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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder what driving a 4x4 has to do with it?

117 replies

MasonPearson · 05/11/2010 16:41

I was doing a couple of errands earlier, one of them was to pick something up from the chemist. They have closed the little car park outside it so I parked legally on the road.

Its cold, dark and rainy and its school run traffic. I need to do a 3 point turn so that I am facing the correct way to go back home. At this point there is no traffic coming, though there is a t intersection a few metres up the road.

As I am making my manoeuvre a car turns left out of this t intersection, and comes up so close to me that I can't complete my manoeuvre due to parked cars on the other side of the road.

She then winds her window down and comes out with a tirade of abuse about drivers of 4 wheel drives and got a bit personal, which made her sound very chip-on-shoulder bearing in mind she had caused the situation.

I retorted with a simple, "how classy are you! and politely asked her if she could reverse back. She wouldn't so I graciously did so myself by going on the pavement and waved her by - its not worth getting into scraps or mexican standoffs, I just want to get from a to b quickly and safely.

But it made me think - why do people have such ishoooos with 4x4's? My one is not all that big as they go, is not bad for the environment as far as cars go, it has new technology that I wont bore you with that means a very good miles to the gallon rate...but to be honest I'm not going to go on, there's no real need to justify my choice of car. I'd rather hear some 4x4 haters justify why its apparently acceptable to verbally abuse someone because of their choice of car...or isn't it?

AIBU, or was this a random mardy trout with a chip on her shoulder?

OP posts:
silverfrog · 05/11/2010 18:33

oh, i just get so fed up with all the judging, tbh.

and I stand by what I said - you have no idea where he is going when he turns out of his road in Clapham Junction (I assume, unless you follow him around all day Grin)

We used to live jsut around the corner form Clapham Junction, and while I didn't need a 4x4 to get dd1 to school then, I did need it at weekends, and wasn't going to entertain having 2 cars just to drive a smaller one in the week (and have you seen the scrum that is parking round there? - where would I have parked my second car anyway?!

I honestly do not get why so many people judge because of 4x4 cars. the most agressive driver I have encountered (and sadly I encounter her a lot) drives an A2, but I do not think all A2 drivers are wankers

Bonsoir · 05/11/2010 18:36

I loathe and abhor incompetent, mostly female, drivers of 4x4 who clog up the roads and take ages to do basic manoevres that would be far quicker done in a smaller car.

Which is why I do not drive my DP's very nice and comfortable (and economical) 4x4 but leave him to do so as he is far more skilled a driver than I will ever be!

coatgate · 05/11/2010 18:39

I agree re 4x4s driving around London, when I lived there I had a very lovely banana yellow Datsun Cherry 100A. Those were the days.

But surely in the end doesn't it come down to personal choice? And bad driving is bad driving, whichever vehicle you are in.

Re dog snobbery, I have a Springer Spaniel, is that good or bad?

PanicMode · 05/11/2010 18:39

(I agree with Rocketbird that most 4x4s are unnecessary at best in an urban setting, particularly in London and dangerous at their worst - I've seen a child knocked down outside a school by someone who couldn't see them behind their Volvo XC90).

I think that the problem with them is that many 4x4 owners seem to think that driving them gives them some sort of licence to drive without any consideration for other road users. Of course, there are good drivers and bad drivers, and I'm sure that they are evenly distributed between 4x4 owners and 2WD owners - but around us (urban SE) there seem to be hundreds of tiny blonde women driving enormous 4x4s that they can barely park and look half terrified driving.

And no, it's not jealousy on my part - I have a small bus myself (Grande Espace) because I have four children, and we could drive a large tank if we wanted to, but until we move into a rural environment and I finally get to keep horses/buy a yacht, there is absolutely no reason to have one!

