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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel so sad for my DC re university

106 replies

oldinboden · 03/11/2010 17:19

We are really poor ( ie entitled to working tax credits) My Dc are all fairly right.The eldest is doing GCSEs this year and has always assumed he would go to university,He is at GS and nearly everyone goes.But I really don't think he will be able to .I mean tuittion fees just for a 3 year course will be £27,000 and then living costs on top of that.
I went to Cambridge and it scarcely cost me a penny.I got a grant and huge bursary from the college.

OP posts:
LoopyLoops · 04/11/2010 09:03

"I'm not sure that graduates today are any better educated than A'Level students were 20 or 30 years ago."

I'm not sure you have a clue what you're talking about. What nonsense.

LoopyLoops · 04/11/2010 09:05

(Sorry Riven, but that made me laugh. Grin )
No, interview may not be her strong point.
Have you any idea what might be open for her to do?

Sarsaparilllla · 04/11/2010 09:05

Will going to university really help in him the long run though? You say yourself, you went to Cambridge and yet now class yourself as 'really poor' so was it really worth it in the scheme of getting a well paid job for your future? I'd say no....

I do think the fees now are excessive but it'll make kids/parents think more about if they really need/want to go to uni and what they'll truely get out f it in the long run.

sarah293 · 04/11/2010 09:06

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onceamai · 04/11/2010 09:08

LoopyLoops. Rather more of an idea than you imagine. Will probably interview at least half a dozen graduates this week who can barely string a sentence together. I left school with O'Levels and a secretarial course. There is a world of difference between being well educated and well qualified. Must dash - off to work and will probably have to sort out another couple of cock ups for my boss. She has a couple of masters degrees!

Riven - your daughter's disability is truly dreadful but how would she cope at university even if the place was completely free?

LoopyLoops · 04/11/2010 09:09

Totally agree Riven. It shouldn't just be about the jobs market, and education for education's sake is still valuable IMO.
Otherwise, why don't we start weeding the non-academic off at 12 and send them down the mines?

sarah293 · 04/11/2010 09:10

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onceamai · 04/11/2010 09:14

Well I didn't go to uni but shall have no problem whatsover in funding my dc and they will leave free from all debt. Smile

So LoopyLoops I must have some idea about education and life in general and what I'm talking about because I'm not sitting here whining about the cost - I was clever enough to make some serious money and to marry someone clever enough to make even more than I did/do. Didn't even have to go to uni to do it.

LoopyLoops · 04/11/2010 09:19

You may be clever, but I have seen nothing in your posts that suggest you have a good basis for asserting that A level students of 20 or 30 years ago were as educated as modern graduates.

And as for being "clever enough to marry someone clever enough to make even more than I did/do", I think that is a really poor lesson to be teaching young people.

catsmother · 04/11/2010 09:30

"I'm not sitting here whining about the cost - I was clever enough to make some serious money and to marry someone clever enough to make even more than I did/do. Didn't even have to go to uni to do it"

Are you Coleen Rooney ? Hmm

There you are then .... I'm sure all those literally unable to financially support their children through university will be much comforted to know it's their own "stupid" fault for not ensnaring a rich man and/or not having the right combination of circumstances, luck and hard work (?) in their past/present which enables them to be financially secure.

DrSeuss · 04/11/2010 09:40

I think I'm right in saying that Cambridge is one of the few unis that forbids students to have a term time job so that would not be the best choice. I went to Durham where jobs are allowed and worked at some seriously crappy jobs in the holidays (putting the caps on shampoo bottles, anyone?) as well as some OK ones (summer camps for overseas students, bed and board provided, check it out.) Others did American summer camps, bar work (even student bars require paid staff). There's also coaching for GCSE pupils, giving music lessons and a whole lot of other stuff he could maybe do. If you live near the coast there is often seasonal work in hotels, again, low paid, low level jobs but it's all money. How about applying for sponsorship from local companies. Years ago, I got £300 a year from ICI, not a lot but it was still £300 in hand. If he wants to go and has the ability to go then there will be a way. Not an easy or comfortable way as it was in the late 80s when we went to uni but a way.

