race track, park like complete idiots that have forgotten everything they learnt is their driving lessons etc etc BUT I do get annoyed when we all get lumped under the same banner.

I have a 4x4 because: a) I like it b) i can afford it c) i have the 7 seat option so we will all fit once the new dc comes along & d) it goes like shit off a shovel (on the motorway!) I dont drive along as if i am trying to climb into someones boot or push them off the road, I dont drive like a speed demon, only sometimes on the motorway :)

There are other drivers who drive smaller not so luxurious cars who quite frankly drive a hell of a lot worse, yet they dont get the same level of abuse thrown at them.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:22

I assume the Other Driver was approaching the T junction and thus her view of the OP (and vice versa) would be obscured by houses, parked cars, something else along the side of the road.

The Other Driver should not have turned out of her road into the path of the OP as her way was not clear to proceed.

The Other Driver should not have driven right up to the OP and refused to budge, nor should she have hurled a tirade of personal abuse out of her window.

What cars they were in is irrelevant and to make a judgement based on what cars they were in is pathetic.

wubblybubbly · 05/11/2010 19:22

It doesn't sound like the best place to attempt such a manoeuvre, if there are cars parked on both sides of the road, regardless of what you're driving.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:23

Ahhh SoupDragon I see Wink

Another way of putting it: ?

Why should it? That is would be unfounded prejudice and really rather pathetic.

WinkyWinkola · 05/11/2010 19:25

MasonPearson, I think the lady who abused you was probably just in a bad mood and latched onto anything she could use to insult you, including the car you drive.

I think for many the jealousy argument is cobblers. There are loads of affordable 4x4s.

I love the look of some 4x4s. The Porsche or the Volvo one. But the Range Rover is just plain ugly and boxy, like a big tank.

In the country, they're necessary in some parts. But in cities with traditionally smaller roads, the bigger ones are just not necessary and do cause problems because of their size.

Also, they are more dangerous to pedestrians. If you are hit by a 4x4, you are twice as likely to be killed. Also, 4x4s don't tend to 'notice' smaller cars putting the drivers of those smaller cars in more danger.

Another interesting site on the issue.

nancydrewrocked · 05/11/2010 19:25

I have no idea whether it is jealousy or not - I drove a 4x4 for years and loved them although currently drive a mini - but it does rather smack of jealousy when people start talking about the "blond" driving or taking the piss out of what the 4x4 is used for/what the driver is wearing which is the way these threads always go.

AprilMeadow · 05/11/2010 19:26

Also, I do use my indicators. They actually come as standard and not as an option as many drivers would think Wink

I love my car because it is big and i feel safe in it...

I dont love: The road tax or fuel costs but then i did choose to own a bmw :o

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:27

Soupdragon
You seem to keep envisaging that OP is well into her 3pt. I read it she is not.

Also she should just advance to said junction and turn there.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:34

nowhere in the op is it clear how far through the manouever she is.
However, no matter how far through it she is, the other car was wrong for driving right up to her. The OP was obstructing the road that the other driver should not have left her junction given that the way was not clear.

HumphreyCobbler · 05/11/2010 19:35

those who say that you can live in the country without a 4x4 - well that depends on WHERE you live in the country.

I have lived in places where I didn't need one, I couldn't get out of the drive here without one when it last snowed.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:36

"The OP was obstructing the road therefore the other driver should not have left her junction given that the way was not clear."

iPad keeps making random word corrections,

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:41

no matter how far through it she is, the other car was wrong for driving right up to her

no

If OP initiated her manouvre as other was at junction, other has priority.

If there was plenty of room for 3pt, OP could just do reverse part easilt letting other through.

Because of geometry of this bit, it is impossible to be too close, as you are reversing away.

simonedeboudoir · 05/11/2010 19:41

HumphreyCobbler you can't get out of many drives when it snows heavily, whether in town or country.

Janos · 05/11/2010 19:46

Was this thread started so OP could tell everyone she has a 4 by 4?

