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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little hurt and offended

49 replies

numotre · 05/11/2010 09:13

When me and DH go out, we always get my brother to babysit dd and we pay him. I found out yesterday that he doesn't charge my other sisters to look after their dc. Of his 3 sisters he only charges me, AIBU to feel hurt by this.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 05/11/2010 10:10

Is your DD a little terror? Grin

tootiredtothink · 05/11/2010 10:11

Agree with everyone else - get your sisters to pay the poor lad.

PaisleyLeaf · 05/11/2010 10:13

Do your sisters already help him out in other ways?

Original poster
numotre · 05/11/2010 10:14

My sister wasn't stirring, she seemed surprised that he was charging me.

OP posts:
huddspur · 05/11/2010 10:26

YANBU it does seem unfair that he is making you pay whilst your sisters are getting it for free.

Animation · 05/11/2010 10:29

Numotre - would you prefer it if you all got this babysitting service for free?

Original poster
numotre · 05/11/2010 10:32

I don't mind paying him provided that my sisters are doing so as well. I just feel a little hurt that he isn't charging them whilst he is me.

OP posts:
mummytime · 05/11/2010 10:32

I slip my son a few quid when he babysits his siblings, well under the going rate, but it is family rate. Your sisters should pay, or they may find he is all booked up with paying clients in a few years.

badfairy · 05/11/2010 10:35

Well I'd just ask him why you pay and they don't then

lovelymumma · 05/11/2010 10:37

Don't blame your brother,he's just taking the money like any 14 year old boy would.When my brother was that age,he made me pay 10 pounds for his white shirt,but then he carried on wearing it!I'm not surprised he earns a lot now.I think your sisters are being a bit selfish not paying him any money.If you don't want to confront them about it,just bask in the warm glow of knowing you are a good generous human being.

minibmw2010 · 05/11/2010 10:38

I think as your brother is only 14, its not a case of him not "charging them", its a case of them "not paying him". Ask him why the others don't pay, don't assume and don't get hurt or annoyed with him. And at the end of the day what doeds it matter, you pay him, you obviously trust him to mind your children, everyone's a winner.

Animation · 05/11/2010 10:42

Your "hurt" with your 14 year brother seems misguided to me. He's just a kid. You three sisters are the adults and responsible for ensuring he gets a fair deal when he babysits.

TattyDevine · 05/11/2010 10:43

Put it this way, if you both want him on the same night, he'll favour you. Feel better now? Grin

YunoYurbubson · 05/11/2010 10:45

If you are happy to pay him and are pleased with his babysotting, I don't see what oin earth difference it makes whether or not your other sisters pay him. Perhaps they do other things for him? Perhaps they buy him clothes, or give him generous birthday presents? Perhaps he gets a good feed when he goes there? I bet there is a way in which he feels it is 'all square'. Is the babysitting money all you ever do for him?

Original poster
numotre · 05/11/2010 10:46

I just spoke to my mum about it and she says its probably because I have a girl whilst they both have boys and that dd is still in nappys.

OP posts:
Smithagain · 05/11/2010 10:48

Totally normal to pay teenagers to babysit. Your sisters are out of order by not offering. Unless of course they are paying him in other ways, as people have suggested.

cikals · 05/11/2010 10:58

To be fair if your dd is in nappys and so he has to change her, I don't think you should begrudge him whatever you pay him. I can think of many 14yo boys that would run a mile if they had to change a nappy.

BrainMash · 05/11/2010 11:03

I must admit I do find it hard to understand why you're feeling hurt and offended. He's your little brother and you're giving him a few quid to babysit. What is the problem? Are you thinking he likes your other sisters more and that's why he doesn't charge them?

You say your DD is still in nappies whilst your nephews aren't - so they are obviously older. So maybe when your DB first babysat for them he wasn't savvy enough to ask for money, but by the time you asked him to babysit he caught on to the fact he should be getting paid.

Don't take it personally Smile

huddspur · 05/11/2010 11:13

Do I sense a little bit of sibling rivalry, do you want to be your brothers favourite sister?

JustDoMyLippyThenWeWillGo · 05/11/2010 11:18

YANBU, but just forget it and be glad you have a babysitter! Grin

politac · 05/11/2010 12:11

Stop moaning, you are asking your brother to do something for you and so it is only right that you pay him to do it. I can't believe he is charging you a fortune.

BlueFergie · 05/11/2010 12:21

i think BrainMash has it. Its because your baby arrived later and the novelty of babysitting nephews and nieces had worn off. Realised he should be charging and started.

PaisleyLeaf · 05/11/2010 12:56

I also think it's probably much easier to mind his nephews - what do they do? Play on the wii/muck about/play games?
While minding a little girl in nappies does probably seem more of a 'job' to a 14 yr old boy.

medetre · 05/11/2010 13:31

YABU he might prefer spending time with his nephews whilst he sees looking after his niece as a job.

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