Bumpsadaisie · 04/11/2010 10:16

DRSeuss

The fact that you are not allowed a job at Cambridge is more than made up for by the very cheap rents, the fact you can live in for all three years, the very generous grants and bursaries for those who need them.

Bumps x

runmeragged · 04/11/2010 10:23

Could you look into hardship/bursary/scholarship funds at specific universities? It is worth raising it with them if your DC really want to go to university. DH's family was poor when he went to uni - he got quite a lot of money from a fund designed for this purpose.

abr1de · 04/11/2010 11:32

Yes, I know WHY they're doing it (charging early repayment penalties) but since when has a government been proud of behaving like a high street bank? If I/my children manage to cobble together the money early I don't see why the government should penalise us.

America here we come!

bubbleOseven · 04/11/2010 11:55

ah but there's no NHS in the states!

Olderkidsaremine · 04/11/2010 12:05

All mine have gone or are going to Uni, eldest a teacher only pays approx £60 per month for her over £20,000 debt, its taken out at the same time as tax and national insurance so she doesn't see the money as hers anyway.

Middle one needs some help at times but for her to access extra money for hardship she has to show Uni her bank statements for the last few months and account for any spend over £100, you don't actually look that broke when you have worked for some of the summer!

The youngest is okay at the moment but is only on a foundation degree so when he needs to convert to a 'proper' degree he will be paying the extra fees. But all think it is a worthwhile investment.

They all qualified for full maintenance grant and loan but what they don't tell you until it comes through is that although you are entitled to the full amount of grant you won't get it as it is capped to ensure that you have to have the full loan amount!!

noddyholder · 04/11/2010 12:10

A new stationery store opened here last week Staples.It had about 800 applicants for 29 jobs.Of those I think the local paper said 39% were graduates.they were all sales jobs ie on the floor tills etc as management positions were filled internally.No more graduates than non graduates were succesful and i think so much detail was reported on this because of the current plitical climate.My best friends son came to our town last year for uni and he had a bar job which he is about to lose to a permanent cheaper option.It is dire

Decorhate · 04/11/2010 12:35

Riven, but presumably you would be able to let a child stay on at home for less than it would cost for them to rent somewhere else? If they work part-time and contribute to household expenses and help out with the other children surely that it better for the family than them not being there at all?

I was in Uni during a huge recession in my home country and several people I knew worked in the evening and made a big contribution to their family's income (fathers were unemployed)

working9while5 · 04/11/2010 12:49

There was a guy who was quadriplegic and with a VOCA in my graduating class. Got his 2:1. He had an aide but that was it.

sethstarkaddersmum · 04/11/2010 12:54

there was a quadriplegic girl at my school (speech and eyesight fine though), anyway, it was a grammar school, the governors didn't want her to come to the school because they thought it was a waste of a place on someone who was probably going to die before she grew up and would be a fire hazard in her wheelchair apparently. Hmm The headmistress told the governors where to go and pointed out she had passed the exam so had every right to the education. Not only did she never have a day off school sick, she went to Cambridge and is now a producer at the BBC....
oh and she does various bits of volunteering as well.

here's hoping Riven's dd will get to use her talents to the full too....

sarah293 · 04/11/2010 14:50

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MrsVincentPrice · 04/11/2010 15:32

Yes, so the child could live rent free but make a contribution to household bills and food - the family as a whole is going to be better off although the child will lack the traditional middle class rite of passage of three totally carefree independent student years.

Decorhate · 04/11/2010 15:46

The child just needs to cultivate friendships with students who have left home & hang out at their place a lot!

snowmash · 04/11/2010 16:26

I got a first using switch access, no reason why Riven's dd shouldn't have the same opportunity...but I think it's getting harder for severely disabled students. Mostly because the squeeze has already started, and it's affecting (decent levels of) student support.

BalloonSlayer · 04/11/2010 16:40

I'd expect FUCKING good tuition for £9000 a year.

When I was at University (only 14 years ago, mature student) I got a grand total of SEVEN hours lectures and tutorials a week. None of which were one to one. If I was on that course now and being asked to pay even £3000 I think I'd laugh in their faces.