I don't care what people drive, as long as they drive whatever it is considerately.

waterlooroadisadocumentary · 05/11/2010 20:07

I do live in the middle of nowhere at the end of a long bumpy dirttrack. We often drive off road. We do not have a 4X4 and we cope. We struggle when we get snowed in but how often is that? There are times when a 4X4 would be nice but it is not a necessity and they cause harm that cannot be justified from the odd day when we "need" one.

I am sure they are a certainty for some people, not many though

redrobin · 05/11/2010 20:11

some posters on this thread are merely confirming my opinion that most 4x4 owners are bloobs - 'i like it, i can afford it, and i dont give a feck about anyone else'. hah! am so glad i can now hide this thread

redrobin · 05/11/2010 20:12

oh, and msot importantly 'i NEED it'. i live in deepest darkest scotland and unless you are actually driving over fields to your animals, you just dont.

LookToWindward · 05/11/2010 20:13

Larger 4x4s of the SUV variety (X5, Landrover, etc) are a sc

  1. You don't need one. Sorry - you just don't. My FIL lives in the Lakes and he can survive with his Suburu Legacy - especially hammering it up and down Hardknott pass in rain, ice and snow. If you think you "need" one then you can't drive. I say this as a member of the police force with an advanced driver qualification. The only people who "need" them are farmers with six dogs and a bale of hay in the back - and they'll be running on red diesel anyway.
  1. Utility. With the exception of some LandRovers, most modern 4x4s are shite and barely better than a standard saloon in the rough stuff. A BMW X5 for example is actually worse on a skidpan than a Vauxhall Vectra. And the trend to stick low profile tyres on them only makes them worse.
  1. They're no safer than most other recent saloons - in fact in many ways they're worse. You're more likely to be in accident in one and its more likely to be serious. Look at the recent Euro NCAP ratings if you don't believe me.
  1. Space. Buy an estate if you're incapable of leaving the hose with out enough supplies to last a month.
  1. Impact - not only does the larger weight mean more damage to the urban road infrastructure, they're more dangerous to pedestrians. They're also terrible for the environment. Some of the more recent cars have improved granted but they'r still crap compared to the same sized engine in a family saloon. They're also difficult to park and manoeuvre as the OP has found out.
  1. Subjective this one but I find that they tend to be bought by people who don't have the confidence to drive properly and try to make up for it with these. Some of the worst driving I've ever seen has been (and I hate to admit this) young women in these cars that they're incapable of handling.

SUV style 4x4s are entirely a vanity purchase. Let's not pretend otherwise.

redrobin · 05/11/2010 20:16

Looktowindward....i think i love you.

nameymcnamechange · 05/11/2010 20:17

I live in London - a hilly part - and I couldn't drive for about two weeks in the snow this year.

Bunbaker · 05/11/2010 20:25

I live in the Pennines, not too far from one of the passes that gets closed at the first flake of snow. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I have really felt the need to own a 4x4.

I agree with all the points that Looktowindward made, especially about low profile tyres. The best car I have ever driven in snow was a VW golf with standard tyres on it. It was a bottom end of the range car, but the grip was brilliant.

HumphreyCobbler · 05/11/2010 20:26

but in a town you can walk. And people clear roads. Or you can take a shovel out. It would take me years to clear a path for my car. I have also lived in the country without one, the roads were much easier in my last house, also in the middle of nowhere.

As for costing lots of money, ours cost about £900.

nancydrewrocked · 05/11/2010 20:28

Re point 3 - I don't understand the reference to the "rough stuff" then talk of the skidpan. Two entirely differenet scenarios.

Interestingly I have just put those two cars that you mentioned into the NCAP ratings and the Vectra scores worse for both passenger and driver safety than the BMW.

HumphreyCobbler · 05/11/2010 20:29

my neighbours don't have one - so of course you can survive without it

we brought them milk, bread and coal in the last freeze

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