OP - without seeing where you chose to turn around, I think perhaps you caught the brunt of someone's Friday frustration; equally perhaps you chose to turn an enormous car around too close to a junction!

gateacre1 · 05/11/2010 18:39

havent read all the replies but wanted to add that a few years ago we had a big landrover 4 x 4 ( for OH job which requires this type of car) and at a petrol station a women slammed her car door in the car while I was sitting in it, I wound the window down and asked her why she had done it ??? ( I had a 4 week old baby in the car and wasnt thinking staight clearly~
she proceeded to verbally abuse me then spat at the car multiple times shouting about why was I bothered about the precious car bla bla bla ( it was the principle not the car that bothered me)

Lesson I learnt keep windows closed and dont buy petrol in station in Peckham south east london!

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 18:43

Are 4x4s bigger than, say, a Ford Galaxy?

cumfy · 05/11/2010 18:48

YABU I think.

I am trying to envision what you described and it occurs to me:

  1. Should you be attempting a 3 point on a main road ?
  1. Should you be attempting a 3 point on a main road with cars on the other side in a large vehicle ?
  1. Don't understand, how she can be "blocking" your manouvre, if you have initiated it more than a couple of seconds prior to her exiting her junction.
In which case YOU are the one blocking HER

Isn't the correct manouvre, continue up the road and turn around at the junction her car was coming out of.

Perhaps she was angry because she knew you'd seen her, but nonetheless blocked her progress by initiating your apparently selfish, half-arsed, manouevre.

Without a diagram it's difficult to be sure, of course(Blush?)

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 18:49

The most twattish drivers I come across are in ordinary cars.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 18:52

"3. Don't understand, how she can be "blocking" your manouvre"

Quite simply, I would imagine. you complete the first 2 parts. Of your 3 point turn and then some fuckwit in an ordinary car drives right up to you rather than hanging back, allowing you to complete the manoeuvre like any normal driver would do.

The other driver was a twat and look! They weren't in a 4x4!

TattyDevine · 05/11/2010 18:55

Whether the OP was in the wrong or not in terms of judgement, to yell abuse at someone out of a car window is something to be ashamed of. A little tutt or shake of the head is one thing, but verbal abuse just instantly give the OP the moral high ground, in my opinion.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 18:57

SoupDragon

You seem to be assuming that the other driver is behind.

In this case they are in front and that part of the maouvre comes right at the very start. Diagram needed!

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 18:57

i find it hilarious that, if the other driver had been in a 4x4 and the OP in an ordinary car, everyone would have said she was in the right and the other driver was a selfish old bat who kills children and poisons the environment.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 18:58

Actually Cumfy, no I'm not. I pictured them in front.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:01

I do think it clouds the issue what cars the 2 were driving.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:02

Then I don't understand your original point at all and it seems clear also from OP that the other car appeared right at the beginning of the 3-pointer not the end.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:03

Why should it? That is unfounded prejudice and really rather pathetic.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:07

Sorry ?
Why should it cloud the issue ?

TattyDevine · 05/11/2010 19:10

Its pretty clear from the OP that the car wasn't there when she started, but was there as she was trying to complete, being only a few meters up the road but out of sight when she started.

It sounds to me if the car had just hung back for a sec, the OP would have had room to complete her turn and drive out of the way, but that she drove up so close to her she had no choice but to abort the turn, reverse back, let her go, then start again.

That's how I read it anyway.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:11

Yes, why should it cloud the issue? The fact is that, regardless of the cars, the other driver was a fuck wit for driving right up to a car in the middle of a manoeuvre and refusing to budge.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:12

a few meters up the road but out of sight

Physical impossibility. And thats the point

oldinboden · 05/11/2010 19:14

Just to play devils advocate -you were halfway through a 3 point turn in the dark.I don't suppose she could see you (as you presumably were sideways on) until she turned out of the intersection
You were onstructing the road-how had she caused the situation??

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:15

SoupDragon

ConfusedConfusedConfused

That's exactly what I'm saying.

:

I do think it clouds the issue what cars the 2 were driving.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:15

Do you have any sort of imagination, Cumfy?

it's not a physical impossibility at all.

SoupDragon · 05/11/2010 19:16

Yes, and I said WHY SHOULD IT cloud the issue.

cumfy · 05/11/2010 19:18

Ideally OP could just give us a Google Earth reference. :o